Redy: I am SO sorry you're having such a tough time, but you know what? In reading your two posts, after getting through the self-disgust, I can also hear the determination you have and that's a VERY good thing!
You are going through a lot right now and as you so accurately pointed out, smoking didn't help a single one of those issues. But just know that those 29 days were REAL, very real. You PROVED to yourself that you CAN quit smoking.
Remember "NOPE" and "Smoking is not an option". Those two things have been the most helpful for me when I face a smoking test. Ok, I won't smoke, so what else can I do to get through this moment?
YOU CAN DO THIS -- you're very strong and we are here for you any time or any way you need us, you know that. I'm glad you posted and vented and ranted -- I'm sure it all helped.
I'm coming up on 5 months on my quit (miracle!), but I've learned that I'm GLAD I've faced some difficult moments in my life since I quit. The fact that I could face them without smoking just makes me feel that much stronger about my ability to quit. I may not have confidence in ALL aspects of my world right now, but I do on this one and I'm very proud of that.
Glad to see you back on board. Tons of hugs -- keep the faith, Redy!
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/8/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 148
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,955
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1184
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 19 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 18 [B]Seconds:[/B] 43