Lady
Your post just about broke my heart. I know enough about this type of loss and grief to know that there is little I can say to make it right. However, I will point out that you have worked hard, harder and hardest to reach 20 months quit.
You say that you feel worthless, well I say that any one who can accomplish that amazing feat is anything BUT worthless. You are a strong, determined person who knows that no matter what happens in this life, no matter how severe our loss, no matter how deep our pain, SMOKING WILL NOT MAKE IT BETTER. And in addition if you light up now after such a wonderful effort, you will feel terrible. Please don't do that.
I am sitting here with tears running down my face, because I can so relate to your situation. I too once believed with all my heart in someone and eventually found that my belief and love where misplaced.
Please try to get through this without smoking...I know that you know it will in the long run solve nothing and will cause you even more heatache...
Hold on, there will be an answer
nonic
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/25/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 90
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,174
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $630
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 16 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 57 [B]Seconds:[/B] 51
