Good going Cheermom, you just beat another round with the nicodemon. You are going to be alright.
Giving up the habit is one of the roughest decisions that you will ever make. It isn't easy, nor is it over in a week or even a month. Part of the consequences for having smoked is the mind damage that you have had done that you are not aware of. For a long while, your mind will tell you that a cig is the answer to anything that goes wrong, or anything that needs celebration. But your changing your life, and it does get much easier to fight. At this point in your quit, the game is all in your mind. If you allow your mind to dwell on the idea that you might be willing to give it another smoke under certain circumstances, then it will keep at you. What you need to do is tell it "NO, not under any circumstances. You have had all that you will ever get." Repeat it anytime that you have a thought. and mean it.
Handeling the anger is part of the quit. Just like healing from the death of a friend, you have now given the ax to a long time companion. One you never went anywhere without. So you will go through the stages of grief, and go back and forth for a while. Just remember Nope. Nope, NOPE!
Glad you made up with your family, and go buy your self some cheap breakable items at the thrift store. Doesn't matter what they are, and pick up a cardboard box while you are out. The next time the anger overwhelms you, go out to the garage where you store the box and the dishes, and just start throwing them into the box, listen to them break. Shatter them as hard as you can. Its good exercise for your body and your mind. The box will contain all the pieces so that it's easier to clean up, and it just some how makes you feel less angry. This is just one of many tips I have found on this site. Check out the general forum...you can go back as far as you can read.
Keep on track, use your plan, and thank your husband.
Cheryl
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/4/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 344
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,276
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $980.4
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 45 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 18 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30
