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for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi D. It is a delicate subject to discuss with just any ol' person, but speaking with a doctor about it is quite appropriate and not so delicate. They know the human body, they've studied it and know more about it than we do. I say go for it! As one of the moderators pointed out you could always write it down and show it to them and then get a response in writing too if this seems more comfortable. They really don't mind questions, rather they welcome them so they can get to know you better and what your needs are. We are all sisters in this, we support you all the way whatever you decide to do.

Holding you hand through this,

Sunny

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi Debora,

I hope you're computer is cooperating this morning. It's great to read through so many supportive posts.

I like what Davit mentioned about remembering "you have control over you". You can choose to use this period in your life as a time for self-care, self-reflection, renewal, enlightenment. Most likely, though it has been very challenging, your husband will see and acknowledge the positive changes in you. Confidence can be very attractive! You are taking all the right steps Debora, asking a lot of good questions and seeking help. Keep it up! Vincenza, Health Educator

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you for all you're replies. I was going to write back sooner but I got booted off, my broadband was out of whack or something and I could not get back online. I am just going to not worry about this one for awhile, things I am sure will go back to normal once I start feeling better, its such a delicate subject anyway and I get shy I guess. Davit said he married me and loves me and he has seen me at my worst, right after childbirth, and sick with the flu etc.......I think a lot of its my perception too, I am going to write back more tommarow, I am so afraid this computer is going again is flashing and blinking, I think the cookies are enabled or something, I am going to re-boot and try again, this darned computer! It keeps going out on me today!

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 2508

Debora,

Wishing you well and hoping you feel better soon..

Red....

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi D: I remember being too shy to ask my doc. about certain things. I thought about it and realized that my doc has so many patients anyway, why would she remember me specifically? I think in our anxiety we are very self-centred, the world revolves around us, but it doesn't really, the world revolves with us and everyone else in it. Good luck with the nurse.

Sunny

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Debora

That is the idea. Realizing it is anxiety and worry is certainly the road out of hypochondria. I'm not supposed to tell you, you will be okay but I really think you will. But of course that is just my thought but I have seen a lot of people go through this. It takes time remember. And patience. On both your parts. You and your husband. But of course you only have control over you. So how about you do it for you. See if you can look pretty for you. Eat for you, sleep for you. I'm sure he will notice you trying and love you more for it. If not then I guess there is not much you can do is there. Not your fault then if you tried is it. Men might grumble and complain but he did marry you. He must love you. And he is probably more confused than upset. I know I get upset when I don't understand something but it really is just a cover for my ignorance. Right now I'm being taken care of because I'm sick but if it was the other way round I would gladly do the caring. And I would not care how she looked. Sick people are supposed to look pale.

We are here for you. Have you told him that we all agree that you need time to get better and that we recognize it will take time. Maybe if he sees you as we do it will be better.

Just a thought since none of us know him and can know how he thinks. You know we want to help, some times we just don't know what we can do.

Davit.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you Ashley and Davit.

I think my fear is stemming more physical than mental, through its probably both. I don't think the insurance company would pay for a sex therapist, they are already paying for my regular therapist and nurse, I was going to talk to my nurse next week at my appt {I hope I can make that one} she is about five years older than me, has gone through menopause, is a woman and maybe has some insight, I fear just about everything else in my life so I guess I should not be surprised this scares me now too, since the panic attacks and everything else has happened I know I am not as appealing to my husband, this is just fact, I have noticed it, I really thought when I started to recover things would change. I hope I have not put my husband through so much hell and misery he has lost interest, he has his own health problems too, but even more than intimacy issues I have noticed we barely talk anymore, I worry since it went on so long I hurt my marriage and I hope this is NOT the case.

I am hoping things will even out so too speak, I am not feeling so good today so I think I am just down and depressed, bad dreams and I was worried about mosquito bites because of that dengue fever outbreak, gotta stop worrying about everything!!

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hi Debora.

I put a dress on so I could tell you some thing that might help.

Men get the same thing. Anxiety gives men performance problems and we can't fake it.

Ashley is right. Addressing anxiety in one area repaired all the anxiety issues for me in other areas. Stick with the program and all of this should go away. It did for me.

Davit.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Debora,

I had to chime in here because I think a lot of women can relate to what you are saying. Insecurities around appearance and sex in today's society is so common. This would be a very common issue a sex therapist would deal with. An option could be for you to see one. A sex therapist discusses issues like this all the time so you would not have to worry about any judgement from them.

In addressing your anxiety you will in turn make gains in other areas in your life too. You will be surprised how much managing your anxiety will improve your confidence and overal wellbeing. Keep working at it and you will get there. I can't wait to hear about all you achieve. With your attitude I have no doubt you will get there. Just stick with it and stick with us!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Thanks Josie,

I really pondered even writing that post I was not sure never would I want too offend anyone, thanks for saying it was honest.

I do see my female nurse-pracationer next week and I will bring this up, my regular therapist is male so I will address it to my nurse. I think part of it is that I feel very unattractive, I guess this is a minor point with everything else bad these terrible panic attacks have caused, but I feel like I have aged ten years, I do not even like to look in the mirror anymore because I look so haggard drawn and unpretty, I am trying to find someone to come to my home and cut my hair, it needs it, I am not ready for a busy beauty shop yet, so many people and all those fumes, I know a woman always feels better if she looks better, I know I look at all the moderators on this sight and they are so pretty and healthy looking, that is what I want to have again, not that I hope to be a raving beauty just too look "human" again, my friend says I look like I have seen a ghost or been in prison for a year, that was hard to hear but I guess its true, I felt so very sick and tired weak and panicky I guess I just gave up with the hair and make-up. I still have so many fears I want to let go of Josie, hopefully the one I wrote about and others will fade with time, CBT and prayer. Thank-you.

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