Freemom: I'm so sorry I missed this post until now. I've been down with the flu and off the computer entirely. But in reading the entire post, I can see you got some wonderful and wise replies. Your last post tells me you are doing much better now and I'm grateful for that. You have such a great quit going -- we can't lose you now!! Please be extra gentle with yourself right now and I like Serenity's idea of finding something special and secret for yourself (biker chick? Hmmmm, tough to keep that one a secret!). Good for you for recognizing the crazy talk in your head for what it is -- the addiction. I don't care how secretly or how few cigarettes you smoked -- you're addicted as much as the rest of us. And the junkie in you is trying to convince you that you're able to handle it. WRONG! But you know that. Good to have you back. Hang in there. I'm proud of you for reaching out for help. That's not always an easy thing to do, but I think it really did help you. Keep the faith, my friend and shipmate. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 139 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,585 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1112 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 15 [B]Seconds:[/B] 32

freemom, you need to stay close right now and we need to hear you. I'll check for your post in the morning. I hope to see you when I post. OK on the count of three, I'm gonna open my eyes and see a response from you 1........2........3......... :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/29/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 56 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 570 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $280 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 48 [B]Seconds:[/B] 8

Oh Nic is very, very good. You already recognize this for what it is. And that is exactly what it is. Something else, it is about choices. Your rational mind has already made the sane decision to quit smoking. So, quit thinking about it. It is not up for discussion. period. Just do whatever you have to do to get through this point. Don't sink to the level of making it an argument. Your job right now is to do whatever you have to do to get through this rough spot. Don't rationalize it and don't put a tobacco stick in any part of your body. period. Every time you don't smoke - you get a point. Beef up your coping mechanisms. Distract, keep busy or keep low, get in touch with motivators, eat stuff, chew stuff -whatever! Just make it through. You are doing great. Soon you will look back and see that you have won this battle. You will be able to prove that you are the winner that we know you are today. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/29/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 56 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 568 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $280 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 29 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5

Freemom, How are you feeling today? I found 25-30 days to be a challenging time. I layed low during that time, perhaps indulging myself a little more than normal. And the one thing I kept telling myself....THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY!!!! Hang in there, Cheers, Jan [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/13/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 43 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,304 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $387 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 19 [B]Seconds:[/B] 34

Freemom NO NO NO NO! YOU WILL NOT THROW AWAY THE LAST 25 DAYS! Dose of willpower.. Big smile for Phil please! Soon be Tuesday ony a couple of days. me xxx [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 200 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,202 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �1050 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 40 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 29 [B]Seconds:[/B] 44

Freemom, there are others who can and have better advice for you than me about tackling a quit. But I'll tell you what comes through loud and clear to me from your posts. You're a hard-pressed mum, there might be a bit of resentment about that, and you're a little bit of a rebel. The you that you are (or have been) to the outside world, daughter, wife, mother etc. isn't ALL that there is to you and as a result of not expressing those other bits of who you are, you silently stuck two fingers up to all those people and went off to have your secret smoke. Well, that's my possible interpretation of the way you smoked. And although I was a much heavier smoker than you (latterly up to 30 a day) as a single mum and also a bit of a rebel in my time, I can identify with those other bits that come through to me about you. So, it seems to me there might be two aspects of your quit that you could address as you make progress. Firstly, rewards and freeing up resentments. How can you reward yourself every day, for doing your quit at the same time as being mum? What is going to be your "my time"? Also, can you delegate any of those responsibilities you feel in motherhood? Do you feel you're taking on too much of the parenting/housekeeping/organising stuff? If so, how can you change those things? Delegation is often the key to feeling better AND to getting some "me" time. And it's amazing who can help out. Even kids! Secondly, the rebel you. The secret smoker! Well hey, you ARE entitled to have something just for you. Something that you love. Something that says there's more to you than mum, wife, daughter etc. Something just for your secret self. What can you do to reward her, I mean REALLY reward her and bring her joy while acknowledging her identity is not solely defined by all those other roles? Seems to me that might be a possible key in giving you back that secret role. One of my mates freaked out and turned into a biker chic! lol. Her family think she's mad! She doesn't do it often but she has ALL the gear. gets the leathers on, revs the bike out and heads off to be that other side of herself. Works for her. Mine is music. I put my headphones on, ban the kids, close the curtains and for half an hour to an hour, I AM Madonna. Strutting my stuff and singi

Freemom, I totally identify with the people-pleasing thing. I'm 46 and only just recognised that I am one of those in the past few years. How sad is that?! lol. And I know how atrongly I viewed smoking as MY thing. I think you should get yourself a replacement very, very soon. Try loads of different stuff until you find what yours might be. (Right now, I am contemplating joining a local very lovely health club, to work on the pounds gained and to soothe my nerves in the very lovely pool and sauna.) If your hubby ever objects just say "Hey. It's instead of my smokes. You surely wouldn't rather I smoked would you?" and go for it. Hope you#re doing OK. S x [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/10/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 77 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,713 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �462 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 20 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10

Hey freemom Hang in there, you have just gone through (and are still going through) week 3. They say that the threes are significant. I remember when I got to three weeks, I couldnt understand why I had gone from being so strong, to feeling so weak and wanting to smoke again. I thought i was past all of that. Stick with it. Always say not today, maybe tomorrow. You will soon come to realise that tomorrow is another day. Using your breathing techniques to get you through the worst. I promise it will definately pass. Keep going and if it gets tough then post post and post again...... it really helps we are all here for you.

Lotsa good advice! I was never a closet smoker, except for a short few weeks in between quits. I was always an 'in your face' 3 pack a day 'nobody likes a quitter' smoker for 34 years! But stress I understand. I have, in my quits, discovered that stress is my BIGGEST trigger. It is for a lot of us. Just one smoke and it will all be better. Just one. Then I will quit again. The "just one's" thought sabatoged all of my previous failed quits. Dont' be fooled...... Be strong and keep the quit. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!! :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 169 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,490 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1352 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 17 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 31 [B]Seconds:[/B] 31

Freemom, I'm glad to hear you're doing better today. Try to take the time to really dig deep and figure out what you get out of smoking or why you smoke in the first place. Obviously, being a closet smoker, you weren't happy to be a smoker. So why did you do it besides the physical addiction? You're right. This addiction doesn't undo itself overnight. It takes time and practice. Keep persevering! Danielle _____________________ The SSC Support Team