I'm sorry, I understand how you feel due to past experiences. Stay focused on your quit and be as understanding as possible. Play with your kids and realize there is a lot of perfect already there - lots of love that you give them everyday. That's what they know right now and will always remember. Take care, CobenFan [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/25/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 43 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 747 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $150.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 36 [B]Seconds:[/B] 35

I think a couples reward sounds like a GREAT idea. No one ever said that rewards have to be for you and you alone, just something that makes you happy right??I am glad you are starting to let go of some of the anger you have towards him. Just be supportive and the rest will fall into place. Enjoy your reward, you deserve it :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 53 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 641 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $111.3 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 48 [B]Seconds:[/B] 1

The best advice I can give you is to be supportive of whatever choice he makes. Love him no uncondituionally and let him know you are there for him no matter what. This may upset you but I feel it needs to be said.......Remember you married him as a smoker and you accepted it then so even though you have quit you should still accept him whether he is a smoker or not. Just let him know how you feel without putting him down and let him know you are there for him when he is ready. Sit down and have a heart to heart talk or write him a letter letting him know how you feel. Most of all keep strong in your quit. He may not admit it now but you will be a good role modle for him. You are both in my thoughts. Keep strong, we are all here for you. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 52 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 631 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $109.2 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 42

[color=Maroon]THANK YOU AGAIN EVERYONE!!![/color] Ya' know, I never really put this anger up against my quit. I never really thought it would come into play. I have been so angry and all of my thoughts have been on [color=Navy]HIS[/color] quit. I realized this yesterday. I walked into my garage, and there was 3 friends of ours, and my husband outside smoking and all drinking beer. When I walked out there, I took a deep breath and enjoyed the smell, well, only for one breath. Then all of a sudden, CRAVE..... so I removed myself. I went back inside and got a water bottle. I downed the whole thing! Then I went out back and took a deep breath... AAAHHH..... no smoke!!! Then I came and sat my butt down at the computer. The craving only really lasted about 45 seconds. That is how long I was out in the garage. I know my quit wasn't in jeapordy, but between my hurt, anger, and my swaying mind, I allowed a crave to enter. My hubby is going to be okay. He mentioned being hypnotized again!!! He knows he wants to quit, he is just waiting. So, I know he will give it another try. When he brings it up again, I will suggest going to see the doc to try meds, as well as the patch. Even if he quits, slips, and tries again..... No matter how many times, it doesn't matter. What matters to me is that he is trying. He cares enough about himself to give it a shot. I have said extra prayers for him. I pray for him to find the strength and love in himself to rise above this. I will keep on reaching for my dream of health, for ALL of us!! Maybe it is time for a "couples" reward??? I know I need to reward myself, do you guys think it is okay to spend my reward on the two of us -- maybe take us out to dinner?? Or treat both of us to a pedicure?? (Both him and I have achy feet. All this extra weight is hitting us hard!!!) :quest: [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 65 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,963 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $212.55 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 22 [B]Seconds:[/B] 33

Hi there, and [b][color=Maroon]THANK YOU[/b][/color] for your kind responses. I'm beginning to think that there is more to this than just him smoking again. I really don't want to go down that road. One thing at a time. I have to hang on to that picture of my family. I just have to. That is my goal. We have to better our health. And my children's health is my responsibility. I have to set a good example. I just need to accept that we are no-way near that goal yet. The more I try, the more frusterated I get. One step ahead, two steps back. I will reach it someday!! I never give up on anything!!! As far as my hubby goes, well, it is hard to not want to be near him. I don't want him to hug me. I don't want him to kiss me. He stinks. It is very discusting. However, he is my husband, and I do love him. And you guys mentioned that he probably feels horrible about this too. I never thought of it that way. [B][color=Teal]THANK YOU[/B][/color] for helping me see another side of this. Sometimes I don't see the other side of things until it is too late. I have more compassion for him now. I am determined to help him, but I will refrain, until asked. I will show him that I am committed to my quit. And I will hold it like a football in my arms, running down the field, hitting head on the troubles of life as they try to tackle me down. But, I will continue to support and encourage him. This is our first real quit. I never beleived it could be like this for me. I always thought I would smoke. Same goes for my hubby. So it is so difficult for me to understand how come he cannot just "FIGHT" it. I did. I fought hard. This way of thinking is something I MUST overcome - I will work on that!!!!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 64 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,934 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $209.28 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 33 [B]Seconds:[/B] 11

