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for 14 år siden 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
the rest of that post said "in al three of them and I'm a tight wad so I'll go".  Then I rambled on about some other stuff and then said....see I told ya, Party later (re: three trips above).  Really looking forward to the golf, gonna try to find some get up and go to get to the driving range this weekend.  That's all. 
 
for 14 år siden 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Arizona,  I, too, have a daily and weekly and montly fluctuation as well as the seasonal.  I can so relate. I never know what time, where, or when it's gonna hit (the worst).  Recognizing and ACCEPTING THIS seasonal component will help me to better deal with it. Recognizing and accepting the others has made a difference.  Sort of learn to roll with the punches (no pun intended). 
 
Ashley, as you know I've discussed with my psychiatrist and therapist the possibility of light therapy.  I have a large bedroom (biggest room in the whole house :)  ).  It would be quite expensive according to my psychiatrist to get enough, I can not remember the word, to make it sufficient to gain anything from it.  I keep thinking if I sell my home this year and buy a smaller home or at least with an average size bedroom then I wouldn't have to have so many machines. He calculated and it would take 4 for that space to make it "work".  I did a little research on it and at the time what he told me was supported by what I read; however, that was a month or two back and whoosh, there it went.
 
My therapist didn't offer any suggestions other than to bear with, get as much sunlight as possible, keep doing what I'm doing with my daily rituals of self-treatment (the exercise, meditation, blah blah blah) Keep up the CBT.  I'm sort of hit and miss on all of it right now.  Called my boss in the landscaping business and told her I am ready to go to work!  Hopefully soon.  I went and got my B12 shot (timely) thinking that would give me an energy boost - hmmm, sitting and waiting on that.
Wish the sleep would get straightened out.  I'm working on it.  I think that would help.  when the circadian rhythms get off; it doesn't help at all.  The anxiety is less, depression stable.  (not getting any worse).  So I will be grateful for that.
 
I got asked by my boss at the A/D tx facility if I'd like to move to another position when a new facility is opened up.  Wow, a boost to the ego.  I, of course, would have to apply and be interviewed.  But that's a good indication.  She's the second one in the higher hierarchy to ask if I'd be interested. :)  That would occur this fall.  That tells me I need to figure out something for next year!!!!! 
 
I have three weekend outings planned - this weekend going to watch my son (adult) play in a fundraising basketball game to raise money for a mentoring program in which he has a mentoree.  He asked me to watch him at his trial on Tuesday.  He's asked me before, told me he was "ready", but never given me a time and date.  I'll be sitting on the front row.  I'm excited about that.  The first weekend outing is next weekend, going to play golf, hang out with friends at a rustic cabin in a rural state park near here.  Second weekend is some friends from high school (all female) are getting together for our first ever reunion in a local larger metropolitan area.  Hope to have some fun there.  I was thrilled they invited me as you probably remember I got pregnant in high school and really didn't hang around with any one except my son, my junior and senior year, so honored they thought to ask me.  We were all friends; it's just different activities back then.
The third weekend is in April,  It's a woman's Christian Retreat in Branson, Mo. I'm excited about that.  Second time I've gone and looking forward to it again.  Of course, my brain says you don't want to go (that must be the left side) cause the right side is saying you are going whether you want to or not. I have reservations and/or money invested in
for 14 år siden 0 32 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Goofy,
 
You have a seasonal component and I have a daily component.  I seem to lull between 1pm and 4pm like clockwork.  Weird eh!
 
Loved the song.  Very positive on the future. 
 
Cheers,
 
A.
for 14 år siden 0 11224 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Love the song Goofy! Thank you for sharing it with us.
 
I also admire your humour  

Did the therapist give any suggestions on how to manage the seasonal component? 
 
