Hi Jessica,
Welcome. I'm Shari. I'm not an expert, but I don't think that what you have is a phobia, it's a natural fear or concern. And, the reason I say that is, because I was in your shoes with my divorce and my daughter traveling with her dad. I never felt comfortable with it, because he wasn't a responsible person. However, over time, as I saw that she was okay when she came back, the fear became less. I understand that it's difficult to work it as exposure work, because they aren't constantly traveling. They come back and then later, the fear comes up, because they're going again. It's tough. Being a Christian, I prayed a lot and God looked out for her. She's almost 22 now, but I remember those feelings like they were yesterday. She travels, as an adult, by herself and she works in the city in Washington D.C. And, at first it bothered me that she was a young girl taking the subway and buses. But, I see she is capable. All I can tell you for sure is that, as your child gets older and you see that he or she is alright, the fear will lesson. And, once he or she is of legal age and there's no more visitation, you will feel a weight off of your shoulder. My daughter lives with my ex husband's Mother in Virginia and commutes to D.C. She visits me on weekends. It used to bother me, but she is doing well and she is happy and I raised her to be independent and she can take care of herself, so things get better. I hope you find some comfort in that, but I know it's not an instant fix, because your child is still young. I will keep you both in my prayers and I know God will look out for you both. I've also learned that, even if you don't see results right away, that God is always working behind the scenes. Trusting God, really helped me, although as a Mom you always have concern for your child, it's normal. Feel free to post here anytime. Everyone is so supportive and it really does help to share your feelings and have support knowing that others have similar situations and everyone genuinely cares for you. Hang in there - you will make it - I have every confidence in you.
Oh - are there any pleasant activities that you can enjoy while you're child is away? Trying to fill in the time with things you like to do, helps you get through. Also, positive self talk, like, "This is only temporary, my child will be back soon, My child is safe and God is looking out for him or her, etc."
Your friend, Shari
