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for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 55

Hello

Hi Jewel,

I love your cupcake picture!!!

Welcome to the forum, this program has helped me SO MUCH and along with changes in my lifestyle, I am really feeling much better and the sense of dread, the catastrophising, the lack of enthusiam, etc. are less and less.. yay!

I hope is as helpful to you as it has been to me :)

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 55

Communication Part VI

Very helpful!!

So true, how different things can seem and feel once we change our perspective. Thanks for this :)

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 55

Hello

Hi Jewel,

Good on you for getting a haircut!! Is amazing how small things can make a difference in the way one feels. For me isn not just the actual pleasuring/rewarding activity itself, but the 'taking care of myself' factor... I did not know how to do this, so these days, even if I do not feel like going to the dentist for example, and I still do not enjoy the drive there, the parking, dealing with people, the consultation, etc. when I am done I have this sense of satisfaction that I just took care of myself and just gave myself love and care and kindness :) and that itself feels very good.

Little steps, big gains!! Keep the good work :)

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 55

To share or not to share?

Hi Newbeginning,

I thought I'd share my experience. When I had my major depressive episode I did tell my immediate bosses (2 different people). At the end of the day I was very relieved to do so as they had noticed something was wrong anyway, my performance was poor, I was late for work all the time, disengaged, I was usually very well presented but during my time my grooming was terrible, etc. I was very lucky. Both were very understanding as the mother of one of my ex bosses is a psychologist, and then as for my other ex boss, his ex wife was bipolar, and his boy had ADD. Because of this they were very understanding and reassured me that getting my health back was the number one priority. I felt very supported and it was a huge relief to know this as is took the extra stress of being afraid all the time of losing my job, stress that of course one doesn't need when is going trough an episode! As for colleagues, etc. I did not tell them anything. I let them draw their own conclusions, and I soon started getting better and I was no longer the 'topic of conversation'.

Of course every situation is different and it all goes down to how comfortable you feel to discuss this others (and how appropriate it is) but that was my personal experience.

Good to know you're on the mend!! :)

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 55

Stress, Part III

Hi Samantha,

Thanks for a wonderful and helpful post.

I have not been around much as coincidentally I have been quite busy at work. Is great to feel productive again, and I have no time to procrastinate, lol. But on the other hand, the work load is a bit excessive at the moment due a temporary project, and things should normalise again in 5 weeks or so.

One old belief of mine was that when work load is excessive it takes priority, and comes even before my rest and relaxation time. But I analised this belief and where it came from, and I noticed mostly that it became from a place of 'drama', a need to stay stressed in order to stay motivated, not sure if this makes sense? I think this is because when I was younger I never really learnt the skill of self positive motivation i.e. desire to achieve, satisfaction of completing a task, etc. rather than a negative motivation (let stress and fear of not finishing my tasks on time be the motivator).

This time around I am trying to do things differently as that belief doesn't serve me and in fact is counterproductive. But for sure, it's been challenging to remain balanced and cope with the stress that sometimes I create myself in order to stay motivated (quite a paradox!). In one hand, I do have to put in the extra hours (working evenings from home, or doing a little bit of work here and there during weekends), but on the other hand I want to make my well being my priority and that means taking care of me and taking enough time for proper rest and relaxation. This is challenging for someone like me as I tend to have a very unbalanced approach. It's been a very good exercise!! And I definitely feel I am taking much better care of myself than prior times when I allowed work to take over and ended up burnt out from the stress and work load.

After having worked for several weekends in a row (not complete weekends, just bits here and there, but still unable to fully disengage from work for the whole weekend) I finally took last week for myself, got someone to clean my house, went to the pool, went to the gym, had a nice bath, dinner with a friend... it all felt very good :)

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 55

Your Personal Journey!

Hi,

Nice to read your story goofy!!

Like you, I am also work in progress. Actually I am starting to think I will be work in progress for the rest of my life, but that is not necessarly bad :)

I've been on the program only for a few months (started back in Jan 2011) but the change has been outstanding if I may say so myself! :)

Although I must admit my situation is 'easy' - my issues were mostly negative thinking, or what I know recognise as cognitive distortions, and poor lifestyle habits: high carb diet, no exercise, poor sleeping habits, etc.

I think its been little (or big) changes here and there, but I feel much better these days. There is still some negative thinking/stinking thinking but is WAY less than a few months ago!! That has been the major change I'd say. I went from believing that things were never ever going to get better for me, to having hope and suddenly realising that things are ALREADY better!

