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Posts created by furgittit

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Venting

Diva,

Thank you for being impressed, upside of doing it all, ego boost, downside, exhaustion.

Being our mechanic/handyman/do-it-all person has been my job since the beginning of time, some of it I enjoy, most of it lately, I resent. I get so tired of no-one else doing, not necessarily because they don't want to, but that they don't know how to (duh, look at the book, that's what I do) or we can't afford to pay a professional to do it.

My work is pretty understanding, I would love to be able to ask for a month off (preferrably 6 months) to get my sh** together and rest but I can't afford the time off, I wouldn't get paid for it and I am the only one working in my house.

And then there are the other two ladies who work with me I know the one would understand, with a little resentment, but the other, well, I don't think she actually thinks about things before she speaks, it's like real life has never actually touched her and she knows it all, she has similar experiences and uses comparisons like my husband has been depressed for years, he has been on prozac, his has a chemical imbalance, his brother killed himself. Yours is situational and will blow over quickly. Or she says really stupid things (she does payroll and knows how much $ I make) like what year is your van? 99, oh well you should have bought something newer last October. AARGH it gets so frustrating.

I am at the point again, where I don't want to get out of bed and it is becoming increasingly difficult to just do that, ahh to lay in bed, play video games and read books all day. Or stay home and bake goodies for the kids. Or go out for lunch with my hubby. Or not worry about the next letter or Affidavit or phone call or what others may be thinking.

I may just talk to my Psychologist to see if maybe I can qualify for a temporary disability thing with EI or AISH or something, I don't have disability insurance through work. Just so darn tired.

Here I go running on again.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Borderline Personality Disorder

I have heard mention (from my psychologist) about Borderline Personality Disorder and have done some online research about it. It is very confusing and cannot differentiate as to whether this is something associated with my depression or if this is something causing my depression or if this is something completely different. From the test I took, there seems to be several categories of Personality Disorder.

Does anyone out there have any experience with BPD?

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

List of Good Things That Have Happened Recently

4 out of 10 so far, that is great.

Come on guys we need 6 more to make my goal. My posts don't count or else what would the point of the goal have been?

Got my nails done, and am thinking about getting a hair cut, I don't know.

Have a great weekend everybody.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Venting

You guys are great.

Today is a wierd day for me, I am noticing a wierd thought pattern, mood pattern whatever. For no reason (that I know of) my thoughts have gone from eh to blah to paranoid and sad. My thoughts are scattered and I am scared.

My husband decided he didn't want to go to counselling with me today, I was so tired and frustrated, I just called and cancelled my appointment and went back to bed. I have told my hubby this is something that he can do for me so that I am not so crazy, he just commented that he loved me how I am, crazy or not and that I don't need to change. He doesn't get that living in the constant cycle of get up and go and do, do, do, then bam down, sleep, sleep, sleep, cry, cry, cry isn't normal and that I am the one who wants to see a change not for him or the kids but for myself and my sanity. I have tried to explain this to him and he just doesn't get it.

I want to stop the paranoid thoughts, that everyone is talking about me behind my back, that everyone has an ulterior motive for doing things. That everyone else is just saying to do it their way because they want to force their views on everyone.

It took alot of cajoling from me to get my hubby to go the first time, I felt a little bushwhacked because the therapist said we wouldn't ambush him and that she would leave me to bringing things up with him, when she kind of just bammed left it wide open for me to say something to get it rolling. She has also pushed at asking me to consider leaving my husband, she even suggested to my husband that maybe I should leave him. He said that I could go ahead and leave and he won't stop me. At the end of the meeting, he agreed that he would come to a second meeting and I thought we were working on sorting us out.

Today, I don't know if I should continue with therapy or just say screw it.

Blahhhh, hopefully I can get my thoughts organized over the weekend and start next week fresh.

Take care everyone

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

List of Good Things That Have Happened Recently

Hey, where is everyone. Good stuff for me over the past couple of days.

I got my haircut, died it red, my daughter got her haircut and died it a darker red. My son loves me so much he walked all the way to Canadian Tire (and back) to buy a battery for my van, which was on the side of the road about 20 minutes away from Canadian Tire, my husband is a candidate for the new bariatric sleeve surgery, we will know when he gets his surgery in a couple of months.

My new goal for this week for this post isn't going to be so lofty, I would like to see 5 new posts from others,

Everyone have a great week.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Venting

Hey guys,

Today my thoughts are a little more organized. Over the weekend, my van decided to stop on the side of a busy road and my son had to walk to Canadian Tire to pickup a battery. Van seems to be working ok, but I will probably go to Pick'n'Pull this weekend and pick up an alternator and put it in just to be safe.

My weekend went pretty good other than that one bad thing. My husband has agreed to go to couples counselling but he will not come with me to see my therapist again.

My paranoid thoughts are not so bad this week, I still think my van is out to get me and am waiting for the other boot (ha ha mechanics will know what I am talking about) to drop.

Slept in again today and got to work for 10:00 not too bad, so far so good.

Well ttfn and have a great week.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

dealing with stress

Hey Wildcat,

Glad to hear that you are feeling more yourself today. I find that seroquel is the best. I am taking 25 mg every night, I think that may be why I don't want to get up in the morning. I think maybe I will talk to my doctor about cutting the pill in half and see if that helps.

Until the test in may, it is just a little lump, like any of our other lumps, bumps, bruises, scrapes etc. until a test confirms something, it is a nothing (non-entity), just more of you to love. I know, I know it is not my lump and easy for me to say and blah, blah, blah. But I am here if you need to talk, shout or otherwise vent.

Take care and hope to hear from you soon.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Venting

Aaargh, frustration again, I have been having money trouble and now after doing some research online with the CRA, I found out that have been paying 200 to 300 extra for my taxes every month. I brought this up with payroll and gave her the forms to figure out which "code" to deduct from (I even figured out the code/column for her). Payroll in all her 50 years has never had employees fill out the TD1 form except when first hired (they are supposed to be filled out every year) and had no clue that there were different columns than 1 and 2. I told her I would be happy to help her with this and even suggested she use the online calculator instead of the tables and she blew a gasket.

Sheesh, all I was trying to do was have more money every month to spend on bills, ya, the refund is nice, if I get it and it doesn't go to student loans.

I don't know, maybe I should just leave it and wait for the utilities to be cut off again and go to welfare for help with them.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

List of Good Things That Have Happened Recently

More to add, my clients miss me when I am sick/depressed, at appointments or otherwise not in the office. I have had several of them call me today (I had yesterday off to take my hubby to his appts) to make sure that I was ok and to make sure that I was going to be in on their days so they didn't have to deal with the other woman. This makes me feel good that my clients' like me, yet bad that they don't deal well with the other assistant. So, it is still a good thing for me

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

List of Good Things That Have Happened Recently

Educators,

Please feel free to add something positive or good that has happened to you as well, this is for everyone, not just consumers.

Thank you.

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