Recovery,
I was reading through the forum and happened to stumble across your original posting. My situation is a little different from yours: I have never had a fear of flying. I haven't lived in my home state since my high school graduation, so spending time with family and friends always meant having to fly home. However, things changed after my first true anxiety attack. I suddenly became focused on the "what ifs:" what if the plane lost hydraulic power? What if the pilot dies in-flight? I was so consumed with the negative thoughts that I completely forgot about my prior flying experiences, the majority of which were excellent.
I believe that part of the problem lay in the fact that the national media RARELY reports good news. They're quick to cover aircraft accidents, but that's because they occur so rarely! There is no way that they could possibly report on the thousands of successful flights that occur right here in the U.S., not to mention the thousands of others around the globe. My new-found fear got so bad that it prevented me from traveling home to attend my first niece's baptism. I love to say that we should never have regrets, but I still feel awful about that decision
However, after working with my counselor and doing some research, I've slowly come to realize that flying is a safe and convenient means of travel. Not having control is hard, but I have to remember that those who do have it are trained professionals. Sure, there is a slight possibility that things can go wrong, but the airline industry has created back-ups to back-ups to back-ups to ensure that we're safe on airplanes. I refuse to limit my life by letting my fear take control over me; unless I'm content with driving or sailing somewhere, I plan on confronting my fear head-on!
I know that my fears are a little different from yours, but I completely know what it's like to worry about flying in the days leading up to the actual event. Trying to alleviate those is tough, but it has to be done. Is there a way to distract yourself when you're having those thoughts? Is there any way you could travel with a friend or family member? I almost always fly alone, but my spouse is flying with me next month- it will be the first time stepping on a plane since my aforementioned incident. I'm trying not to think about my fears by focusing instead on the great family vacation I'll have once I reach my destination (I'll also get to meet my niece for the first time)!
I hope that you find some of this helpful! And, if you've already flown since your last posting, congrats!!
-Braden