Of course you have a purpose. First you will get yourself healed, then you can offer support and love to your daughter. Even if someone else is looking after her day to day needs, you can still have a great deal of influence on her life.
Ok, my situation got worse. I got served legal custody papers from my dad on Sunday. I thought I was ok and then on Sunday night in bed I had a meltdown. Inconsolable tears. Everything over the past 2 years just came to a head. I couldn't get the papers out of my head. I signed over all rights to my daughter. I have no purpose anymore and I thought that I would have a few more years to prepare for this. I could barely get out of bed Monday and Tuesday but I need my job, too many bills and I semi-enjoy it. I feel like a failure at work now too. So much pressure!
I am sorry to hear about how you are feeling. I can hear you really love and miss your daughter. It is normal and even healthy to feel devastated by this loss. It will take time and possibly outside help to start to feel better. Allow yourself to be sad sometimes. Allow yourself to miss your daughter. Continue to make yourself the most healthiest version of yourself - this is not only for you but also for your daughter. Due to your depression and feelings of low self worth you might want to look for help from a therapist. Have you thought about this? In the mean time, work on this program. We will be here every step of the way.
Iadding to my overwhelmed feelings is that my 21 year old son was diagnosed with adult ADHD. He is responding to meds but it had been a hard 3 years and that has added to my stress and lack of coping mechanisms. I' m in slow motion today...I manage to do a few things but end up sitting down and watching TV to escape. I hope tomorrow will be better.
I remember the point of time before and shortly after my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD. I felt like I must be a bad parent because my daughter was not like other kids. Learned later that it is very common for parents to blame themselves when their children have a disability.
It is not your fault.
You can still be a help to your daughter. You can still reach out to her with love and understanding. When your are feeling better you will have opportunities to be with her again. Never give up on showing your daughter that you love her.
Thank you. I am moving to a new place alone. I need to get out of this "ghost: house and start fresh. I am beyond broke but I need to do this. Christmas has been extremely hard for me not to see my daughter. I miss her so much and I feel like I have failed her. I have spent several days over the holidays in bed or on the couch. I am very grateful for my dog which makes me have to get out at least once a day. My daughter is all I know.
I know how you feel but our situation is different. I have been depending on meds lately not sure if you are. But like you unable to concentrate. I have been off work for 2 months and can't afford it anymore. If you have suicidal thoughts maybe you have to see someone right away.
Hang on to the thought that this situation can get better. Have you reached out for help for yourself? It must be hard to be separated from your daughter. The fact that you can still get yourself to work and be with other people shows that you can go on with some normal things. I hope you begin to feel better soon.
Galianna
I am new to the group and I consider myself to be a very strong person but this year has gotten the better of me.
I am a single mother of a 14 year old disturbed teenager. I have been trying my best to keep everything afloat but she is doing everything possible to make her life worse. She has suffered the constant wrath of bullies and she has become extremely depressed. She has been acting out at school to the point the school deemed me an unworthy parent and social services has taken her away.
She is living with my dad now but even my dad will not let me see her. She just attempted suicide, she is ok but I have lost her and all faith I had in me as a mom. I work FT and try to do my best for her but my best is not good enough. There is much more to this story but this boils down to my depression. I am having suicidal thoughts daily, hourly lately. It has been 10 years with just her and I and I am beyond lost without her. My friends say to try to meet a guy and try to live my life best I can, but the problem is, I hate myself and I feel I have nothing left to give and no purpose on this earth anymore. I go to work every day but I cannot concentrate and it is starting to affect my performance. I only go to subdue these thoughts for a while.
