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for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

How Do You Stop Yourself From Thinking

Today my counselor asked me to try some breathing exercises, much like the box breathing but sitting up. The only problem that I have is how do you turn of your mind and keep yourself from thinking while you are doing this? I have never been able to think of nothing, there is always a mental list, or some thoughts racing through my head.

I have tried counting 1, 2, 3, 4 but then it leads me to lists of things, like shopping, housework, where I have to go. If I think of black or nothingness then I see colours and I think laundry, painting, chores etc. Anyone out there have any clues as to how to stop thinking. I mean I am blond and it should be easy, unfortunately, there is alot more than air in there

Thanks

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

List of Good Things That Have Happened Recently

Diva, good for you. That is a long list.

I am hoping this catches on, I was sort of thinking of this as a brag list for everyone because I know even when we have our really bad days, we have something positive that occurs. Sometimes it takes alot of thinking (even that is a positive) and going through all of the negatives to come up with something positive and even if it gets your mind off the negative for 1 second or 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day, 1 month etc. I think that is a big positive.

I will leave you all with my positives for the week, hubby got new sleeping pills (so maybe he will be able to sleep the whole night in bed with me rather than on the chair), I had a bath last night and was able to concentrate for 1/2 hour to read my book (historical European smut, nothing better than to live a fantasy life in another time and another place/country even if for a few minutes).

Have a great weekend and I hope to see some more posts.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

List of Good Things That Have Happened Recently

Sorry, just one more good thing. I went and bought my 649 and Super 7's today (I can't resist the possibility of 48 million dollars) and the beautiful, wonderful, intelligent woman at the till asked me for ID, wow, she made my day. So I had to brag and I know everyone here will understand what this means.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

How Do You Stop Yourself From Thinking

Interesting. I know I am not the only one out there who cannot seem to "turn it off". You have given me alot "more" to think about. I will try the breathing and the "not thinking" I will not say it won't work, but I cannot say it will work. I will just try.

Thanks Wildcat.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Venting

My problem is being a realist. I am not artistic, like my sister and aunt, I can't let the housework go and neglect my children and their needs and sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry, like my mom, I can't drink myself into a numbness like my dad used to. I cannot bring myself to use illegal drugs as a crutch as my aunt and uncles did (do). I cannot ***** myself out for money, jewellry, drugs and whatever other material things my ex-step-mother *****s herself out for. I believe these people are more able to turn it off, because they aren't the ones taking care of everything and being responsible for everything, they are the ones capable of running away and hiding from reality and responsibility and leaving "it" to people like me who they know they can fob it off on.

I see everything for what I percieve it to be, sure I can point out the good to other people and advise others to be optimistic and that they will get through it, but when it comes to myself, I cannot see the hope, I cannot see the brighter side/silver lining. I lie to others saying we will get through this, things will work out etc. But deep down I know they will not.

Today is a bad day, for no particular reason (could be the snow, could be because I am tired, could be the crappy weekend I had, sure things got done, but my husband was an a**, could be anything), I am feeling extra sad and alone today.

I am trying the Good Things list in hopes that it may boost me and others to see past the black veil covering everything (and to brag a little).

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

List of Good Things That Have Happened Recently

I woke up this morning.

I managed to pull myself together enough to go to work.

Roads were so bad, I didn't have time to think about running my van into the back end of the semi in front of me. (positive or negative not sure which)

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Venting

Thanks Wildcat,

Seems that we are two of a kind presenting the brave face to the rest of the world, while inside we are scared out of our wits. I have always been the "little miss sunshine" for everyone else, when in actuality I know things are way different than I am telling everyone else. I do believe that someday things will improve, and I will do my part to help it along, unfortunately when the awful days outweigh the good days it certainly makes things dificult.

As for Sunny today, not here, it is going to snow more, -30 with the windchill and the roads were terrible this morning and they don't look to be improving anytime soon. I could handle this day better snuggled in bed with the blankets around my ears. Alas, what we want is seldom what we get (probably not a good idea anyway seeing as one day could lead to 2 days and so on and so on).

Breanne, thanks for your post. I kow that I will ge through this, not that I want to but more because I have to. Too many people depend on me being there for them to not get through this. That is my reasoning right now, right or wrong it is what is keeping me alive.

Well everyone have a good day and maybe the sun will come out tomorrow.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

pins and needles

I understand, to say them or write them sometimes makes them seem like someone else's problem not your own.

Much easier to separate myself from the issues than to deal with the ones I have To own the emotion is scary as heck, no-one likes the heart pounding, the cold prickles that seem to jump up from no-where and the cold sweat of fear when you realize that something is not quite right and may never be right again.

Here, it is much easier to deal with because everything is anonymous, but with your friends, family, doctors and therapists, you have to own the problems and feelings and that is very difficult. I think that is why we are given meds, to help us loosen up our tongues but not enough to make the situation comfortable (probably much easier to get drunk and go to the counsellor, no inhibitions, just get it out, I don't drink (don't like the taste or the hangover and the mix with my meds would not be pleasant), but it would probably make things easier to discuss:))

This probably didn't help, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

List of Good Things That Have Happened Recently

Hello everybody,

Wow, this is working out pretty good.

Let's see good things for me, again, I woke up this morning, I have an appointment to meet with the Psychiatrist this afternoon, first time, as we see Psychologists for most of our therapy and we get to see the Psychiatrist so that he can do whatever it is that he does. I am crossing my fingers that I am not "too crazy".

Have a great day and I will check on the list again in a few days.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Venting

Sorry, I haven't checked on this in a while, I had a migraine for 4 days, sick kids and a sick husband and hid in my room under cover (so to speak) drugged up to the gills.

The quotes are uplifting and mean so much.

Just curious, I feel that sometimes (most of the time) I am consumed (obsessed) with my depressive thoughts. Most often 85% of my waking time is obsessing about this. Is this normal? I feel so awful thinking of myself all the time and I try to block out the thoughts, I try to divert my thoughts, I try various activities but everything leads back to this depression. The breathing execises aren't working, I cannot get my thoughts to stop (maybe when I am drugged up with migraine meds), it goes around and around and around, even to think of a nice spot turns to sad events, and depressing thoughts. I admit it doesn't make me cry as much but I want the thoughts to stop.

I want to wake up and have a day where I am not scared that the next thing that happens will be negative, that the next thing I think of will not be negative, that I will not cry, that it is a good day and I will have more good days.

I am hanging in there, by a thread, but still I am hanging in there.

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