Hello everyone, i am in desperate need of advice.
I have always been an anxious person, but have never acknowledged it.
I suffered my first panic attack whilst in a relationship a few weeks ago... we had only been seeing each other a couple of weeks, i didnt know it was a panic attack until now.
I was really happy with the relationship, then I found out he had lied to me about a couple of things, which obviously "set-off" my anxiety within. After the lies "surfaced", I still hadnt had any more panic attacks. Alot of people who are close to me advised me to give him the flick, and criticised him (to me), and then I started doubting the whole thing, wondering if it was worth persuing when things had got off to such a poor start. I also couldnt bare the thought of being with someone everyone else didnt approve of.
When he came to see me for the last time, everything was fine, until it was time for him to go. I had this rush feeling that i couldnt be with him anymore. So i ended the relationship the next day. Within a week i had visited my doctor, who said i was depressed, id had uncontrollable thoughts about him, so one night, i just drove all the way (2.5 hours) to see him, i dont remember the trip, i walked up and down the beach, then tried to drive back home. For the next 3 days, i suffered panic attacks one after the other, felt like my soul had been taken away, and felt out of control. My GP thinks that deep down, i didnt want the relationship to end, but i was panicky and anxious about other people's opinions etc.
We had only been seeing each other for 8 weeks.
What i am trying to find out is,
Is it possible that people who suffer from Depression, Anxiety and/or Panic, have such lack of self-worth, they are unable to have a decent relationship?
all i can think about is him, all the fun times we had, and why i had the "breakdown".
Im so worried that i will never be happy, because i shouldnt have had such high expectancies of a relationship that had only just started.
Part of me wants to try again, but the other part is wondering what made me "tick" in the first place. I was so happy.
AAAAAAAARGH any opinions?!