As I mentioned in earlier posts, I, too, have an obsessive compulsive personality (OCD). Keeping my mind entertained with various different thoughts as opposed to "the same old same old" is a real challenge. I noticed your last sentence a few posts down which reads "Looking for that higher power; how will I find it"? Very good question.
I thought I might add some food for thought. I do believe in God as the higher power needed to overcome alcoholism (see 12 steps of AA; STEPS 2 and 3 in particular) www.12steps.org/steps/the-12-steps.html. I do not believe in religion as man has worshiped and interpreted it over the ages and as he has used God's name in vain to commit terrible atrocities. End of my sermon. Here are two verses from the Bible which tell you (the location) of God...this higher power.
2 Timothy 1.14 (King James Version)
"...keep by the Holy Ghost which dwelleth in us."
Luke 17.20-21 (Weymouth New Testament)
"...the Kingdom of God does not so come that you can stealthily watch for it. Nor will they say 'See here!" 'See there!' - for the Kingdom of God is within you."
Thanks Ashley. My wife and I decided to stay home today. The weather was the reason she suggested it, but I immediately agreed because it will be easier for me at home, to refrain from drinking. Just finished some exercise. Will now look for some nice things I can do for my family, partly to distract me from thinking about drinking. Have been reading lots of stuff on this website, and started to read the Blue Book. I am an obsessive person -- hope to become as obsessive about not drinking as I am the opposite way! John
Sorry to hear you are having a hard time with withdrawal symptoms. Check out the Education section if you would like more information on them. . If you’re having
symptoms such as trembling or sweating you should see a health care
professional immediately. These symptoms could lead to convulsions or
hallucinations, the most severe effects of alcohol withdrawal.
Early on in a quit we encourage members to avoid high trigger situations. If you would normally drink at a BBQ then we would say to avoid the BBQ for now. A big part of quitting is changing your behaviour and finding new activities you enjoy that do not involve alcohol. This is a challenging yet important part of recovery. Is it possible for you to do something else this weekend? What are some weekend activities that would not be a trigger for you?
The first week can be a real bear. My sleeping was totally screwed for the first 3-4 days. I'd wake up multiple times per night and was sweating like crazy. Snapping at my family, no interest in much of anything. I took the time off from working and basically kept to myself and watched a lot of t.v. It passed though. I had quit on the Monday and by Saturday I was feeling better physically but I needed to be busy doing productive tasks like yard work, clean-up, etc to focus while I worked things out in my head. But it got better fast the following week. Now I sleep like a rock, better than I have in ages. I fall asleep at a reasonable time and sleep solid. My mood swings are pretty much non-existent and even when I'm faced with a bad situation I handle it objectively and don't freak out like I used to.
I guess my point is that it's really tough at the front end, as you are experiencing first hand, but it's going to get A LOT better. Hang tough John. You and I are in the same age bracket (I'll hot 50 shortly), and the drinking consistency was almost a mirror image, along with the home life. If I can do it you can definitely do it too.
Last night at bed time was awful -- headache, jumping out of my skin, couldn't sit still, snapping at my family -- took Tylenol and a sleeping pill and eventually got to sleep. Starting day four. Going to the place where I drink the most -- my boat -- and then to a BBQ. Always love drinking on rainy days and it's raining now. This is tiring! Looking for that higher power; how will I find it?
You may experience increased anxiety, irritability, and a general feeling like you're jumping out of your skin. I had that for about a week after I stopped drinking. If you start shaking, sweating excessively, experience nausea, get to a Dr. or an ER ASAP as those can be signs of a serious withdrawal. They can give you meds to help you withdraw safely. I've had two withdrawal seizures, so am very aware of just how dangerous withdrawal can be.