Venting
Thanks again Wildcat, it originally was my bosses thought a year ago, I didn't think it would make much of a difference until I looked into it more.
My thoughts today have gone erratic once again. Leading back to the exercise problem I have, the more "extra" I do, the worse I am. I keep hearing of all the "so-called" benefits and have not come across one that actually "does it" for me or means anything to me (the long term health benefits mean absolutely nothing to someone who doesn't care about life at the moment or someone with congenital heart disease, high blood pressure and other health problems which "exercise and diet" will not fix without medication for the rest of my life, so what's the point?).
I had decided to walk to the mailbox (because I don't want to drive my van more than necessary till I fix the alternator) which is a round trip of 1/2 hour+ at regular pace, took the little dog (he is 5 pounds) and my daughter. I thought well this should be fun, the sun is shining I am spending some time with my daughter and my doggy, I should be getting a cheque in the mail. I was really positive at the outset. The more I walked the angrier I got, I don't know why, my mood just deteriorated, the kid was fine, the dog was fine, didn't run into anyone I didn't want to, it was sunny and warm. When I got home, I was still angry and I didn't get much sleep last night.
Today, I am sad, tired and having a difficult time concentrating on my work. I want to cry, but am holding on as best as I can. I am going to work late tonight, in case the van decides to act up on me again so I am not stopping rush hour traffic when I stall out and have to boost or change the battery. I just need to get 3 more trips out of it before the weekend so I can pick up the alternator and put it in. My hubby even said he would come out and help me with it (nice, it is easy to get at, so I will make him do most of the work, while I fix the starter on his truck, then maybe he can start getting himself to and from appointments (once the ramp is down and he is able to do steps on his own).
That feels a little better. Whew!!!!!