Debbie, I haven't heard from you in a while and I was wondering how everything is going. The last time you were ready to go to the ER and you were feeling really bad. I hope that you are doing much better. Please check in and let me know how everything is going. You've been in my thoughts and prayers so I hope you are feeling better physically and emotionally. Let me know either way :)

Hi Debbie, Sorry to hear that you are not well, whilst I am no doctor I read not long ago that the best treatment for anxiety/depression is the treatment you want. I hope you have had a proper blood test etc to be sure it is just chronic anxiety. Perhaps, the next step is to decide whether you wish to take the associated risks and side effects by going on medications. You sound like you obviously don't want to try the medications, so perhaps find a doctor who is skilled in CBT to help you along with the assistance of this programme. And follow some of the great tips by Beth ie breathing, positive thinking etc. Debbie I'm new to this group/program- I know how it feels to fear the side effects of medications and yet somehow feel obliged to listen to our doctors. Again I am no doctor but I recently read in a scientific journal that had mentioned that not everyone benefits from anti-depressants . The ones who don't apparently don't have a certain gene. After reading that article I decided to listen to what treatment I wanted and also practised more positive thinking etc. and recently came to discover this panic centre. I know this is silly, but I have a fear of death as well like you but I rationalised with myself this, there is a risk that if I didn't take medications, I could die from anxiety, but it is a risk I am going to take. Let's face it going on medications would not guarantee us immortality. We have to realise life is full of risks and when our thought processes get out of control, we need to control our thoughts, its our thoughts and the constant what if's that is driving our anxiety levels up. By the way anxiety can cause high blood pressure readings, that is a normal response. I had the same problem and my cardiologist explained this to me and told me not to worry. I hope you will find a doctor who can help you with a treatment that is suitable to your needs. Take care . :)

Hi Debbi, I am sorry I have been away for so long but I had no internet service for over a week. I just got back online and came in to see how you were doing and I see that you are still having a heck of a time and I am so sorry to read this. :( Ok- my first thought right off the top of my head after reading your posts is that you are fearful and scared. That right there sparks anxiety and also fuels it. Bottom line Debbi if you can work on turning the tables a bit so that YOU are IN CONTROL of your fears as opposed to YOUR FEARS being in control of YOU, you WILL FEEL BETTER. Even though real physical situations are happening, we can still be in control of OUR REACTIONS TO THEM. Please remember - Situations are 10% the situation and 90% HOW WE REACT TO THEM. So, if we over-react to a situation, of course the anxiety will pile up. If we react calmly to a situation, the anxiety will not play as big a part in the grand scheme of things. :) Example: You feel dizzy First anxious thought might be " Oh my God!! Whats happening to me!?" "I could be having a stroke!" Controlled calm reaction: "Ok, I am taking new meds and the doc said there may be some dizziness. I dont like this feeling so I will ride it out and when I feel better, I will call her and tell her I dont like feeling this way and is there something else we can do that doesnt include these side effects.." "It doesnt feel good right now, but I know what it is and I will be alright." See? There is a huge difference when we react a certain way and this is where you can gain back control of your responses to situations. :) I also noticed (and this happens with me a lot too when I am anxious) that your thought process is going really really fast. Like super speed fast. Please try and SLOW DOWN YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS. Even if for a minute you sit down, close your eyes and focus on something that brings you calm and great happiness or even makes you laugh! May sound stupid, but I have this pot bellied pig that I rescued and whenever I go into the barn and say ""Hi Homer!" he wags his tail at me and snorts. I get such a big kick out of him so he is my "good visual" that I use when I need to SLOW THE HECK DOWN. :) Once again, it is about TAKING CONTROL OF THE SITUATION and NOT ALLOWING the

Debbi, Vent away, that's what we are here for! You may want to consider a visit or a call to your doctor. Talk to him about the side effects you are experiencing so that he/she may advise you on the best course of action to take. Feel better soon. Danielle _______________________ The PC Support Team

Debbi, I really dont know how to ease your fears but if you feel that bad then maybe you could speak with your nurse or maybe go to the ER. I am not a doctor so I can't say that you are fine and it is just your anxiety. I can tell you that I have been there and have felt awful and it was all my anxiety. It really can make you feel physically sick and your negative thoughts that something must be wrong can make the physical symptoms worse. I will continue to pray for you. Just try to calm down and relax and know that you will survive like you always have. Phr00t and I are on the buddies messenger thing all the time if you need someone to talk to. Keep me posted and I hope you feel better :)

Hi Isabella, Thank you so much it helps to have someone who understands. I went to bed last night in such peace and prayer and now the nighmare is back today, my husband is home and I think he is shocked, alot of times he is at work so he does not see how bad I get. I woke this morning with really blurred vision, I thought I was losing my vision, I went into an attack, then I got very naucous as I still am, I feel like I have to vomit but so do not want to because that will start another attack, my body aches so much, I slept 7 hours you would think I would feel alright and rested. I find it so hard to believe the anxiety and depression can make me feel so horrid, I actually feel like I am dying, the headache, vision, nausea and exhaustion are too bad to be anxiety, I hope I do not have that "andreanal failure" that is caused by months and months of constant stress and panic, they say it cannot kill you, but its done something very bad to my body, its like I am dying my body ready to give out, I am so scared Isabella, I just want to run to the ER or call the paramedics, I have done that before and they did very little, I just took a quarter of a Klonpin to stop shaking, but I feel so naucous and my head hurts, then I start thinking "stoke" I cannot understand how I went to bed in such peace and prayer and feeling alright to this sickness and fear, the bodily symptoms everyday are causing the panic and fear I know, I am so ready to throw the lexapro out, its been almost 2 weeks and I feel no better, even a little worse, than when I started, I am so afraid I will die and have my son find me, that is my scary thought. I do not mean to vent. I hope I can live through this day, I just so want the paramedics to tell me everything is alright, if I call them my husband will get so very very angry, I will embarass myself in front of the neighborhood and then they ask questions, I do not want it to hurt my son, and have the other parents and kids shun him, thank you so much for your prayers Isabella, I think I need them now more than ever, did you ever feel so achy and exhausted all the time? like you were dying? God bless you, and thank you, Debbi

