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for 17 år siden 0 1 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi freemom -- congrats on your great job so far! My kids are grown and gone, but I relate to the struggle and stress with kids - special needs. I am responding because I've heard the same comments for years - that I am not really a smoker -- because I've had a ONE A DAY habit for 17 yrs. Occasionally I'd go more - if visiting smoking family - but very very rarely. I've even had Docs tell me 1-2 a day isn't a problem. But it's a lie. Truly. Because like you I hid my habit. My kids eventually knew - but coworkers and most friends didn't. I also never bought carton; My final motivation to quit was two fold. 1. The hiding. I've been divorced 12 yrs and if/when I ever start dating again I don't want to have to hide....let alone from coworkers and friends. I remember the day I was caught by my 11 yr old son for first time. He burst out crying and said Mommy I don't want you to die! How is it possible I didn't quit that minute? 2. cough. I have had cronic cough my whole life. I remember it clearly as kid - and it's one of those deep bronchial coughs. Why someone with this issue would ever take up smoking is beyond me. But as a smoker I've learned to live with a moderate amount, but lately it's been bad enough to vomit (the phase started with bad cold); I get worried/annoyed looks/comments from coworkers & friends. So please - avoid this future by hanging strong. I quit a week ago and am still coughing a lot, but I'm seeing improvement. I'm searching for healing tools. Bottom line - a smoker is a smoker no matter how much we smoke, where, with whom or why. It's to our credit to finally admit it. Stay heatly and love those kids - and yourself. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/16/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 8 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $8 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40
for 17 år siden 0 848 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Tutti, Imallclear, Audrey - thanks for your responses. I am hanging in there. Trying to work through the angst. I tend to get panicky when I start looking too far into the future and I have to remember to stay more in the moment with this quit. It's tough when a lot of the moments are rough. Tutti - your right, I guess it is cravings - just mental cravings not physical. It took me a long time to realize that I was even addicted to nicotine because so much of it was just in my head. You see most of the time I smoked when the opportunity struck. Its hard to believe but I really did hide my smoking well. When I recently 'fessed up about smoking and quitting to my MIL and also a good friend they were both shocked - neither one had a clue. My family has no idea - believe me if my mom knew I'd hear about it! LOL Maybe thats what is frustrating - I really don't see or feel any external differences because I wasn't out there smoking in front of people. So nobody around me knows that there is anything "different" or better about me now. Just me and you folks here! My husband tries, but as someone who never smoked he doesn't really understand. I just had a talk with him to make sure he understood that quitting isn't just something you decide to do one day and boom your quit and that's that. It's a process that takes time and work and there are good days and bad. He's trying to understand. I also had to tell him he hasn't been praising my success enough and that I need time & space to reward myself better. I feel so much better now. Communication is a good thing. Thanks for the support and I'll try to check in again tomorrow. Assuming I can get some private time on the computer - that's one of the complications of my kids not knowing I smoked. But telling them now would open too many cans of worms - don't need to go there, not at this point in time! Goodnight. - Freemom [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/29/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 26 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 313 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $106.08 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 50 [B]Seconds:[/B] 32
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for 17 år siden 0 848 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
It�s prob. just ol' Nicodemon trying to get me, but I've been struggling this week. For the past 2 weeks I've been mostly stuck home taking care of sick kids,self & hubby! Add to that cold, snowy weather. Then add a cancelled trip, hubby going to work and leaving me home with kids on school vac, hormones, financial stresses (my younger daughter is delayed and has various issues that have her in a special ed class and we supplement with private speech, OT and vision therapy � expensive even with some ins covge). Oh yeah and I�ve had to fight for use of the computer and privacy to go with it all week. History - I've been an ON & OFF CLOSET SMOKER for years. Mostly on and ALWAYS secret. Yes I even hid my smoking from my husband � he knew I occas smoked but never in front of him and I hid the amount. So I spent a lot of my life hiding � looking over my shoulders to buy a pack of cigs, parking in the back of a lot to stand outside and smoke, sneaking outside to smoke in the back or by the garage hoping the neighbors, my kids and hubby wouldn�t catch me. At the end I came clean to my husband because it was putting a barrier in our relationship and was therefore pressed to quit. It took about a month or so of trying on and off before I came across Chantix and was finally ready & able quit. For the most part it�s been pretty easy with a few rough spots and a few minor slips in the beginning before I really got on track. This board and the people I�ve �met� here have been tremendously helpful. But now I�m starting to lose steam with my quit. Not really craving a smoke, but my mind is playing games with me. It�s saying I wasn�t a full-fledged smoker in the first place 'cause I didn�t smoke regularly and publicly. I also was a lighter smoker than many I�ve come across here � at my max I smoked 11-13 a day, and until recently is was more like 7-10. I�ve never bought a carton of cigs, only 1 pack at a time. So this voice is trying to tell me that I can smoke periodically if I want as long as I keep it under control. Adding to this frustration is the fact that I hardly see any life improvements since quitting. Sure I�m not coughing, but I wasn�t coughing THAT much before. But my skin isn�t any moister or clearer, my teeth are the same color as befo
