Thank you so much Danielle and Beth. I appreciate your help and support. You are right Danielle, i will try to focus on the facts that you gave me. Beth, you are wonderful. thanks for always taking the time to help out others with your great posts. I just printed out the 5 step procedure and hopefully I can actually succeed at this. Im starting to think better abotu the sleep apnea. The fear is begining to wear down a bit. So i will leave it for the doc to take care of. There is really nothing I can do now. I have to admit something though. There is an unexplainable feeling I am experiencing and i think its depression. I hate even sayin that stupid word, But I do feel depressed at times. right now, i'm sitting in this chair typing, and i feel bothered for no reason at all. I just feel like crying. I feel so down, and upset for no reason. I'm soooo moody and irritable...its unbelievable....this is not me at all. But its almost like I cannot control this depressing feeling. I have everything in the world........but I still feel bothered. Is this normal? I'm so scared of this feeling and these silly negative thoughts. I just feel so much negative energy around me right now, its like I cant get of out it. I would say about 4 months ago, i was way better than this. I was stronger, more on top of my anxiety, I was more positive, i believed in myself more, and I was not thatttt scared of life. But now, its almost like the whole world came crashing down on me. I feel so down, and bothered. I really cannot explain it. And its almost like i'm sick and tired of trying to take contrl of these negative thoughts. I feel like i'm working sooooo hard, and i'm just getting exhausted from trying again and again and again. Does anyone else feel this way? Or should I be feeling motivated to think positive? Let me know what yotu hink. thanks a bunch

Angel, Stop googling! Walk away from the computer and distract yourself or utilize your relaxation techniques for a little while. If you still feel anxious, don't feed into it. Start challenging your anxious thoughts. Ex: I have sleep apnea. Challenging thought: Sleep apnea only occurs in 2-10% of the population. I do not smoke, drink or are overweight, my chances of having developped sleep apnea are less. Ex: I'm going to stop breathing in my sleep and die. Ex: Sleep apnea is the temporary blockage of breathing, however those who suffer from sleep apnea are frequently awakened at night by their bodies recognizing and reacting to that obstruction. If you think you may have sleep apnea, keep your appointment and consult your doctor to be on the safe side. Until then, challenge those anxious thoughts and keep close. We will help you through. Hope this helps. Danielle _____________________ The PC Support Team

Hi Angel, OK- your thoughts are in a spiral right now. I have been there and know how you feel but only YOU can stop them. I have Faith in YOU and YOUR ABILITY RIGHT NOW AS YOU ARE READING THIS SENTENCE to STOP TAKE A BREATH IN THROUGH YOUR NOSE and read this as you breath in one one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand, four one thousand, five one thousand, SIX BREATH OUT SLOWLY THROUGH YOUR MOUTH one one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand, four one thousand, five one thousand, SIX Now, do this again. I'll do it with you BREATH IN THROUGH YOUR NOSE one one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand, four one thousand, five one thousand, SIX BREATH OUT THROUGH YOUR MOUTH one one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand, four one thousand, five one thousand, SIX Right now your pulse should be lowering and your thoughts are not on negative thinking but reading my post. You have gone at least 30 seconds this very minute without a negative thought. :) Re-read the last paragraph over and over again until you can get your thoughts and breathing to slow down. Do you have a rubber band? If so, take it and put it on your wrist. Everytime you have an intrusive or negative thought snap it. Try this and let me know if it helps: Recognize - Recognizing that you are having a negative thought is a critical first step in learning to control negative thoughts. Consciously increasing your awareness and vigilance with regard to negative thinking will aid in the recognition and control of counter-productive and self-destructive thinking. You must be "on guard" to recognize the first signs of negative thinking in order to crush that thought before it has a chance to fully form and strongly take hold of your conscious mind. Refuse - You must refuse to allow the negative thought to continue and gain strength by some positive and defined action (e.g. visualize a STOP sign in your mind's eye; snap a rubber band across your wrist every time you have a negative thought; etc.). You must do something to disrupt the negative image and/or thought in order to prevent it from growing stronger. By doing this, you begin the process of shifting your mind away from the negative thought. Relax - Use any of a number of tec

Hi Beth, thank you for your post. I hope your Thanksgiving went really well. I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm just so terrified right now. I am definately going to see my doctor but in 2 weeks. In the meantime, i'm freaking out. Even just going to do a sleeping study/test freaks me out. I just want to escape this instead of face it. Its like i'm diagnosing myself without even seeing the doctor. Luckily though I hate drinking alcohol (so thats no problem); I do not smoke; I am definately not overweight; and I will try to sleep more on my side (even though I usually do). Tahnks for the tips! I just am losing so much control right now. Its like i'm depending on others to help me instead of helping myself.....and thats when I know i feel the worst, cause i dont' feel in control or strong. I just dont believe in myself right now. My fear is definately taking over me. Right now I feel the muscles in my throat are getting so big or somethign.......i feel like they will block my breathing. I keep thinking these stupid things and actually feel them. And believe it or not, i'm still googling about sleep apnea.....guess what i found......."apnea can lead to premature DEATH". I cannot believe this. I cannot believe this at all. This is why i'm freaking out right now. My breathing is so heavy right now, I just want to cry. Why cant i just be normal and deal with situations in a calm/normal way?