Oh and, summer is on it's way! (party later)  
 

 

Ashley, Health Educator
for 14 år siden 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Today was therapy day....so I took a bath!!! (party later).  There was a pamplet in his outer office that said "understanding depression".  When he came toget me, I said, "that's an oxymoron".  He laughed and said yes it is.  I said I used to say that people who don't have it don't understand it.  I am going to have to change that to "even people who have it, don't understand it".  I think it is reflected in these forums.  (not trying to be negative, just observant). 
I guess that tells you where I am....frustrated, depressed, non-productive, unmotivated, house the same.  My anxiety is lower, my depression SUCKS!  We discussed that, the therapist and I, he pulled out my file from last year, he said would you like me to read, I said I was this depressed last year at this time, he said yes, there is definitely a seasonal component to your depression.  (party later). 
I was watching American Idol earlier (party later) and Danny Gokey was performing, he made it to the finals last year.  He just released a new song.  It's called My Best Days Are Ahead of Me.  I don't know if y'all are familiar with his story...if you aren't it's touching.  The lyrics go like this.  It is inspirational (party later).  Copyrighted btw
Blowing out the candles
on another birthday cake
Old enough to look back and laugh at my mistakes
Young enough to look at the future and like what I see
My best days are ahead of me

Life hasn't always been a party
but mostly it's been good
There's only one or two things that I'd change if I could
I dont get lost in the past or get stuck in some sad memory
My best days are ahead of me

Age is nothing but a number
Sometimes I have to wonder
What does it really mean
But hey im still putting it together
I keep getting better
if I keep getting better
I can be whatever I want to be
My best days are ahead of me

I've got sunsets to witness
dreams to dance with
beaches to walk on
and lovers to kiss
there's a whole lot of world out there
that I can't wait to see
My best days are ahead of me
My best days are ahead of me
for 14 år siden 0 121 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi, Goofy.  
 
I want to let you know that I'm thinking of you and miss your upbeat posts.   I understand, though, that this is something that we periodically go through in our fight against the oppressive depression.   
 
You have done so much work on the house lately and you're constantly picking everyone up here on the depression forum, it's no wonder you're in a minor slump.   Take care of yourself, take what you need at this time, and we'll be anxiously awaiting the Goofy we all know and love!
 
Rebbie
for 14 år siden 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks Strength,
I appreciate you encouragement.  I am overwhelmed and the depression has got ahold on me. It hasn't come with the anxiety since the first couple of years and that's got me scared.  I'm still maintaing hope and gratitude and Diva's words of wisdom are etched in my mind "This too shall pass".  Unfortunately not on my time frame. 
I'm just hanging out; put the house on hold, got rid of jury duty (it ended last Friday).  I dunno Strenght, I'm just freakin' depressed and as usual trying to rationalize the irrational.  I always want a reason why?  lol, I haven't outgrown that since I was about 3 I guess.  Other than that things are good.  Life is good to me, I'm more comfortable in my home even with all the things that haven't finished yet.  I still have a long list to go to get this place ready to sell.  I keep telling myself - don't quit now; but my get up and go, got up and went.  The basics are a struggle right now. 
Thanks for listening caring and being there.
for 14 år siden 0 217 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Goofy,
 
I hopped on the site to browse around and came across your post. I get a sense that you are exhausted, going through a tough time. How have things been lately? I am hoping you are feeling better today, please check in soon to let us know how you are doing! Here for you!
 
Strength

for 14 år siden 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Was supposed to go visit my granddaughter yesterday, babysit, not cause the kids were going anywhere, just for fun.  I bailed said I visit this afternoon, I bailed.  I'm glad she isn't old enough to understand the concept of time.  I made myself stay up all day in hopes of sleeping this afternoon.  I've not been successful at taking naps and if I do they are very short lived; then minimal sleep at night - geez.  Just burst out crying for no reason....I'm sure there is a reason but I will go bonkers trying to figure it out.  I go to doc (gyn) tomorrow and dermatologist on Tues.  therapy on Thurs.  lol, someone should be able to fix me. I felt so much better after therapy on Thursday last week, but it seems to have (the anxiety/depression) risen back up to it's original levels.  What I am grateful for is that it hasn't gone higher than that!  Just frustrating that's all.  I've stalled out on what I've been doing (stalled again).  ah, as Diva says, this too shall pass, just not on my time.  I have the wherewithall to know that I am doing all that I know to do to keep it at bay and work on it.  Sometimes it's just hard to follow through!  The reward for visitng with my granddaughter is tremendous.  I haen't seen my grandmother (99) in about a month.  I feel guilty about that...I need to stop by and see her.  I am helping my Uncle take care of things, I'm not much help these days and he needs someone to keep an eye on him more than she needs someone.  He's not trustworthy.
for 14 år siden 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
well it didn't work last night and doesn't appear to be working tonight.  Getting to the point I can't eat.  It makes me sick.  I am so frustrated with all this depression/anxiety sh**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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