Miki,
Great that you've made a doc's apt. In the mean time get plenty of rest and don't over work yourself. Your health is number 1.
Sylvie, Bilingual Health Educator
That would be great if it sounds like that, but seriously, physically, I am not doing good at all! I haven't felt so dizzy!!! My ears are burning up and my cheek bone and my back teeth hurts. Does this happen to anyone else? The place right before my ear is so sore and I feel like my eyes are going cross eyed all the time!!! I'm so exhausted and I have a hard time standing straight cuz I feel like I'll fall back.
Made a doc's appointment for Monday, but I just want to go home to my family already.
You know Miki, you're getting more defiant with each post. It's almost as if you're starting to believe in yourself again...like the anxiety is playing less of a role in the situation...could it be? You're definitely coming around the bend from a dark place, into a bright one. And talk about a loving family...great support there too!
I think you're right about school, too. You have bigger, life changing things you have to tackle. When you take care of that, you could always go back, and you'll be able to concentrate on your classes.
Just talked to my mom and she's furious... my whole family is. She thinks he wont change until I show him that he can't take advantage of me anymore. I totally agree with her... and we would have been broken up looong ago, if we weren't on paper. I want him to change because as a human being, I don't think his behavior is acceptable. I know he's a good person somewhere in there, but he's not letting it out. Maybe he can't control his anger, and I think that I just make his anger worse. I care about him a lot and I think he wont grow if he's with me. And I am tired... I need some support myself. I might just give in. My goal is just to try stick around til the weekend.
Plus, I didn't go to school today again. I am totally behind and I don't feel like going anymore. I feel a bit guilty about it, but I think right now is not the time for me to go to school yet.
Diva, thanks so much for the thoughts. I hope not to write in this thread no longer.. I have graduated from that stage, and yes, reborn again. Today it's been good. Was able to ignore him and have done things on my own.
I notice how there seems to be a lot of confused spouses out there, for us who have anxiety. But I feel grateful for it now, because I can see how much I've been relying on this "significant other"... The most important lesson I learned is to be strong on my own from all this and it really shows the true side of that person I thought was someone else. Everything just keeps getting clearer and clearer.
I was so sad to read how you are having so much trouble with this still. I think you are so strong and brave through all of this. Please don't ever fel bad for posting here. As you can see we all care for you and support you. I think you got so much good advice there really is very little to add. But I did want to say I think you focusing on yourself and taking care of yourself and seeing where this goes really is the best thing you can do. You so deserve the attention ! Anyway, please keep us posted on how you are doing. You are in my thoughts, hun.
Hey Cornish Dee and Joe and everyone else, thanks so much for your love again and again.
I think I am going to move on now. I will treat him like how he treats me, and just ignore him, well, not intentionally but be busy with myself. Since we got the apartment, I will just stay here and try my best to pretend that he's not here... my family is getting pretty worked up about this and they are ready to drop a bomb on him. Heheh... I can feel the LOVE! Anyways, I have success stories, so I will post the rest there. Thanks you alll again for reading and supporting. Big big big hugs.
! Anyway, please keep us posted on how you are doing. You are in my thoughts, hun.
Happy b-day to the new you! 