Hi Angel :) I am sorry you were having such a hard time yesterday. :( I would have written to you but I was having turkey day stress and dealing with all that went along with it. I do know that you can request a sleep study when you go to your doc. If he/she ok's it, you go into your nearest sleep study facility (usually in your local hospital) at night, they hook you up and watch you sleep. It is a thorough study and will give your doc a lot of insight as to what may be going on if anything at all. I think these test however are pretty expensive but if you have insurance, it should be covered. If not, I know that hospitals and sleep study centers do payment plans so either way, if needed and ordered by your doctor, you should be able to get it done. If you do have sleep apnea, they have CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) machines which simply put is an oxygen mask that you use while you sleep to aid in getting oxygen to your system by keeping your airway open. It is used with sterile water humidified so your nose doesnt get dry. It is rather bulky but does work and really controls sleep apnea. To put your mind at ease before you see your doc, at your age you shouldnt have (if you have it at all) bad enough apnea to stop your breathing, have a heart attack, die in your sleep or stroke. I believe these effects contributing to apnea come from years and years and years of undiagnosed or non treated upper airway issues (excessive snoring over a long period of years) and other related medical issues such as COPD (Chronic Obstuctive Airway Disease) CHF (Congestive Heart Failure), Asthma, CAD (Coronary Artery Disease) and other such illnesses that crop up LATER ON IN LIFE AND OVER TIME. In the time between now and when you see your doc, there are things you can do yourself if you feel you may have this and want to take some control of the situation: Stop all use of alcohol or sleep medicines. These relax the muscles in the back of your throat, making it harder for you to breathe. If you smoke, quit smoking. If you are overweight, lose weight. Sleep on your side instead of on your back. I went through this with my ex husband and it wasnt as scary or bad as the literature out there makes it out to be thats why I wanted to write to

Hey Isabella! thanks for your re-assurance. yes you did freak me out haha. Its ok, its not you, its ME. I have a tendency to google things and freak myself out cause I relate to many signs of many things. But of course, it could just be all part of anxiety. I will ask my doctor when i see him in 2 weeks. Your very sweet to have cared like this! Thanks. And yes we did post at the same time! I noticed that we are usually online at the same time. Do you have CBT buddies? You should 'launch' it or log on

How weird!! We posted at the same time!!

Angel, Happy Thanksgiving!! I am sooo sorry. I didn't mean to scare you and I wouldn't worry about it yet. I'm sure the heart attacks and strokes come from years of having sleep apnea. My fiance's father has suffered from it for a long,long time and refuses to get it treated because he hates doctors and he is still alive (also slightly overweight, a smoker, etc.) so he has a better chance of the negative effects than you (unfortunately). I would just mention it to your doctor but you must also understand that depression and anxiety can lead to fatigue, irritability, and other symptoms that can be associated with a number of diseases. Snoring is also a major indicator so if you don't snore you have lessened your chances of having it!! That is good news, right? If you are still really worried maybe have ur b-friend/husband listen to you while you sleep so that they can see if you stop breathing for a certain period of time (kind of crazy to ask but if you can talk them into it to ease your fears then go for it ;)) Hope this helps and let me know how things go. Sorry for making you fear something that is only a small possibility because it is most likely our anxiety like it always is :)

can anybody respond??? :confuse:

Hi Beth, Thanks for the positive thoughts. I will really try to work on it. However, I'm having a very difficult time today at work. I'm going to type fast because I cant really get caught on here! Anyways, Isabella you told me of SLEEP APNEA....well never heard of it so of course i googled it. I'M TERRIFIED...it said its serious and it may lead to heart attack or stroke etc. I have a lot of the signs of it (except for the snoring and overweight part of it). But i'm very moody, irritable, tired etc. I'm at work and almost leading into a panic. I'm horrified. I need some thoughts here. Yes, i made an appoitnment with my doctor. But i cant wait till that long. Can i die from this? i'm just freaking out here. gotta go will check back later