hey Lil,
reading your words is like listening to myself few weeks ago. I have been suffering from panic attacks for few years. they started just afetr I started dating my husband. At the beginning I was too ashemed and scared to tell him about the attacks. so, I kept them secret , which wasn't easy. Finally, one day I decided that if I want to spend the rest of my life with this guy he needs to know what is going on with me. I told him everything, I even made him read everything about panic attacks. He was kind of surprise at the beginning cause he has never heard about panic attacks before but he started learning more and more about them. now he is my biggest support and i don't know how I would handle the attacks without him.
also, was horrified before our wedding. I could picture myself having a pnic attacks in front of the alter and then running away from the church. but nothing like that had happened. I had one Xanax between my flowers, just in case! it made me feel safer. also, having all people that I love around me, my family and friends make you feel better!
anyway, I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. I have been through the same things and I am oki! so, I hope you will have a beautiful wedding and your partnet will help ypou to deal with panic attacks.