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Fear of Flying - Difficult Exposure

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Fear of Flying - Difficult Exposure

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3

Recovery,

I was reading through the forum and happened to stumble across your original posting. My situation is a little different from yours: I have never had a fear of flying. I haven't lived in my home state since my high school graduation, so spending time with family and friends always meant having to fly home. However, things changed after my first true anxiety attack. I suddenly became focused on the "what ifs:" what if the plane lost hydraulic power? What if the pilot dies in-flight? I was so consumed with the negative thoughts that I completely forgot about my prior flying experiences, the majority of which were excellent.

I believe that part of the problem lay in the fact that the national media RARELY reports good news. They're quick to cover aircraft accidents, but that's because they occur so rarely! There is no way that they could possibly report on the thousands of successful flights that occur right here in the U.S., not to mention the thousands of others around the globe. My new-found fear got so bad that it prevented me from traveling home to attend my first niece's baptism. I love to say that we should never have regrets, but I still feel awful about that decision

However, after working with my counselor and doing some research, I've slowly come to realize that flying is a safe and convenient means of travel. Not having control is hard, but I have to remember that those who do have it are trained professionals. Sure, there is a slight possibility that things can go wrong, but the airline industry has created back-ups to back-ups to back-ups to ensure that we're safe on airplanes. I refuse to limit my life by letting my fear take control over me; unless I'm content with driving or sailing somewhere, I plan on confronting my fear head-on!

I know that my fears are a little different from yours, but I completely know what it's like to worry about flying in the days leading up to the actual event. Trying to alleviate those is tough, but it has to be done. Is there a way to distract yourself when you're having those thoughts? Is there any way you could travel with a friend or family member? I almost always fly alone, but my spouse is flying with me next month- it will be the first time stepping on a plane since my aforementioned incident. I'm trying not to think about my fears by focusing instead on the great family vacation I'll have once I reach my destination (I'll also get to meet my niece for the first time)!

I hope that you find some of this helpful! And, if you've already flown since your last posting, congrats!!

-Braden

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6

Here's another approach..

I am not sure if you are a Mom or a Dad but imagine you are flying with a small child. Ignore your own anxiety for a moment and focus on this child. Imagine this child started to panic or become frightened in some way, even become hysterical. How would you soothe that child, what would you say to them to let them know everything is ok. What words of comfort would you use. Would you hold them, speak softly to them or even sing to them ? Really try to focus on your nurturing side. If this were to happen, the focus would be solely on that child and not on yourself.

Now, you are that child. Turn the tables now and offer yourself reassurance. What gives you comfort, is it music, comfort food, a good book ? I promise that if you were in a situation like this you would be able to comfort that child. Try this approach in differnet situations, talk to yourself as if you are that small child and let yourself know that you will be fine and are safe. Only you can offer that guarantee you are looking for. Good luck!

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 12049

You can begin the exposure therapy at this point and run through many scenarios. You have the time to work through slowly and go through many scenarios if needed. It is important to take each step slowly and not move forward unless you are ready.

Give it a try and let us know how you are doing.

Josie, Health Educator

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3

Jen:

Thank you again for you comments. I understand what you mean about simply not allowing yourself to mentally go to the place where you are out of control. My biggest concern, however, is still the "what if". I seem to be fixated on what might happen in the "worst case scenario" (i.e. one of those flights where you get a ground hold for 4 hours prior to taking off). Every article I have ever read about panic attacks suggest that it is impossible to "lose control." To me this means that while I might have a full blown panic attack have difficulty breathing, sweating, racing heart, etc., I would not jump out of my seat and run around or anything like that. I wish that someone could confirm to me that this is the case, even in really difficult situations where physical retreat is not an option. I think I could rationalize with myself that I could deal with whatever panic symptoms when they come up, as long as their was sort of a guarantee that even in the height of panic, I wouldn't do something that would be tremendously embarrassing or endanger anybody else. The catalyst for all of these feelings, is that I have to do a Transatlantic flight in the near future. I don't know how to approach a ten hour flight. Do you have any additional insight hear, or perhaps Faryal has some comments as well. Thanks again.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 823

Great advice Jen!

Simulating potential situations for panic symptoms is a useful and effective tool in combating the panic and anxiety.

Recovery, let us know if Jen's suggestions are helpful and how you are coming along with these concepts.

