After quitting cold turkey and going 135 days without a cigarette. I gave in to just one little Junkie thought on July 25,2007. The worse thing about it is I didn't have any excuse. I wasn't under any kind of stress. Happy as could be. Then at 4:00 pm in the afternoon. I had a junkie thought that one little puff wouldn't hurt.
I was at home alone. Well, I live alone so I'm usually alone at home. Before I tell you what happened. I will tell you what I should have done the very first day I quit. After 135 days, I still had cigarettes in the house. Most days I forgot they were even there.
I had a little over a pack left over when I quit. They were hid out of sight in the kitchen cabinet. A cabinet I never use. I walked into the kitchen to get a drink of water. I wasn't thinking about a cigarette. As soon as I finished the drink of water. A junkie thought came in my mind. Hey, your doing so good. It won't hurt to have one little puff. After all you've been quit for 135 days. One puff won't negate that.
For some strange reason I impulsively swung open the cabinet door and grabbed the pack that was still open. I had the date and time wrote on the outside of the pack. The last day I smoked was march 8th at 10:45 am.
I flipped the top open and grabbed a cigarette. I took 3 drags and quickly put it out. I felt a little guilty, but not much. The next day I didn't smoke a single cigarette. I didn't even crave one. Didn't even think about smoking. So, this led to another junkie thought. Since I hadn't craved or smoked a cigarette the next day after smoking 3 puffs from the night before. I thought. You know, I think I can smoke a cigarette every now and then...or just take puff or 2. And everything will be fine.
The day after that, which was July 27..I smoked 3 cigarettes. To make a long story short. I'm smoking every day now. The worse part about it is this. I don't feel guilty about it. This is sad to say, but I have more energy now and actually feel better.The entire 4 and a half months I was quit I didn't have any energy whatsoever. My energy has returned now.
My desire to quit wasn't and isn't more powerful than my desire to smoke. Will I ever quit again? I don't know. I know I'm not ready now.I'm wasn't serious about staying quit with my lack of energy. I did gain about 20 pounds when I quit. That could have been part of it I don't know.
I went to 3 doctors while I was quit and had tests done. They couldn't find anything wrong. Lungs were clear. Blood pressure normal and a pulse rate of 59 which is excellent. Would I have smoked if I hadn't had cigarettes in the house? Probably, because the store is 2 minutes away.
Well, my book is finished :) I'm happy where I am. I think all the wonderful people on here for all the valuable information and friendship. I'm going to miss posting those stats with the "March Mellows" What a terrific group, as all of you are.
I don't know when I will return here, if ever. I have to want to stop smoking before I or anyone can quit. I don't have the desire to quit now. Maybe later, Maybe not. Ya'll take care.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]3/8/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 150
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,750
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $570.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 24 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57
-
Quit Meter
$22,661.25
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 792
Hours: 12
Minutes: 59
Seconds: 39
Life Gained
-
Quit Meter
6043
Smoke Free Days
-
Quit Meter
120,860
Cigarettes Not Smoked