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for 17 år siden 0 848 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks everybody for your support and replies. You're bringing tears to my eyes. I do feel much stronger today and I do intend to beat this demon. I think I've been a bit blue this week for various reasons and that hasn't helped matters. How ironic that I'm already taking Zoloft and the doc upped my dose when I quit the smokes! I guess we all have rough spots and they occur whether or not we smoke. So I'm not going to smoke. At least not for today and hopefully today will turn into tomorrow and the next day, etc... I always did have trouble when I looked too far into the future and got cowed by the big picture! Hanging strong today! - Freemom :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/29/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 26 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 318 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $106.08 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 49 [B]Seconds:[/B] 22
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for 17 år siden 0 848 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Serenity - you have so hit the nail on the head about me and how a big part of my smoking was about rebelling. I have always been a people-pleaser and try to make everyone else happy and whenever I come out and say something that others don't like it seems to blow up in my face. Hence the smoking and in secret, I guess. I do need to sort of "find myself" and find my own healthier escapes. I think part of the problem is that my quit was sort of forced upon me by my husband. I knew it had to come in time, but I may not have been fully in it just for me when I started. I AM glad I quit, but I guess there's a little part of me that wasn't really set to do this yet. That's the part that I'm hoping and praying time and practice will squash as I fully embrace what I've gained by quitting instead of what I've lost. Today I spent 5 hours out browsing and shopping with my daughter and it was wonderful. In the past, after a few hours I'd have been itching to drop her off at home and continue errands alone so I could get those smokes in. Today we just had fun together. Faith - thanks for the extra support! You and the rest of my shipmates on the Magic really do inspire me and help keep me focusing on the goal while having fun. Gonnadoit - funny you said that "just one" thinking messed up prior quits. I at times have a voice saying - keep trying while you can, but maybe this isn't really your final successful quit. Maybe this is just practice for the next one, which maybe will be more on my own terms. But I can't give up now - I feel I owe it to myself, my husband and my girls to do my best to be successful now. Still hanging strong! (Phil - I'm looking forward to Tuesday!) - Freemom [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/29/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 26 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 322 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $106.08 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 36 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57
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for 17 år siden 0 911 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Freemom! Hey, I can't say I am your type of (ex)smoker but my sister is. To her, and I think to you as well, cigarettes are nothing more than escape/me time. She associates it with time when nobody in the family knows where she is. She has escaped to her little island and has peace. So, think of it that way, and think of other ways that you could escape without lighting up, where you are alone and untouchable and at peace. Maybe the same places, but instead you read a poem or another chapter of a novel? Maybe I'm missing the mark, but you remind me of my sister. I think she could put down the cigs pretty easily if she didn't need the sanity time/space. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/16/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 38 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 778 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $106.4 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 58 [B]Seconds:[/B] 19
for 17 år siden 0 925 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Freemom, You've already gotten some really good advice from some very wise and wonderful people here and I hope you will consider everything they have said before you light up. You really have been doing an amazing job with a 25 day quit under your belt. I would'nt want to see you lose it because of the junkie thoughts. If you give in now, it wins and you lose...it really is that simple and I see you as a winner. I'm not wanting to lecture you sweetness, but please do not kid yourself, you are not really unique, or isolated, or different than any of us addicts here at SSC. Whether we smoke in closets or defiantly in the middle our driveways for the whole neighborhood to see, we are still just nicotine addicts and we all fight the same junkie thoughts when we quit. It's not easy raising children and even more challenging when they have special needs but it sounds like you are doing everything possible to give your kids a loving and stable home. I do understand how hard it is to raise children with your husband out of town a lot, as I was in those shoes for many years when