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planning for being mean


for 14 år siden 0 1904 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Reiki, I was irritable for about the couple of months afte I quit smoking. I even fired my doctor, and I'm not so sure I would have had I not quit. But I'm sure she's over it. And I quit smoking.

My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 5/1/2009
Smoke-Free Days: 453
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 12,684
Amount Saved: $5,390.70
Life Gained:
Days: 50 Hrs: 23 Mins: 57 Seconds: 29

for 14 år siden 0 2606 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi reiki,
 

People in recovery do have ups and downs, and sometimes more downs than ups unless they adopt new ways of coping, none of which happen overnight.  We keep saying that quitting is a process. Anger may play an unexpected role for you in this process, and better coping skills need to be developed to deal with this also.  

When many smokers quit, they go through changes that require some unmasking.  Take anger, for instance:  As nicotine addicts, we might have swallowed our anger, or lit up/chewed rather than make a scene when something really irked us.  It might have been easier and less stressful than engaging in confrontation about some problem.  I'm confident that most smokers and dippers who were "put in their place" can remember exhaling the smoke slowly at some time or other to decompress.  They puffed or chewed away for dear life rather than say their piece and end up getting fired from a much-needed job, to offer one example, or be in an in-laws bad book forever, to name another.  

In such anger, a nicotine fix became the crutch, the comforter and the savior of sorts, and quite a coping mechanism!  (Or so we thought anyway.)

With the giving up (and loss from our lives) of that lifelong 'all-round friend' the cigarette, we literally go through mourning with all its stages, including the stage of sadness and anger.  Quitting is a major loss, both physically and psychologically, and in addiction, a quitter will naturally mourn that loss for a little while, until they freely accept the quit and adopt it, just letting go of smoking.

Take regular, planned timeouts for yourself.  Be realistic and honest: How often did you take a break to light up before?  20, 30 times a day?  More? For 5 or 10 minutes? That inner regular need for a break to change your thoughts or environment and decompress at regular intervals should not be abandoned altogether, now should it?  Pay close attention to this old existing need.  Substitute a breathing exercise or something relaxing and self-loving.  Set an alarm clock if you need reminding and keep resetting it. Listen to some music perhaps too, or just pick a form of *regular distraction and relaxation*, and do it for a couple of minutes each time.  If you take regular 'non-smoking decompression breaks, you may be pleasantly surprised at the results.

Finally, do check out the Coping with Stress section of Milestone 4 of the program. This section has really useful information on how to cope with stress and deep breathing. Take a look and start incorporating these tips into your routine.
 
Members, how has deep breathing helped you cope with stress throughout your quit?
 
 
Samantha, Health Educator
for 14 år siden 0 11 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
adding my quit meter
My Mileage:

My Quit Date: 7/27/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 1
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 12
Amount Saved: $3.90
Life Gained:
Days: 0 Hrs: 4 Mins: 34 Seconds: 6

for 14 år siden 0 11 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

I know that soon, I will end up snapping at somebody. Everytime I have quit (errr, ultimately tried to quit I guess) I say something mean to somebody else. Once, 3 or 4 days after quitting, I snapped at a friend. It was even all that bad, but it had a lasting effect on our friendship that took me several years to repair. This is my personal biggest hurdle to quitting smoking. I end up being mean to others. I say mean things. I am grouchy and pissy. Extremely argumentative and even hurl some insults. So, usually, after being mean once or twice, I start smoking again because I hate so so much how I treat others as a result of withdrawals. Would I rather not smoke cigarettes, or have friends like me? That is a hard decision. I love my friends. I don't want to lose them. But when I quit I feel like it'll just end  up pushing them further away because I invariably end up being an arsehole. What do I do? I am scared that it will happen soon. Is there any way to prevent the being mean? Okay, so, I be an a hole..then what? plus, everytime I quit and start smoking again, I disappoint my friends and loved ones. So, after the last time, I have been keeping my smoking top secret because I do not want to disappoint them. So, I can't really say, "oh, by the way, I quit smoking", becuase then they would be all like...."dude, I thought you quit already? WTF mike"


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