Audrey,
Hang in there! I'm not quite sure that we ever "break through to the other side." We are addicts and always will be. We can break the addiction but the emotional/social webs, I think, will always be with us. Now, don't get me wrong, is it easier for me today not to smoke than it was 6 months ago? Yes! What used to be a 500 pound gorilla riding on my back is now just a mere gnat that buzzes in my face every now and then and is shooed away with a little wave of my hand. I do believe that when we quit smoking, we learn things about ourselves that we never dreamed of. Because when we were smoking, we muted our view of everything with a thin blue veil of smoke. Now that we are out there, living life head on, not hiding our feelings, we have a whole new self to deal with.
Don't get discouraged Audrey. Use this time to really dig deep and get to know the real you! Were you really happier when you smoked? I really don't believe you mean that! Maybe you mean you were comfortable? And confidence? You should be filled with pride and confidence! Look at that quit meter! You ARE doing this! And quite well I might add! When will it all come together? Well, when I was 20, I told myself that when I was 40, my whole life would "come together." Well, I must admit that I do have a good life but I still struggle with many of the same issues that I did all those years ago. Embrace where you are at! Enjoy what you have right this minute! Rejoice in the fact that you've not smoked in 149 days! You are doing this and you are awesome! Don't worry about the old you and don't go looking for the new you. Embrace the you that you are right now!
Hang in there Audrey! And remember, we're all in this together!
Hugs for you,
Debbie
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]10/26/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 231
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,620
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $866.25
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 22 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 53 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54
