Hello Riverdale Man, your struggle touches me a lot and will inspire me a lot as well, I know it. You are feeling, you have emotions, they may be pain or overwelming but it means to me you are 100 % alive and even more maybe and I find it beautiful. Since I stopped, it feels to me like I have more time, I give myself more time to reflect on what i feel. I don't need to constrain/feed one emotion with one cigarette anymore, framing one emotion by one cigarette, throwing the whole package in the rubbish and move on till the next, 1 emotion covered up by one cigarette, rubish, move on...
I don't know how far this is just me but I have the impression we are more naked towards our emotion when we are smoke free, don't have a buffer so much anymore but this is what may make us more able to deal with them, more sensitive to listen to them, more honest towards them. Anyway, hope you are ok or better right now and i am sure that whatever you felt, however hard it was, you learnt something from it and as well that you could do without any fake-on-the-spot substitute. Keep just being exactly as you are, Rai.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 18
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 561
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �72
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 58 [B]Seconds:[/B] 32