Small things that make me overreact and finally binge... for example yesterday I should meet a friend but she couldn't came. I felt left alone, i got angry on her with no real motivation. And then I ended binging on cheese and youghurt..... nearly 200g of cheese and two small fruit youghurt... last evening. Now i feel a little seek. But i deserve it.
I was disappointed that she couldn't or wouldn't came. When she needs me I'm always there... and when i needed to get out in the evening nothing (we had established before to get out). I don't consider her my best friend but anyway is in the positive scale of friends.
I'm not hiding from my feelings and usually end eating by frustration or if I don't tell the others what is bothering me. Especially in the situation in witch I would have to tell them some things or even fight with them but I try to be polite and non aggressive at all...
Going for a walk is a good idea only that I live alone in Rome and in the evening I can't get out all by myself. And usually this happens to me in the late evening. In fact I was so angry with her because it was late and I ended staying at home all the evening. I'm only studying here so all my friends and my boyfriend too are far away.
The only thing that I can do in the evening during the week is to go to the pool. But in the we I'm often alone.
As for the diary in the past I kept one. Now sometimes I feel the need to write but not very often.
It is very difficult to start but then you discover the you feel better. And feeling better is a great incentive. I've been thrown in the pool by my doctor after I had a really bad crisis cause my back (a slipped disk and another compressed).
Before I was terrorized by water. Even now without my friend (the aqua-fitness belt) I go under. But the way I feel after the class keeps me going. And I got also some confidence with water. So is important to start and I think that you should go to the gym. It is easier to keep going if you have a trainer helping out.
The aqua - fitness is a complete workout: cardio and strength. Usually in a class we work the upped body, or the lower body or do as complete workout.
The cardio - jogging in water; the same movements as you do on land but in deep water.
then the classic aerobics;
For the strength we use floating things, like barells, tubes etc. And work against the water resistance. Instead of the classic exercises where you have to pull up the weight here you have to push the floating equipment under the water.
and then we do also lots of abs using the water to float on.
As for my adventure here should end in october. If I manage to end my thesis. and then I will return home. I also have my parents that tell me that I should think seriuosly to find a job in a big company.
Hi! Often when people are afraid and don't know how to react tend to say things like: it's not you. But in fact they want to say: I'm afraid, I don't know how to react when you are not feeling well.
Try to talk with him to explain that you are ill but you are the same and that you need his help to get better.
When I will end my studies and have a regular home and a regular schedule I want to take an dog trainer course to get the diploma. When I can I help fiends train their dogs but I would like to do it as a hobby but in a more official way. I lived with dogs since I was 3 years old.
another thing that I like very much is roller blading. The only problem is that I don't like going alone... I need at least one roller buddy. Maybe because I'm not feeling very confident to go out beeing overweight....
As for a swimmer I'm the perfect rock... that goes under... so I think that you will do really fine. :D
As for the job. Me and my parents have completely different opinions. I don't like to be told what I have to do. I'm a natural leader I think. So I would like to work by myself. They are telling me that I need some stable income.
But I'm a free spirit... Then they are afraid of my problems. They prefer to do the ostriches... and they don't seem to understand that more pressure they put on me and more likely I will do whatever I want. and this apart from feeling depressed.
