hi there. i am new to this. i hope this is appropriote to post but i have so much piling up on me i feel like i am suffocating. first a brief (i will try and keep it short and sweet) i was abused by my stepdad mentally verbally and physically most of my life. i spent my days being told i was useless, fat slob, stupid. i dodged punches, coffee mugs being thrown at my head. took beetings almost on a daily basis. at 14 i was kicked out. moved in with friends of the family people who i saw as my aunt and uncle. things were great. i had the family the parents i always longed for. of course like anything else it was too good to be true. I began being sexually assulted. when i tried to stop it i was physically abused. this went on for 6 years. finally i got my out when he went to jail for assulting his wife. at that point i was pregnant. he was one of the potential fathers. i was having a girl. finally i went to the police pressed charges did the whole court thing. he ended up getting 17 months in jail. he is getting out monday on good behavior after only 12 months. i am terrified. i have moved, cut off ties with everyone changed numbers ect but i have really shut down lately. im depressed all of these emotions, flash backs, anxiety are all coming back. im shutting out what little people are in my life. self medicating with drugs. feel like i have any one to talk to. i feel ashamed imbarrassed, disgusted with myself.
