Hi Asi,

I am glad you are taking your doctor's advice. That is important. I'm sorry that you feel this counsellor set you back. I can read that you feel very discouraged about that. You are right, covid is a difficult topic for many people, especially people who have lost loved ones to covid. We are living in strange times.

If you have trauma in your history, I think having a trauma-informed counsellor is essential. It is so important to find a counsellor who is a good fit with you. This may take a few tries. I urge you not to give up. The right counsellor can make a world of a difference.

Where have you looked for a counsellor? The link I provided below might help you find a local counsellor that is better suited to your needs

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/counsellors

Please let us know if you decide to keep looking. I enjoy reading from you.

Take care,

Ashley

Hi, once we are recovering from covid we cant get vacinate, its considered 6 month recovery process, just after that period we can take vacination. Aso my doctor said the best imunity we can get is from covid infection, that is superior to vacination, so me and other are much more protected. Also I work and live alone, we can not compare with someone who work in public, like theraphyst, teachers or persons who deal with public or have children in school, in this case vacination in relevant.

Vacination its a chalenging topic, since are persons who died after get vacination or developed other problems. Someone who experienced trauma know bad things can happen, its a real possibility.

Thats why IM giving up on one to one theraphy, because IM not finding a trauma specialists, that dont scare me on theraphy, that have knowledge how to create a safety environment, that are able to give me tools for self regulation instead of instigating me fear.

If we are recovering from a serious decise like covid, the last thing we want to hear is that I could die or develop serious decises in long term like this therapist told me. After this session in the next days I started to feel lack of breath, I though I migh be developing some kind of pulmonar fibrose and my panick attacks were re-starting.

Hi Asi,

I am sorry to hear that you got Covid but I am happy to hear your symptoms were mild. If you are concerned about your health at all you should talk to your doctor about their opinion on vaccination. To my understanding, we know that the vaccine does decrease our chances of getting severe covid. With this in mind, I don't think what your therapist said was intentionally hurtful. I think they likely believe vaccination is important for you, and for other people around you. Sometimes honesty is kinder than keeping thoughts to yourself. She may be worried about you being unvaccinated. You can disregard her opinion if you wish. Disagreeing with someone does not make them all bad, of course.

Ashley

Hi Ashley, I decided to give a second try to this theraphyst.

I had covid 10 days ago with mild symptoms, I shared with her, and sadly I've got a weird response. She told me, "you're ok now, it seams you have a strong immunity system, we will see how it will be in the future."

I got a bit confused, I wasn't able to ask what she mean by that. But later she repeated the same argument.

It seams she was mentioning this because I don't get the vaccine I could have problems in the future, this is my assumption.

This let me worried about my health, I was feeling so unworried, relief and good that I escaped harsh symptoms, now I'm constantly worried. Also disappointed again because I trusted this theraphyst for a while.

I wish this was a mistunderstood from me, but it's the second time something a bit serious happen.

Hi asi,

Thanks for your thoughtful response. I think writing down reminders and positive mantras can be very helpful. Go for it!

I am sorry to hear you are finding one-on-one therapy unhelpful. You might want to consider trying a new therapist or talk to your therapist about intended goals of treatment. Perhaps your therapist isn't s good fit for you or your treatment plan needs a bit with tweeking.

I had a good weekend, thanks. Have a good week!

Ashley

Hi Ashley, thank you for your thoughts. You made me remember one time I decided to not cut off a person, after being disappointed like this, and that maked me feel empowered at that time. Although it was a very toxic relationship, not having resentment around that person maked me felt light, with full of life. I remember I started saying more jokes and making my family laugh with me, because this was changing my mood in other aspects of my life.

At the end in this particular toxic relationship I should have ended because at the end I payed a big price because I neglect my health.

But in cases we aren't at risk, I think you are right, not cutting relationships based on disappointements is kind of liberating because we don't carry hard resentments that put us in a constant mood of sadness, I think that's what happens to me.

Do you know when I was young around 19 years some guy decided to tell a lie that we had intimate relations, and my friends told me I had a risk to get pregnant (I was new years eve night, I drinked for the first time, so I put on hipóteses if the guy was right and may be I didn't remembered) , so it was my friends who scared me.

We were a group of close friends, around 5 girls, and no one called me to know if I was alright, or if I really got pregnant after this event.

I cuted relationship with all of them, for the first time, because of my disappointed of no one cared about me or how I was, or if I really got pregnant or not, no one called me to know how I was. (And it was a lie from the guy, but my group female friends didn't knew).

Facing this harsh reality at young age, that people don't care about each other, makes me decide to cut with everybody that disapoints me, but this decision are making me very alone, because that reality keep showing with every new relationship I have.

Yes you are right, I'm putting in black and white, may be I have to write this on a papper to carry on my bag "nobody is totally good or bad" for me not forget, I think this will totally change my perception of my daily life.

Have a nice weekend Ashley.

Note: I think this little talk with you valued more than the last whole 8 therapy sessions I started recently. Unfortunately I'm not finding any help with the one to one therapy Ive been trying.

Hi asi,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. It can be very invalidating and upsetting when someone misunderstands us. It is normal to feel a bit let down. Cutting someone off completely due to one misunderstanding does sound a little like black and white thinking though. No person is either all good or all bad. Usually everything and everyone is in the grey area.

It is common to idealize a person when just getting to know them. The thing is, nobody is perfect and humans often make mistakes, especially in socially sensitive situations. Expect to be disappointed sometimes in relationships. Talking about misunderstandings can be uncomfortable but it can also strengthen the relationship. Feeling less admiration doesn't need to mean you cut them off.

What are your thoughts on all this? Do you find you sometimes use black and white thinking with people?

I hope you had a good week!

Take care,

Ashley

Hi, I shared with my theraphyst that I had a health problem 2 years ago because of a wrong procedure a dentist did to my teeth that got me into 6 months of chronic pain. Recently after 1 year I got again 3 months of chronic pain, witch is something debilitating.

My theraphyst showed me she didnt believed in me, she wasnt direct, but she said "oh our teeth change and bring problems as we got old". I was prepared and replied "2 years ago I enter doctor office with my teeth all right and got our of their with my teeth damaged", so she changed imediatly her teory as she saw it was better to not continue with that perspective.

I loose admiration for her, because IM not a person who lies. This happen constantly with me, I loose admiration for people and I have to cut conections, witch leaves me very alone. Everybody disapointed me at some point ;/

I dont know if IM doing something wrong, may be better just to look for superficial conections were its more dificult for us to be disapointed may be.