my kids were small. Smoking is not going to help you cope with this, as you'll only be looking for a way to leave the kids alone so you can get your next fix. Maybe you can't see any benefits on the outside from your quit, but if you could see the inside, I'll bet your body is still healing from damage caused by even moderate smoking. If you start smoking again there is a long list of health problems you are playing russian roulette with, and the addiction will always be trying to get you to double your consumption. When I was your age I didn't smoke nearly as much as I did in later years and I'm sure many people will tell you the same story...the longer we smoke the more we need to smoke to keep our addiction happy. You and your husband have financial considerations like almost every single of us does. Will smoking help you save any money or make your husband stop giving you a rough time for buying even one more pack? The choice to NOT smoke is yours alone...the addiction's ONLY choice is to try to make you smoke. You are doing a great job with your quit and your addiction is making lots of noise on it's last legs trying to make you it's slave. If you
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for 17 år siden 0 932 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey FreeMom, Man, we do have a lot in common. Not only did I hide my smoking to a point but I have always been a people pleaser as well. Even to the point of obligating myself to do a favor that I KNEW I didn't want to do with every fiber of my body. Always trying to say the right things, do the right things, hide any problems I may have had, etc. It's tiring, isn't it? LOL Another thing we have in common is, and this is confession time for me, I don't think I quit smoking when I did for me. I know I wanted to quit but I'm afraid that I quit when I did for other reasons, my husband, finances, etc. Like you, I'm glad that I quit because I do see all of the benefits and I do want to stay smoke free. But at the same time, I fear that I'll fail because I'm afraid I didn't choose my quit date for MYSELF...a date that I was ready for and a date that I had totally prepared for on my own. I'm afraid that circumstances chose it for me and took the decision to quit out of MY hands. Here I am ending my 6th day and I've been worried about circumstances choosing my quit date rather than me taking charge and choosing it for myself. It's confusing too because that thought has been there for the last week. Confusing because I'm afraid I'll fail, afraid I wasn't ready, but all at the same time...... I'm glad I have quit and I don't want to go back to step one. Now that I know is my decision!! I think that's what we need to focus on. It's OUR decision to stay smoke free. Whatever the reasons were that either of us quit, let's not think about that but think about how WE WANT to stay quit. No one can take that away from us. Right? Hugs, Tutti PS Oh yea, the Rebel thing, that's another thing we have in common. LOL [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/18/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 7 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 385 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $19.53 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 49 [B]Seconds:[/B] 11
for 17 år siden 0 932 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Heya FreeMom, I hope you're doing a little better......NO, a lot better. You've been doing such a wonderful job. Listen, I'm just now closing out my 5th day of quitting so, I'm not going to pretend to know as much as the rest of the folks on this site. But, I've been quit long enough to recognize a craving and those sorry mind games. You said that you're not really having cravings. Then you said that your mind is playing games on you by telling you that you didn't smoke that much in the first place. Basically, your mind (the addict in you)is trying to con you into smoking. FreeMom,that is a craving. Your mind (the addict in you)is giving you all kinds of reasons to light up. You're under stress right now and you've been cooped up in the house for too long. You NEED to get out of the house and get some fresh air. Financial problems are a pain in the butt. You know what? After 27 years of marriage and 3 children, I've learned that those financial problems will work out. The kiddo's, you do need a break from them. You're only human so of course you need a break. You deserve a break. School break will be over before you know it but, until it is, make sure you have the kids on a schedule to insure that they're in bed early enough for you to have YOUR time alone. Then when hubby comes back from his trip, tell him that you need a break to maintain your quit. FreeMom, I started out as a closet smoker. I wasn't fooling anyone. The more cigarettes I smoked in that closet, the more smokes I wanted. Crap, I was spending a lot of time in the closet!!! I promise you, you will break free of that closet and start smoking more and more and more. Please don't give up on your quit. You're doing a wonderful job. Please vent all you want to and we'll answer back. I know I've been right where you are. Talk to me all you want and need to. Okay? Hang in there, please. I need you here with me too. Hugs, Tutti [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/18/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 5 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 328 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $13.95 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 10 [B]Seconds:[/B] 41
for 17 år siden 0 591 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
freemom... You don't know what bad is...until you go Cold-Turkey! count your blessings...they made Chantix auntdeb [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 54 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,717 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $256.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 42

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