Gosh if I could only make myself get out for a walk. I really need the physical activity. Reading your posts has given me a little bit of gumption to do so. I work all night tonight and next so the next two days are sleep days. Saturday then sounds like a day to try and make that walk.
Correction to previous post..Should read my partner of 10 years..not that it matters really..All that matters is that I know what the problem is now and I am beginning to work on it..Even so this is not easy..I have no support in my life really other than this site but what I have now is direction and some goals to work towards ..and that gives me hope..I matter to me now and that is what really matters isn't it. Therefore I am not invisible anymore am I..
Thanks for fixing my posting problem with the site. As you can see I am on board again..
In answer to the questions in your posting.
Five years ago I was lost and saw no way out of my depression. I was desperate and began looking on line for help and found this site. From there I began reading here and understanding depression and was given tools to help me.I also began working in the panic center for I had become a recluse too. So began working the program by incorporating pleasant activities in my daily life and then began doing exposure work by venturing outside again and slowly but surely I began to improve..
So in answer to your second question. These time I noticed I was spiraling quickly and knew where to go for help and understanding. So I logged into The Depression Center again and began reading the program again. There was one difference this time. I had come to the realization that my depression had other outside elements to it and that was my People Pleasing tendencies..My partner of five years has the same problem and his Disease to Please has had a profound effect on me and our relationship. One of my negative core belief was that I and still is that I am invisible.
So this time around I am working on changing some of my negative core beliefs. I started reading a books titled In Sheep Clothings, The Disease to Please and Who's pulling your strings..These books helped me realize that I had a lot more work to do here in The Depression Center. I had fallen into a deep depression because I could see now way out for me because of my partners inability to put our relationship first before his disease to please others. I read these books to him also. We are working on turning it around. I know I am anyway.
So I logged back in and started working on my issues again here on the site..Starting with pleasant activities. I have worked on core belief a little now..but it is so painful so I decided that I needed to incorporate some pleasant activities into my life again..As a couple or at least by myself..because I refuse to see myself as invisible anymore. I am intelligent and wonderful person really. I do feel pain in my heart writing this and it scares me but I will not give up on my desire to live a happy and fulfilling again..
It's inspiring to see you in action. No matter what life throws at you - you use your tools and face it head on. Awesome work.
You seem in control. Let's look back 5 years or so. How would you have handled this set back then? How do you think you have changed since then in how you handle things?
Good for you Red. Your message "sounds" energetic!
Today is a difficult day for me. Our 5 year old mixed breed Sage had to go to her final rest today. This has left me really drained and heartbroken. But I believe she is at peace now and in no pain. Tomorrow is another day and, for her, I am going to follow thru on some plans.
