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Extra conditions threw me off


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I was here a few years ago. I have suffered from bouts of depression since I was in my late teens. I didn't quite finish the program here but things seemed a bit better so I let go. However, I hit a few events that pushed me further than I could handle. My husband was hit by a truck and couldn't work in his company (which was where I worked too so I also lost my job). We had paid into disability insurance (to cover half his wages but NOT any of the company's lost revenue so we lost the company) but after 12 months the insurance stopped paying. He took the insurance to a tribunal for stopping the coverage when he was not well enough to work and he won but it took 3 years (it's been 4 years since his accident). Since he could not work and had no insurance coming in, I was forced to work multiple jobs. I had worked from home for almost 2 decades. I didn't adjust well. This change brought attention to my differences and issues that from home I was able to adapt to or ignore. During the past three years not only has my depression come back with a vengeance, I have been diagnosed with Adult Attention Deficit Disorder, Autism, Fibromyalgia and apparently I'm starting Menopause too. Woo hoo. What a mess! Now that he has finally won his insurance battle and now gets half his previous wages I was able to quit a couple of my jobs so now I'm gone to work weekdays from 6 am to 6 pm except Thursdays I'm home at 8 pm and I no longer work on weekends. I could finally catch up on life on the weekends but so far (I quit at the beginning of Jan) I have spent my weekends just laying in bed. I can only get out of bed to go to work but I cry the whole way there. Some nights I stay at work later because I am too weak to even drive home so I try to 'wake up' enough so I can drive safely. The new diagnoses was quite a set back for me. I don't know what to treat first. I want to learn about my 'issues' but I'm so drained. I have a doctor that is supposed to help me learn about my autism so I can adjust but when I saw him he only spoke about my 'environment'. That is, my husband came to the evaluation appointments and behaved in a way that the doctors (and social workers) present are attributing many of my issues to him. The doctor is spending our visits trying to convince me that my husband is abusive. I think his plan is to convince me to leave! Argh, just what I need...another drama! Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm back to finish up the program, use the Extra Help lessons and tools and get back on my feet despite the slew of setbacks and complications in my path.

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