hi there to all, I am new to this and unsure how to start or even what to say....
but what do I have to lose, right? you don't know me so what's the worst that can happen.. be aware, this may take awhile....
I just turned 31 and for over half of my life, I can honestly say I have not been happy. I have lost myself completely. Seeking the help from others previously has never benefitted me by any means and I have honestly given up. I am on here today to try one last time, not for my sake but for the sake of my kids.
I am hurting so bad. I have been as strong as I can be, but I am now being overwhelmed with emotions. Work today was extremely hard with everyone asking if I'm ok. I don't even know how to answer that question anymore.. what is it like to be "ok"? I work with some amazing people that want to help but I don't want them to see me this way. I don't want to be seen as vulnerable or weak. I know that I am strong, but my strength withers away too soon. My issue isn't even with work. I have an amazing job, I truly lucked out landing this job. Its my home life that is really bothering me and has been for quite awhile. I am a troubled, troubled individual.
My life has been a hard one, ever since I was a young girl. I don't even know where to begin. How far back do I go? Is my past hopeless? Is it too far back that its not longer important? I feel like I should be focusing primarily on my current issues. I don't want to bore others with my problems. Most of the time I feel like my problems are stupid and I'm over-reacting about nothing. That I am the problem.
What do I do.........?
