I've been married for almost 15 years now. We've been together for almost 17. I've had this for 12 years so my husband knows the panic me and the "sane" me. It has only been this last year that he's actually tried to understand. The only thing I can think of that's made the difference is because I found this website and was able to show him that this is what I'm going through, this is what I'm feeling every day. Now, when I tell him, I'm having a hard time right now and I just need some time alone to work through it, he will give me some space. Or, if I tell him I need to talk to him and need some support, he tries to be there even if it's just to give a hug or a "it'll be ok" or something like that. Before, he would lose his patience and tell me I was a hypochondriac, doing it to myself, wasting my life, losing it, etc.... etc.... etc.... I'm sure you've heard it all before.
One thing I also do when I'm feeling extra frustrated or if he's acting and saying things to me like he used to, I tell him, I know you can't possibly understand what I'm going through so all that I ask is that you pretend to.
I don't know if any of that helps. Have her read some of the stuff that's on here so she at least knows what you're feeling and going through. That seems to have helped me the most. Hope it helps you, too!