Today I actually feel much better....that seems to be the way it is right now with me, I'll be really down and hurting for a few days. then I'll feel much better for a day or 2, then back to feeling really down. This morning I took my dog out for walk without having to fight myself on it which was great, but I know I will soon lose the motivation and it will become a terrible struggle again. I know that I will always feel better after being outside but it's so hard to push myself to do it regardless. Even with something as simple as making my bed....some days I just don't feel like doing it, even though I know I'll be happier when I come later and see that it's done.
I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way. It sounds like you feel really hurt right now, but also frustrated as you're not sure why.
You mentioned that you are not feeling motivated to take your dog for a walk. Unfortunately lack of modification is a symptom of depression. The thing is, when you are depressed you can't wait for the motivation before initiating the task. You must initiate the task whether you feel motivated or not. Each time you push yourself it will get a little easier. And each time you are done the walk you will feel a little better. It is not easy but it is worth it.
Taking the dog for a walk sounds like a good productive/pleasant activity.Use the program worksheets to record this activity, and your feelings before and after.
I've been off work on a leave of absence because of my depression for a little over a week now. I thought getting away from that environment would be helpful, and for the first few days I felt great not having to get up and go to work. But now I'm feeling more and more miserable, just like I did when I was at work. I know that getting outside and walking my dog makes me feel better, but it's so hard to find the motivation to actually get up off the couch. I have a big dog that needs a lot of exercise so he'll bug me until I take him, but at that point I'm so upset and so irritated because I don't have any motivation to do it on my own.
This morning was a really bad one.....I got up to drive my boyfriend to work and then came back home and just lied on the couch for hours watching tv/a movie. The entire time I had that horribly familiar depressed, painful feeling.....the one where it feels like there's a really heavy weight on my chest and it's going to burst either through tears or just rip through me. I don't know how else to explain it really.....it feels like my heart and everything else in my chest is broken, for no reason, and I don't can't do anything. Can anyone else relate to this? Is there anything that I can to stop, or lighten this feeling? How can I gain motivation?
