Hello Breanne,
Thank you so much for the support and encouragement!
Hiya Miki,
Aww, thank you so much hun for your lovely reply. Hugs, that made me feel all warm and fuzzy!
Hello Gene,
Thank you so much for your reply. I appreciate you sharing your experience with me! thank you for the lovely reflections and for the encouragement. It means a lot to me.
Well, I have been exhausted and I mean sleeping 12-14 hours a day exhausted for a few days. I find myself having crying fits here and there. I miss Oscar terribly. But I have been endeavouring to squeeze every little bit of happiness out of everyday as much as I could. Oscar would like that. He was such a happy cat.
I spent a lot of time with my husband who has been incredibly sweet to me. We have called a truce lately. It has been nice. He is very supportive of me lately. He stil plays a gazillion hours of video games everyday but he manages to give me attention and take care of me, so it is less annoying.
I had an episode on Sunday and felt the need to carry Oscar's urn to bed. I was panikcing and crying and my husband said it was ok. He said we will go shopping for a locket tomorrow to keep a picture of Oscar close to me all the time. I am thinking of putting some fur or ashes in also, not sure yet...
It really hits me hard sometimes. But I did want to say that I have also had good moments and am forseeing that I will be ok. I will post in the my latest success threads about this later.
As for the more anxious side of things, I have been managing to do well enough. Been having some major lumpthroat and dizzy spells since yesterday. When I find myself lifting my head to make room in my throat I remember the lumpthraot thread and it helps me keep things in perspective and kinda makes me chuckle. Also get some tension pains in the back and chest area. The chest pains always scare me a bit but I am challenging my thoughts and getting over it
Am in a weird vicious cycle where I feel sad and anxious during the day so I sleep all day then I feel anxious that I wasted my day and that I did not get anything done and I end up not sleeping well til earlyt in the morning so I get up late...Well sure you see where I am going with this. I think me being so sad is not helping either.
Another vicious cycle is the binge eating. I feel sad so I eat my feelings. I eat too much, then I feel anxious and can't breathe properly. Then it makes me sad. Then I eat.... Bleurgh!
I will get a handle on it though I always do.
I know I just spent three pages venting in this particular post but I did want to say that I am ok. I just had a really tough moment missing my cat not too long ago but I really am going to be ok. I just have to accept things as they are and give myself time. I know how to deal with this.
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent some more.