It sounds like you have a lot of insight into what may be contributing to the depression. This is great! The program can help you to counter this narratives. Have you had a chance to get started?
Welcome to the group. I have been a member since last fall. I noted your words of 'allow myself the life I deserve." You are right, we deserve to be respected and loved. Self-doubt tends to make me forget that I am worthy of being respected and loved. Being appreciated and loved by those around you can go a long way towards living a fulfilling life. Maybe that is the best thing for a fulfilling life, sure beats a bigger car or rings on your fingers.
Thanks for being an open ear in a time of need. I've been dealing with depression for quite some time now and it's getting to the point where I need to make some changes in order to allow myself the life I deserve. I'm tired of perpetually mulling over negative thoughts in my head causing me to be disconnected from all that is going on around me; limiting my opportunities because of artificial narratives built out in my head.
This has been such an ongoing cycle for me throughout my life but I still have faith that it can all change and thank you in advance for helping be a part of it.