Welcome!
I am glad you have come here for support. That's very impressive that you are already good at nipping those intrusive thoughts in the bud. What is your strategy in doing this? This program will be able to give you more information on this. Have you had a chance to check it out yet? I encourage you to work on one session a week. Be sure to complete the homework each week as well.
Sounds like you have been though a lot. I am glad you are working with a therapist and also very glad to read how resourceful you are. It is clear you have already put a lot of work into your mental health. After all you have been though anyone would struggle sometimes - you are so strong. All of the sessions in the program are helpful but you might want to jump to the section of core beliefs. It seems values/core beliefs is where you intuitively think you need to go next. I encourage you to do so. If you get stuck or have any questions please let us know. I look forward to reading more about your journey.
Take good care,
Ashley
Hey,
My name is Maëlys. I'm a thirty-three year old woman who regularly deals with suicide ideation, feelings like I have no real worth, that I'm not loved, etc. My mental health operates on a day-night cycle; I'm good mid-day, but early in the morning, and later in the evening the intrusive thoughts begin. Occasionally some topics can trigger a spiral though I'm pretty good at nipping those in the bud now. I'm on here to see if there's more information I can acquire to reduce these feelings.
I'm currently seeing a therapist; and have seen a number of therapists over the years. It's been helpful in addressing maladaptations that resulted from growing up with emotionally immature and sometimes violent parents. I've had a pretty good life since leaving home, with a few exceptions: a boyfriend who beat me regularly for a year, parents who couldn't accept that I was trans, being harassed and groped by pedestrians for being androgynous/masculine, etc. Those don't really impact me so much as being bullied as a kid and having parents with anger issues / self-centered. Still working to unlearn values about myself then.
So yeah, I'm hoping I'll read stuff here that's helpful to me, or something.