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Feeling lost, incapable, insufficient

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Feeling lost, incapable, insufficient

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 43

Been very down the past couple of days and can't quite figure out where it's coming from. Partially I think some of those old core beliefs have risen back to the top and I know I need to stop those. I'm so completely exhausted both physically and emotionally. I think I need to give myself permission to feel some of these feelings so I know what they are and how to fix them. I've started walking which feels nice once I get out there, it's just getting out there. Today I just sat out in the sun and watched the dogs as I fell pretty hard on my knee yesterday and it's quite sore today. I'll go out again soon and tomorrow back out to find the beauty that is all around despite winter hanging on.

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 43

Hi there. I'm feeling really stuck today. I have absolutely no motivation to accomplish anything. The one thing I did was pay a couple overdue bills which is stressing me out to no end. This is because my self employed husband is not in the least proactive in collecting payment for his work and says all the time he'll call when he checks the mail. What's with that? And I've put up with this for years and always stress about finances! Up until a couple of months ago when this depression began creeping in again, I had finally found a way to not worry too much, but today it all came crashing in again. Need to figure this out don't I? Stuck, just stuck!

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 12049

rosiesmom,

Good for you for taking care of yourself first and be active about your progress!

Take the time you have to do your homework, go through the program and journal your thoughts and emotions. At your next appointment you will have some information that you and the therapist can work through.

You are an amazing individual and taking care of you comes first!

Josie, Health Educator

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 43

This week turned out to be not the greatest! I only made it into work one day this week and on Friday was feeling so discouraged, disgusted and depressed, I called the Ceridian number and spoke to a really great lady. I was at my ropes end and she talked me through and helped me see that taking care of me is okay. On Saturday evening I got a call from a therapist and actually went in today, Sunday, and had my first session. The homework part of all of this, including this sight and from the therapist, is a bit overwhelming but I will do my best. I still feel incredibly sad and depressed, along with anxiety and self loathing, but, as fast as this bout hit me, is as fast as I reacted and reached out. There can be no more sitting around for ever feeling useless. Time to fix it and fix it now. I know things are better on the other side. I was just there and I want to get back there. I saw my doctor as well and told him all my thoughts of depression and suicidal thoughts and found so much compassion I cried, which is so hard for me to do these days, believe it or not! He told me to take a week from work to "breathe"! I emailed the note to my supervisor and asked him to tell the manager because I just can't speak to her right now as I hear a lot of disapproval in her voice when I call in. Cowards way maybe, but less stress for me this way. So, I'll see if I do take the time away from work or not. My guilt may factor into it. My week in a nutshell. Thanks for being here!

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hello,

Sorry to hear you are are having a hard day. I think you express yourself great. I don't think you ramble at all.

Try not to worry about the tracking too much. If you spend 20 minutes on one tracked event a day that will be plenty to start. Tracking for CBT is really a skill you get better and better at as you go. Since you struggle with anxiety as well you may want to hang on to these questions below. They can be very help to use while tracking your negative thoughts:

10 Questions that Help Fight Anxious Thoughts
1.   Is it "true"?
2.   How do I know it’s true?
3.   Is the anxious thought 100% true? (Something less than 100% true is not true)
4.   What's the evidence for it being true?
5.   What's the evidence against it being true?
6.   Has it ever happened before?
7.   What's different now?
8.   How bad would it really be?
9.   What's the worst thing that could happen?

10. If the worst thing happened, how bad would it really be?

Keep us updated. I have a hunch you will start to feel a bit better in the next few weeks.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 43

Hello. Today is not a good day after having had a pretty good day yesterday trying to find ways to laugh. I didn't sleep very well at all last night having had many bad dreams and constantly waking up. Probably what hasn't helped is that I completely forgot to take my meds for two days. How dumb was that because it's not like me to do that. But my doctor has said that a couple of days won't make a huge difference but to be careful to not keep repeating that. Every little thing is annoying and frustrating me today.

I'd like to share more of my medical diagnoses with you, some of which I have really struggled with overcoming, and has become more pronounced again with this new bout of depression. I have been diagnosed with anxiety which almost made me lose myself on Friday. That was really scary and that's when my work people surrounded me with their compassion and concern and have made me more determined to get through this! Who would have thought that a company you work for could care so much. But I guess it's not the company, it's the people, and having such a system in place to help people is amazing!

Another thing I've been diagnosed with is obsessive-compulsive-avoidance disorder. The wheels are constantly turning and never seem to stop. The same things go round and round and one of the things I do to not obsess is to ask myself is "Is there anything you can do about it right now?" And if I can't then I try to find something else to do. It's hard but it helps somewhat. My biggest struggle with this is the avoidance part. I do my utmost to avoid any situation in which conflict may arise and thus it makes it very difficult getting dressed and leaving the house. Every workday morning is a struggle and though I was doing pretty good for quite a while, I'm back to just wanting to pull the covers over my head and pretend it's not something I have to really do! And surprisingly, for the most part I enjoy my job and some of it's challenges. My daily life after work is to get home as quickly as I can and shelter myself. I feel safest and I know it's not healthy. The saddest part is that when I do get the strength and courage to go out that door I wonder why I don't do it more often!

Today I printed off the mood tracker worksheets and while I know it's a valuable tool I fear that I'll keep forgetting to do it. But I will try hard to make it something I carry with me.

I'm feeling really sad and vulnerable today. Just writing here has been helpful. I'm not always the best at expressing myself and tend to ramble but I'm glad there is a place to safely do so. Thanks all and have a freeing day! Peace.

P.S. My age is 57 and it's exasperating to see it says I'm 114. I think I must have done something twice, but, who knows. Mustn't obsess must I?

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Rosiesmom,

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I'm glad you were able to find the strength to post here for help. That shows me your ready to take control of this. ~m offered you some great advice. What are your plans? Do you plan to take some time to process all the emotions you are likely feeling right now or are you ready to get down to the hard work of taking control of this depression? Either way, we're here to support you.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1022

Hi Rosiesmom,

Welcome to the DC. I hope that we can indeed offer you some comfort in this very difficult time. So much on your plate... that's a lot of heartache and grief with which to be dealing all at once. I'm glad you are surrounded by supportive and understanding people. It is good to hear you saying you know you can get back to feeling better again... a very positive bit of light in the midst of the darkness. Hold on to that knowledge. Know also that we are here to listen with understanding and care. You are not alone.

Having lost a number of family members in the last few years while struggling with my everyday depression, I can understand how difficult it is. It gets hard to remember the "right things" to do to keep your head above water. Sometimes, the only way is to just float til you get your energy back. What are your strategies? How can we help? From where to you get your strength when things get so bad?

Here for you...

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 43

Hi. I'm new to this site. I did post something yesterday but not here I don't think. I don't know where it went.

I've relapsed back into this hole again and know I need help. Done this for too long to remember and I'm so tired. My family and co-workers are very concerned about my well being, and frankly some days so am I, but I know I can get back to where I was just a couple of months ago when I felt positive about life for once. But so many things have snowballed together with my sister-in-law being diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, concern for my brother and how he's dealing with all this, myself getting very ill with the flu in January and the sudden death of my aunt just a week and a half ago. My doctor is away on holidays until March and I just kind of didn't know what to do until my wonderful co-workers stepped in out of concern. So here I am and I need your help, something very hard for me to do! Thanks for being there to listen.

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Feeling lost, incapable, insufficient