Faryal, Health Educator

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6

Hi Again,

The trick is to not to allow yourself to get to the point of making a scence. By then you have allowed the panic to escalate, you need to nip it in the bud before it heightens. I had one flight were I had been returning home from visiting my terminally ill father. It is a 3 hr plane ride and I was mentally exhaused. I felt too tired to concentrate on the breathing, the muscle clenching so I have said to myself that I have a choice as to whether to panic or not. Whenever I felt things starting to escalate, I would scold myself and tell myself " I choose NO!!" I am sure I said it a hundred times to myself on that flight but it worked. I tried to turn the panic emotion into a mad response to scold myself.

One time I was with my daughter, I had been good for most of the trip. When we arrived and we are waiting for the planes door to opened it seemed to be taking forever, I blurted out " Let's get a move on", it was loud enough that most people turned to look at me. I was embaraassed and my daughter was humiliated. It was kind of a "getting back to the moment" reality check and I truly felt stupid and irrational.

Have you heard of being mindful, or trying to be in the present moment. It is usually remembering a previous experience that brings on the panic feeling. We have taught ourselves how to panic , not it is the retraining of how not to. By being mindful, means what is happening now has never happened before. When I blurted out on the plane "Lets get a move on" and I suddenly felt stupid, brought me back to the present. If someone were to slap me across the face while I was panicing it would really bring me back to reality, or snap me out of it.

I try to practice the mindful technique and the breathing daily as I ride the bus. I have challenged myself a few times by sitting near the back knowing full well that the bus will get crowded. It is imporant to practice whatever works for you tr and you can practice the techniques in other places. Keep practicing ti does get better. I also limit my caffeine intake on the days I fly, that is a huge one. Caffeine will increase your heartrate and make you a little edgier. Focusing on a large Tim Hortons when you land can be a reward too. Let me know if any of this make sense to you.

Jen

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3

Jen:

Thank you for the insight. I also use certain coping techniques while flying, but I really want to get to the point where I don't need these things. This one is such a hurdle because cognitive behavioral therapy doesn't really seem to provide a practical answer. Graded exposure therapy is practical for many things, but flying is to expensive and time consuming to do it more than once every couple of months. Is it true that no matter how you feel when these panic feelings strike, you are extremely unlikely to act out or do anything inappropriate even if you are someplace that you cannot escape from? I think that if I could convince myself that there was some kind of fail safe like that, then I would be willing just to tough it out. Right now, however, my mind keeps telling me that if I get those panic feelings while onboard, I'll freak out and make a scene. Not being able to travel comfortably is such a terrible thing!! Thanks again for the advice.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 538

Hey Recovery,

Welcome to the forums. I wish I could help you with this but I am also a bad flyer! It is one of my goals for the future! But the people here are great! Take care and post with us as often as you need!

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6

I fogot to mention an MP3 player with my favorite tunes!

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6

Hi ,

I can definitely relate.My hardest part used to be when the door closes. You hear that thunk and then I start to feel trapped. Once the plane gets going and we are in the air for the most part I am fine. The panic hits again after the plane has landed and arrives at the gate, when everyone stands up to depart but we are waiting for the door to open and people to move. I fly a few times a year and struggle still. I have had good trips when I am able to sit towards the front and in the aisle. I have used the deep breathing technique and it helps immensely. I have also used the muscle clenching are release and that really helps too. I was able to get past the door closing part when I tried to change my emotion from panic to ok, the sooner we get going the sooner I can get the hell out of hear. Tried to focus on being mad as oppose to being panic. I always try to have my "crutches" like a book or trashy magazine, some strong peppermints ( this is a must) and purel. I use purel to put on my hands and because of the alcohol in them it is cooling and gets rid of the clammy hands.

I have had good success with after the plane lands to squeeze my had rest as hard as I can and then release. I have to do this kind of secretly as to not alarm the person beside me. By doing this as we approach the gate, by the time everyone stands up and before the doors open, I am somewhat relaxed. This time can only be a few minutes depending on how efficient the airline is . I try and have other distractions, like pop a strong peppermint, put on lip gloss, hand cream ( or purel) and grab my things and by the time I have done those few things we are moving off.

These have all helped me so much. I don't like to take meds but if I have to I may pop a gravol before the flight. It makes me sleepy and sometimes it can take the edge off.

It is still a work in progress for me, but I know because I have had good experiences I can have more. I read once that I have taught myself how to have panic attacks I know have to teach myself how not to. Hope some of this helps you.

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Fear of Flying - Difficult Exposure