Hello,
Well today I dialled the number to a local mental health centre to make an appointment, I put the phone down as it rang but then forced myself t ring again and before I could do anything lady answered. I asked if they could help but there was a waiting list and she would need my details. I put the phone down saying I would think about it.
Oh my god crying now just got a fright, my living room door is part glass and the TV was reflecting on it, thought someone in house, oh I'm such a pepthetic person, just need a moment.
Heart is still pounding and I'm shaking while writing this but need to continue.
After putting the phone down I sat down for a while and then picked up the phone and dialled the number for the samaritans, it was answered very quick and took me by surprise, asked if they had a centre in an area by me but she wanted to phone me back I said no and out the phone down. Thought might as well phone another area to ask they said they has a couple in the next area and I could make an appointment, told him I would think about it.
I'm scared at what to expect or what they expect of me. I want to be out of area and I want to be able to park without pressure of finding somewhere to park, miles from the centre. I'm scared that people will find out that I am attending, don't want husband/family or work to ever know. I just don't know what to do. I know that I have made some progress in dialling the numbers but need to meet someone face to face, 'I just need a bit more time.
Why are things difficult, why can't I just make the call and set an appointment up?
Julie