In a small town where every body knows you it might be a concern if you fail to hold a job because of a panic attack. But if you are in a larger centre. Then what does it matter if you fail. No one but you will care or notice. Even if you only manage a few days at least you will have an answer. You could use medication to get you started and then see if you could do it without it keeping it with you incase you need it. Look at the ten questions.(which other people are using with success). What is the worst that can happen you fail and are where you are now? What is the best, you succeed and you have a load taken off, you might even find you enjoy it? And the middle well maybe it was the wrong job and you need to find a different one. There is something to do for everyone. Start with the ten questions.
I also have problems with confidence. I've never been very confident in myself, especially in social situations. I know I am good at things, I was a very good athlete when I was younger, I'm smart, I'm also good at crafts and painting. I lack the confidence when I have to deal with other people. I go to my childs sports and school activities and have a few people I am comfortable talking to but usually would rather sit by myself and be left alone to watch. I am really having problems now with the economy the way it is my husbands work hours have been cut and I would really like to get a job to help financially. But as soon as I start to think about it or look in the classifieds I get the anxious, I can't do that I'll have an attack or who would want to hire me, thoughts. Has anyone else had problems with getting a job or keeping a job because of anxiety?
Since this is a bit long and I didn't want to get logged out I'm putting it in two posts. People are so proud of being able to multitask but for people in an anxious situation you don't want to do that. Take driving. You only need to know the basics. Where the other cars are and what they are doing and what the lights are doing. And if you are looking for a specific place then where it is. In an anxious state we add in all kinds of unnecessary stuff. Like whether people are looking at us or how many people are in the next car, even if they are older or younger. All unnecessary and only add to the stress. Look yes but don't concentrate on it. Look but then ignore it. This may not seem like a part of building confidence but it is. You have a right to be where you are and doing what you are doing as long as you are not walking on some one else's space. Some times it is necessary to drive aggressively in the traffic to stay with the flow and since the other guy is going to be unpredictable you may at some time overtake some one in a way they don't like. The minute this happens it becomes the past and since you can do nothing to change the past except learn from it it is best forgot. Keep your concentration on driving. This is also part of confidence building. You are you and you have a right to be you. Also you are probably more critical of you than other people are which doesn't help to build confidence. I hope this helped.
Hi Jaii: This CBT program will help you to change your negative thoughts (of yourself, your performance) to positive thoughts of yourself. Before any major situation where you have to perform (do something important or do something which causes you anxiety) do deep breathing/relaxation exercises and mentally visualize yourself doing it successfully. You can do the visualization before bedtime and whenever you feel you can relax and have the time. Practice the breathing exercises every day - 5 minutes in the morning and 5 min. at night is very good. Do it faithfully. Before the event, do the visualization and relaxation again. When you get anxious it will come automatically to you when you need it. Like riding a bicycle, you never forget once you have the balance.
When you do something well, go ahead and feel proud of yourself and reward yourself with something, a small treat, a new book, whatever you wish. Hope this can help you - good luck! and keep posting whenever you want. We care
Two words and one concept. I won. Every time you successfully perform a task such as passing someone say I won. Because you did but you need to convince yourself of it. Say it over and over till you believe it. You can do this with any situation that bothers you. Now you know that you have to replace negative thought with positive but if you try to keep score it becomes a form of concentration on the negative and gives them a reason to stick around. Just replace the negative thought with a positive and then forget it or if you must repeat the positive but don't keep score. Pretty soon you will just subconsciously replace the negative without thinking about it. So it won't be in your conscious to think about. It takes a while for this to happen but it does. It has to do with how you deal with information if you just let your mind deal with it, it will be rejected and forgot but if you think about it and reject it then it gets recorded and is there to think about and replay. Almost all information is dealt with without our active participation till we get an anxiety disorder. Then we start to concentrate and analyse every situation. Like driving. All you need to do is be aware of where the other vehicles are not who is in them. sending this before I lose it.
thanks for your valuable words. it really gives me confidence when i think that you and every one here , are there to support me..i am constantly working on my panic attacks and i find its less complicated than before. but please help me out how to control my negative thoughts which develops before on any situation or future events and how to redevelop my confidence?
Be sure to work through the program. It will certainly help you. Also, try practicing relaxation technicques will breathing. The auxillary section of the program will explain how to do box breathing. Let us know what you find out.
first of all i should admit that after just came in touch with panic center and detailed concept of panic attack i am very much relaxed and tension free. thank you all. i am doing the exercise and now i know wat exactly happening with me and wat should be my vision to wards the problems.
one problem i am still facing rarely is that " some times while driving if some strangers stares at me contineously i becomes very conscious and gets the symptoms of panic attack. a sort of lack of confidence. let me tell u example... when i over taken a car if any one from that car stares at me , then it makes me conscious or like they might b following..
But the good thing according to me when i compleated the challenge sheet i convinced my self and end up with the conclusion that i might have done overtaking little rashly. many times people definatly tried to overtake me with anger. so this could b one reason that i become overconscious and restless when some one stares me while driving.
Please let me know that am i on right track towards my problem solving? any suggestion for me for relaxation while driving?
Hi: Something which helps me with my confidence are reminders. I write down about 30 good things about myself - it's hard to do sometimes. It can be anything from having nice hair, to being a good friend, a good cook, a good baker, a good driver, a good gardener, etc. Also, a list of things to do - check them off as they get done and you will see you are capable of many things. You will see what you have done and it will make you feel good that you accomplished some goals.
