Maybe I can reassure you a bit more. Like I said in my earlier message, my mum had schizphrenia, and that it was my biggest fear too. When I lived with my mum she would hear people in the next house talking about her, go for late night walks in her nightie, have delusions of grandeur, thought messages were coming through the switched off t.v set to her, very insecure, forgetful ( although that may have been the meds ) tried to harm herself and others, have no recollection of doing so. Thats schizphrenia, and you are nothing like that, are you ? You're not going mad either, anxiety / panic is an illness yes, but thats all it is. Its possible to recover, definately Right now its playing on your worst fears, and believe me I've been there, its horrible, but now I just know that its a condition that I have, that sometimes its okay, other times maybe not so good, where I can't see the wood for the trees, but please believe me when I say you're not going mad, nor the start of some terrible mental illness. Please read the book I suggested, it might help seeing it in black and white, written by an expert. Good luck, I wish you all the best.