I am so happy to hear you are feeling hopeful. Depression and fatigue can be so debilitating. Good for you for getting proper treatment and not giving up on yourself! That takes a lot of courage and determination. What do you want to remember about what you have gone through? What is the take away piece do you think?
I've come back, been away from this site for a few months. I see things a bit differently now, I can absorb more of what I'm reading now. I am starting up with the tools and will do my best to get each session's homework completed. The medications do seem to help but it took a long time to work out all the issues I had. Fatigue lasted way beyond what it should have and it took a while to find the medical reason for it. Now that I have some energy I think I can do this :)
Thank you Super Girl for your response. I think i may have moved along too fast joining this group. i don't have a therapist yet, i did not feel like calling the 1 800 number : /
I will try to connect with someone next week I hope.
I try to remember that it's not my fault that I have depression. It is an illness. I have bad days and I have good days.
It makes me think about times when I've set out to lose weight, some days I do a good job "controlling" myself by eating healthy, and some days I just go off he rails and eat a whole bag of Reese's peanut butter cups. Yeah, I didn't do such a good job that day but that doesn't mean that tomorrow can't be better. I felt really guilty and ashamed when I quit therapy because my psychiatrist wasn't a good fit for me, but I feel good about taking a step toward managing my depression my seeing a psychiatrist and by joining this site.
I have been trying to function normally but have had so many breakdowns I am now out of sick leave. My doctor has increased my dosage of escitalopram and is being very supportive. I have trouble just being this way. I am ashamed that I cannot keep better control of my feelings. He says I have many stressors that are out of my control and the meds may help me deal with them better. Right now I have a hard time believing that. I have seriously thought of dying but I can't tell anyone that. I feel like I am letting everyone down, family friends and coworkers. It is almost a year since my mother died, and my father is quite ill now too. This just brings me to tears and I can't stop crying.
I am sorry to hear you have been feeling this way. Getting a diagnosis, medication and a program to work on are all excellent steps forward. Take your time with the program. If you can work on one thought record a day and one section of the program a week that would be more then enough. It has been a few days since you posted last. How are you feeling today?
I just joined this group too. I've had depression almost my whole life. I wish you well on your journey here. You're right - it is really hard to tell people about struggling with depression. There is still such a stigma with mental illness. I have kept my depression secret from everyone except for my husband and two close friends. It's easier somehow to talk about my OCD-related problems than depression. Perhaps because some of these things are pretty obvious to the outside world and hard to disguise!
When I'm stuck in a negative spiral I try to remind myself to take things one small bit at a time. I can focus on doing the small things and try to avoid getting overwhelmed by the big picture.
Hugs,
Super Girl
This is my first experience with a group like this. I have been diagnosed with depression by my doctor. I broke down crying in his office. I am on my 3rd week of the medication, escitalopram. It helped almost immediately with the anxiety attacks I was getting. I have been struggling with energy levels, and trying to keep things looking normal. I let my partner know about my depression, but no one else knows. I have trouble getting through the day at work. Left early today because I knew I was making mistakes due to inattention. Its just adding to the stress I feel. My short term memory is not so good and I am not sure I even understand what the next step of this program is. Tried doing the mood tracker this week but not sure if I'm doing it right.