That is how I feel right now. Betrayed. I am so angry and hurt....... My husband and I quit together. As I have mentioned many times before, our quits have been opposite. Mine, I have accepted. His, he battles everyday. He has struggled every day, and I have tried to support him in every way I could. I've tried to give him ideas, suggestions, and just to say "I understand". I've told him it does get better, once you let go. Let go of the fight. Make yourself truely believe that this is the way. This is the only way. And not smoking is better than smoking. I've helped him to try not to remember smoking. Not to think about sitting in the garage and lighting up. You have to force yourself sometimes to not remember. It is very difficult. And he bought some cigars about a month ago. I thought, okay, at least he is not inhaling. What a fool I am. So now he is so used to having a cigar in his hand, and he smokes one all of the time, and now he is inhaling!!!!!!!!!!! Yesterday I really realized what was happening. His horrible cough returned. He coughs so bad, he chokes himself, and throws up. He is out of breath all of the time. And he stinks. I let it go before because I didn't want to nag him. But he might as well go buy a pack of smokes. Because he is smoking. It doesn't matter what he is smoking; he is smoking. Period. I am so angry at him. How could he do this?? It would devestate my daughter to find out that he is smoking again!! She is only 7, and doesn't know how hard quitting is, but she is so proud of her Daddy since he doesn't "do that thing anymore!" She told him many times how wonderful he smelt. Can't he fight this for her??? Da*n It- I am. I want our girls to know a healthy life. They are young, and they will not remember all of the times when I smoked. I want them to know that healthy eating, exercising, and getting outdoors is very important. I want them to respect their bodies and what goes into it. I want to show them how to be strong, and self disciplined. Yet have fun too. I have worked so hard for this. To show the girls that way of life, and now, all of my hard work has gone up in smoke!!! He is un-doing all I have done. That is not fair. We are a family, and for once in my life, a non-smoking family. I wanted to create

I know you all are right. Getting wrapped up in my emotions just makes this worse. I know my quit is my own. His is his. This is our first attempt. I guess I still have a lot of anger issues. Anger at myself for not quitting sooner. Anger that smoking has led to a bleek lifestyle. One that is not healthy. One with no motivation. I am trying to do a complete turn-around with my life. I am very strict with myself. I have to be, or else I will be too weak to fight. If I am not hard on myself, it is like I allow myself to fail. That is not okay. I just wanted this picture of a healthy, active family to be mine. And we are far from it. We are all so unfit. So unhealthy. I always take on too much. And that fuels my emotions. And it appears my husband is the target this time. I wanted us to remain quit together. To battle this and win. Again, just fooling myself. This is not how the game is played. My 2 girls have always been my inspiration for my quit. I have said that from the beginning. They are not the reason I quit, but my inspiration for staying quit. I know my hubby desperately wants to quit. I think the patch is a great idea. Maybe that is how I can approach this subject. Offering a little nudge shouldn't hurt, right?? BTW- all of our hard work, (hubby's & mine) has rubbed off on 2 people!!! My hubby's father and his roomate have quit!!! They are 4 weeks already!! 2 people down, 4 left............... [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 63 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,906 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $206.01 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 47 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6

Wow 4my2girls - Some deep, gentle and loving compassion for YOU and your husband would be such a loving gift right now... And being hard on yourself, well, I invite you to be gentle w/yourself right now, dear one. Breathe, stay in the moment, and let go of those 'pictures' you have of the 'perfect' family. One step at a time. One moment at a time. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 63 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,237 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $292.95 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 1 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17

4my2girls: Since we quit on the same day I feel close to you. They have given you good advice and all I can really add is if your husband is coughing a lot he will realize why and finally come back to the real quit. Maybe he needs to see his doc for some meds like zyban or whatever. Just stay strong with your quit you are setting a good example. judy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 64 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,678 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $128 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 9 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 50 [B]Seconds:[/B] 4

4my2girls, poor girl, so much anger and hurt :-( I have to agree with everyone that you have to quit for yourself and only for yourself! Not for your girls and not for your husband and let your husband do his quit how he sees fit. My now ex-wife and I quit back in 2001 and we both made it 6 months until she started up secretly and I found out about it 3 months later and started again because I was so mad ... first one cig, then cigars and pipes and then figured the whole thing was shot anyway so might as well go back to cigs. Now, a couple of years later, We are in the middle of a huge custody battle, our little girl is stuck in the middle, we cannot even say 5 words to each other .... does it have to do with the quit? maybe it was the start - who knows? Since I was forced to move out I am quit again ... not sure if the timing was good, but I am proud that I did it. Don't dream about the healthy memories .... [b]Today is the memory of tomorrow[/b] make them good memories, loving and caring ... .take care of your husband and show him that you love him, take care of your quit, and take the girls out for a picnic ... 4my2girls - please take care of your quit, take care of yourself and take care of your family ... phoenix [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/24/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 74 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,224 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �555 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 11 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 52 [B]Seconds:[/B] 56