EvolutionHealth.care

Start
Medlemsliste
Se medlemmer
Posts created by furgittit

Advanced Search Form

Medlemsliste
Administrator
Se medlemmer
Posts created by furgittit

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Venting

Uh oh, I have been thinking again, I am in one of those obsessive moods at the moment. I have just figure out that yes, I have been depressed for the majority of my life, my depression worsened when my hubby got injured and the downward spiral of events that occured after that.

Due to lack of finances and my doctor pushing the "healthier lifestyle, different food, more exercise, quitting smoking etc." I quit smoking, attempted to exercise more and change my diet. I made the majority of changes over time and thought that the worsening depression was just my life situation. When I quit smoking, 292 days ago, I did so because I didn't have any money to buy another pack of smokes to make it through the weekend (yes, I only smoked 10 - 15 smokes a day, but they were good). I enjoyed going outside for a cigarette (+40 or -40 it's all good), I enjoyed going for a walk (rollerblade or bike ride) and having a cigarette, I enjoyed going for a drive and having a cigarette, I enjoyed gardening and having a cigarette, I enjoyed talking on the phone and having a cigarette outside, I enjoyed going out for drinks and dancing and smoking. I see a pattern here, things that I enjoyed doing at one time were enjoyed with a cigarette.

Now when I attempt to do these things that I once enjoyed, I get angry, exhausted, more depressed. I believe it has something to do with not smoking, I have given up on the diet and exercise with a modicum of relief from the depression. To think about it, I led a "healthier life" when I was smoking, I ate more fruits and vegetables (now I crave anything greasy, salty or sweet), when I smoked, I exercised more, because I had to go outside to do this. Now I hide in my house and cannot find any enjoyment with extra physical activity.

Don't get me wrong, I now know that I can handle anything without having that cigarette, but it doesn't make me feel any better physically or emotionally not having that cigarette. Somedays, I just wish........

I know shut up and just put up. Thanks for listening

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Venting

Thanks for all the input.

Vent # 1 Cigarettes were my best friend for over 20 years. They were there through the good and bad and never judged me or told me off. They were my worst enemy for over 20 years. They constantly wanted me to buy more, smoke more, spend more. I don't believe the crap that the "studies" say about the toxicity of cigarettes. I still haven't seen the upside of quitting other than spending more money on my bills, that I can't afford anyway. There are just as many toxins in medications that doctors push on us, exhaust from cars, country air, blah, blah, blah. Again these so-called studies that are others points of views are being pushed on everyone. I did not want to quit, I had to quit, I am not healthier for, as I previously pointed out, my health, mentally and physically has gotten worse since I quit, so for everyone out there who believes these studies, think again before pushing those views on others. People live longer now because of technology and ingesting all sorts of crap, 100 years ago and more, we lived much shorter lives and most diseases were unheard of and I believe these people had the right of it.

Vent #2 Apparently, I am healed, my psychologist has said that I do not need to see her any more. She advised me that my GP will take me off the antidepressants when she feels it is time for me to come off of them. My psychologist suggested family counselling for me and my husband and then (event though she knows my thoughts on group therapy, group this and group that) suggested group therapy. Well, I guess if the experts say I don't need therapy, then who am I to object to this, after all it is not my life they are messing with. Oh yeah, it is. Well I guess I will deal how I have been dealing over the past how many years and keep posting on this site and reading other posts and, and, and.

Vent #3 My blood pressure is no longer high (good, bad, I don't know). It is very low, normally my top number without med's is 220 - 280 over 120 - 140 (not related to smoking, alcohol or food so don't go there). With med's 120 over 70, now without meds 90 over 70. So my GP doesn't know what to think and I am in a holding pattern to see if it is just a cold, ear infection, one of my meds, pulling this one, substituting that one without unbalancing the antiarhythmic medications (so at least the heart stays beating.

Done, fell better? No, but what the heck.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

List of Good Things That Have Happened Recently

Wildcat,

The book is called Night World by L.J. Smith, my daughter really thinks it is almost as good as the Twilight series. I am not to keen on the kids that plays the lead vampire. But that is what drives the kids wilds now (I'll take Val Kilmer over this kid). But then again check out the websites for the next movie New Moon, their are a couple of up and comers in the Wolf Pack that unfortunately are way too young but pretty darn cute ( I know one from the old neighbourhood, won't say who, as this would possibly lead to people knowing my identity). Bragging again. So that in and of itself makes our household huge fans of the series, especially my teenage daughter. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

As for my list of good things, I will not taint this string with anything not positive (this is my mantra when I come into this string). My hubby finally drove my new(er) van (I bought a used van in October and he hadn't driven it at all (his doctor said no winter driving). He likes it, for a mini-van. Hubby was offered part-time work, driving weekends, or when he can (friend of his) yay, when I get his truck registered and filled with gas, he is out-of-here

, if only for a few hours a couple of days a week.

Well that is it. I hope everyone else out there has a couple of good things to add to the list, even if you don't add it to the list, smile and know that you have something positive to cherish, even if for a little while.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

work relationships

Wildcat,

Deep Breath!!!!!!!!

I completely relate to what you are saying (albeit my office is small) but the others take advantage and whisper and make plans and then pretend that nothing happened, or they will say things just loud enough for me to hear and let me know that I am not included. Women are B#$*$#@.

If it is an issue that is really bothersome, bring it up with your boss. The boss usually has some training on how to deal with the unruly teenage girls that are giggling in the back of the room making everyone else uncomfortable because of their own lack of self-esteem.