Debbie, I am sorry to hear that you are so sick. Hopefully you are doing better today. In response to your previous post, your high blood pressure was probably high as a result of your panic and anxiety. It should return back to normal once you feel calm but I am only 23 years old and have high blood pressure now which they think is partly caused by excessive anxiety. I am sure yours isn't a cause for concern yet and I am sure it isn't caused from the lexapro. So try to stop worrying about that because it will only cause you more anxiety which will in turn only raise your blood pressure. As far as embarassing yourself in front of your neighbor, take a deep breath in, exhale, and let it go. She will forget all about it soon enough and it always seems worse than it actually is. In regards to feeling worse before you feel better on the lexapro, that is always a possibility because it can take 4 to 6 weeks before it starts working. You are on such a low dose, 2.5mg right?, that I highly doubt is going to be very therapeutic, atleast not right away. And the headaches and nausea are probably not from the lexapro either. I think this because I went through several months where I was nauseous daily and had horrible headaches. I have learned that anxiety, worrying, panic, all that upsets your stomach and causes nausea and even vomiting in severe cases. Also, us worriers are chronically tense which, in turn, can cause tension headaches. Try some progressive muscle relaxation or atleast relax the muscles in your shoulders, neck and face. That has helped with my tension headaches. I am not dismissing the fact that you feel bad and their may be a medical cause for that but, speaking from experience, anxiety is probably the culprit here. Worrying only makes things worse and I know how hard it is to break the cycle but challenge your anxious thoughts, maybe write them down, and then try to write a rational response next to them like Beth told you to do. Most of all, believe you are getting better, believe that the medicine is working, believe in yourself. I will say a prayer for you in hopes that you can take back control and get better for your son. Also, stay busy, try to keep your mind on something else. If you are a stay at home mom, like me, then y

Thank you so much Isabella and Pennie. I would of wrote back sooner, the lexapro is very hard on me, today was very rough, yesterday I had some sort of virus and ached all over, I slept 10 hours but woke with a horrible headache pounding the left side of my head, and my left eye, I thought I was having a stroke. I tried to drink 1/2 glass of juice and a weak cup of coffee, then vomited non-stop like I ate 10 tacos! Not a good morning, it kind if ruined the day, I had a terrible panic attack ran over to my neighbors to use her blood pressure machine, it was 159/115!! I thought I was certainly having a stroke, it went down to 148/94 but I was so shaken, I dont normally have high blood pressure, I hope the lexapro is not causing it. I made a terrible fool of myself in front of my neighbor, I am just so humiliated at myself, she was very nice, I apologized, but feel so embarssed, I try to hide this from all the neighbors. Is is typical to feel worse before better on a antidepressant? I was told LExapro was more mild than most, with these headaches and nausea I dont think so, and now I am scared to go back to my nurse because she wanted me to go on "Anafrail" a tricylic antidepressant, which everywhere I read it interacts with a SSRI, I am so afraid that combination would kill me, a Trycylic with a SSRI is not good, I am just praying the Lexapro is working, I am on such a low-dose 2.5 I dread bumping up, will the side effects be worse?? I am praying that I can get better, the last four months I have been sick everyday, I am in shock this came back, I am not a bad person, I feel like I am being punished, I pray everynight for relief, I have a special-needs son to care for and I cannot afford to be like this, I love my son so much and I know in my heart if there was anyway in the world to get better I would do it, for my son, thats the worst part that he has lost his Mother, and my husband is not very happy that this came back, he blames me which only makes me feel worse. Thank you all for listening, I am praying for all of you, if you would please pray for me, I am trying so hard, I talked to my therapist today, it did not do to much good, she wants me to go out and enjoy life and do things, but till I get the panic under control I cannot be seen, also I have

Debbie, so sorry to hear that you are having this again. I was so happy to read befor when things were finally going well for you. I was just wondering have you ever done a search for depression,anxiety and magnesuium? there seems to be some pretty interesting research out there about magnesuim. I just thought this might be something for you to look at. Penny

Debbi, It is perfectly fine to whine and vent all that you want ;). I want to say that I am with you on the older tricyclic antidepressant because I wouldn't want to take it either. What you should do is be perfectly honest with your nurse practitioner. Let her know your concerns and tell her that you don't want to take something that will cause you more anxiety, as well as even more side effects and possibly dangerous side effects. I am the same way, just starting lexapro though, and I get medications and then I read and decide it is not for me. You just must remain active and strong and believe that you will get better. I firmly believe that i am on my way to being anxiety free. I know it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but it is there and you can get better. However, no amount of reassurance is going to change the way you feel. My doctors tell me I am healthy and perfectly fine, other than anxiety, but sometimes I worry they missed something or they're wrong based on how I feel. But anxiety takes on many forms and can distort our perceptions of many things. Only you have the power to change that. Along with medicines, therapy, social support, and your own will, you can beat this and get better for your son. We all have our days and sometimes weeks. You are not alone and you have to believe that you will recover from this. You did it before and you will do it again. Don't let it overcome because you DO have control. Be strong and smile for a minute, it helps :).