You are not childish and your thoughts and feelings matter. I don't find you difficult, I find that you induce me to think more in the gray areas, not just the black and white. I will say it again, it is easy to point out the differences in others than it is to recognize it in ourselves, you are thinking black and white, look at the gray.

Now as for your test in May, you are not to miss that for anyone, anything or blah, blah, blah. This is a must and if you need to talk to the Boss, talk to the Boss. This woman cannot demand you put your health in jeopardy because of her selfish desire to have a holiday (holidays are important, but not as important as your health). Besides you asked first and were granted the time off.

I had an ultrasound done on my heart and the tech (very nice lady) was very gentle with my breast, she had to wiggle this way and that way and push here and there but all in all it was ok. I believe most tech's are nice and only the mean ones go into mammograghy not ultrasounds :). So again deep breath.

Remember, we are here for you whenever you need a shoulder or in this case a computer to lean on.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Venting

OOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a big one, I just came across a twit who believes that Depression is a CHOICE. Ahh yes, sir, I choose to have bad thoughts about harming myself, yes sir, I choose to cry uncontrollably at the most inopportune moments, yes sir, I choose to require medications to help even out my mood. Yes sir, I am choosing this mindset to get people to feel sorry for me.

Boy did I let him have it. And you all know what that means.

Ahhhhhhhhh! my deep breath and let it out, and hopefully we can get these twits to realize that depression is an illness and not a choice.

Thanks guys.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

List of Good Things That Have Happened Recently

I don't know if this is positive or not, but I will be positive about it, my phone was disconnected today. Yay, no more creditors calling saying to give me money, no more friends and family calling saying "solve my problems" (hopefully they won't take advantage of my cell phone, oops, I turned it off

). It was disconnected because they hadn't received my paymt that I made over the weekend. Oh well, they will have it by tomorrow and then our phone and internet will be back up and running on Thursday.

Hubby drove me to work today in my van and he will be driving our daughter to her badminton tourney tonight (he has never driven the kids to any of the extra's, he is turning a new leaf). He isn't even angry about having no internet at home, definitely a shocker for me.

Sun is shining and it is beautiful outside, I took a breather at lunch and got some fresh air, about 10 minutes.

I hope the rest of you have a great day.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

List of Good Things That Have Happened Recently

Does no-one have anything positive to add to the list????

My addition is that I finally made it to work today. (Check Venting for details.

Come on everyone, something good please, or I will have to chuck the list and say poop on it.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Venting

Sorry for not posting sooner, it has taken the phone company longer than expected to turn the phone and internet on and I was sick last week Wed, Thur, Fri, Sat, Sun with a sinus, throat and ear infection that is making my blood pressure drop (without addition of my blood pressure pills, haven't had one in a week). I made it to work today and I am starting to get laggy and nose is running and I want to go back to bed, where it is nice and warm and safe.

Got my Notice of Assessment from the CRA, was a nice refund that was sent to pay off my Student Loans, so easy come (not really, I worked my but off), easy go (could have used the refund to pay some bills). This is why I talked to payroll about taking less tax off, then more to regular bills and Student Loans can wait until my hubby works again or I win the lottery (my own fantasy, dreeeeeaaaaammmmmmmmm).

Wildcat, don't drink and do med's it isn't safe and I need you to slap me whenever I get to paranoid or high on my soap box.. I get loopy enough without the booze, I couldn't imagine doing both at the same time. I am glad you thought of me in your time of !woohoo! with your husband (didn't come out right, but you know what I mean!!!). Still waiting for internet at home to check out youtube.

Well take care everyone.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Do you feel isolated?

I have always isolated myself from others (or at least tried). I do not particularly enjoy the smell or feel of other people (strangers). I am by no means shy, on the telephone or online I am fine, but would prefer not to actually see people. There are even members of my own family (for example my mother, she has always had a detesting odour about her (B.O, baby powder, wet dog and cigarettes) that quite literally makes me sick to my stomach. I cannot change the fact that I don't like certain smells unless I cut off my nose and as for people touching me ewwww keep your hands to yourself, if I didn't give permission to touch me.

Sometimes all the CBT in the world will not help change a person in their situations but it has been worth a try in most other aspects.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

work relationships

Wildcat,

I love Seroquel, it is the best keeper asleep medication around (I know good grammer).

As for the people at work, I completely understand, I had this job once where I would get out of bed (if I had slept) puke my guts out, get ready for work go to work, get yelled at for her mistakes, go puke, document it, go home, cry, do the usual go to be and the next day would be the same. I tried talking to her about it, she just said the mistakes were mine (these are your accounts even though she took them over). I tried talking to the owner and he was scared of her and said the decisions were hers. I made it very clear to both of them that I was documenting everything. I couldn't quit, they would have to lay me off, anything else would result in a lawsuit that would have them fighting for a long time, because I wouldn't back down and the Labour Board wouldn't look to kindly on them.

This is a big company with offices all over Canada and North America, it would have been pretty bad for them to fire me, so they waited till after Christmas (when we got our profit share (I still got mine and wow, I was surprised good good good)) to lay me off a week before my father-in-law past away. I was sad, happy and confused all at the same time. So I took myself down to the EI office and applied and looked for work in my chosen field and not to do with numbers and I had 10 months vacation to find just the right job, which turned out to be a job I had already had a few years before.

So it worked out in the end, and I believe I am a better person for it (I am just a little off the track at the moment).

I hope you are feeling better and shame on your co-worker for giving you heck, she should grow up and deal with this on an adult level.

Take care.

Dagens vigtigste diskussioner

Denne måneds Førende:

Mest Hjælpsomme

Mest Aktive

Fik flest Hjerter