On top of that, my lifestyle is much healthier these days, I am now following a low carb eating style (high carbs and sugar spikes were contributing to my mood swings and depression that was related to food alergies), I exercise regularly (heck, I even got a biceps now! lol), I go to bed and wake up at the same time every day (I have noticed a huge difference from this), I have a good, healthy breakfast every morning (used to skip breakfast very often), and I try to avoid working during evenings and weekends unless is completely necessary. I also got a full health check up to rule out any physical diseases that could be contributing to depression and found out I had dangerously low vitamin D levels (which is directly linked to depression) so now I am trying to spend a little bit more time outdoors.

So everything has helped for sure, but is a huge relief to not be victim of the cognitive distortions anymore, I still get them, a lot, but now I am able to get myself out of the negative thinking circle much more faster...

Life is looking good and for the first time I feel hopeful again and I am even making some plans for the future... scary but exciting!!

I am truly grateful for this program, I am not exaggerating when I say it has changed my life, and I encourage everyone to follow the lessons and do the homework, this program works!!

Bless you all,

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 55

Stress, Part III

Yes, to be honest I am feeling quite proud of myself :) I just wrote my 'progress story' on Josie's 'Your Personal Journey' and is so nice to see how far I've become in just a few months.

You raise a very good point regarding the guilt and the stress, because I definitely did feel those negative feelings! The way I handled was to realise that taking care of myself and the time to rest and relax is necessary if I want to stay functional, healthy and keep my work performance and also all the 'gains' I've made on overcoming the depression. I can't let a work challenge set me back as I have worked hard for this!! I don't know, I guess these days I've just come to the realisation that if I don't take care of msyelf, who else will?! I will go on a long (and demanding) business trip in 5 weeks (which will be the culmination of the project I am working on) and I need to be on top shape for that. I am going to a fair overseas, working hours will be long and demanding. Therefore I thought, I can't really afford to get burnt out at this stage. I noticed one day last week that I chose to (because nobody forced me to) stay up until 1.00 am working, how poor my performance at work was the next day. So I guess I try to use all that as evidence that a balanced approach works better than an intense, unbalanced one. Best to go at a peace that is sustainable, rather than do short bursts of lots of work for hours and hours in the end just to end up all tired the next day and unable to think or concentrate because of how tired I am. I do get the negative feelings and is quite tempting to give in!! But I just have to keep reminding myself that the balanced approach works better, no matter how tempting it is to go for another 18 working day just to relieve the anxiety (short term 'benefit'). Most tasks can actually wait until the next working day, is just that I was so used to give in to my impulses!! (to relieve stress and anxiety).

On top of this approach actually working better, I felt the satisfaction of 'taking care of myself'. I used to be very bad at this, putting everything and everyone else as a priority. So learning this new skill feels fantastic, I feel like a 'grown up', I feel like I am behaving as someone who loves, respects can cares for her self and is a truly wonderful feeling and I guess that is what helps me fight the negative feelings of guilt :)

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 55

Hello

Hello blue eyes,

Just wanted to say that I hope things get better for you. You've taken a great step by joining this program! It has helped so much, and I am truly grateful for that. I hope it works for you as well,

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 55

New to here but not to depression:(

Hi Kat and welcome,

You've come to the right place. As is been pointed out, this program works (as long as we do the homework!), I can testify that!!

Hope it works for you as well.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 55

Stress, Part III

Thanks Tiana :)

Yes I do have weekly goals:

1. To work out at least 3 times per week

2. To eat healthy at least 5 days per week (and I take weekends 'off' to eat what I want, but no junk food)

3. To be in bed before midnight during week days

4. To have at least 3 productive days per week (that means no procrastination!)

At the moment I have not done any of the new lessons because work has kept me very busy (busy good!) but I am keeping a small diary to write my thought records whenever a negative thought comes... but surprisingly, I haven't used it in a while!! That of course doesn't mean I have not had negative thoughts, because I have, is just that they have not been that strong/intense/disturbing, etc. or they go very quickly, I just can't explain it, but whatever the source was of all the darkness, it feels as if it has dissipated, or lightened up...not sure if this makes sense???

All the 'work' is getting easier now. I think I have incorporated some good lifestyle changes and at the beginning it was hard, to force myself to go to the gym, to eat good food, to do the records, etc but it gets easier and easier with the time.

I also discuss this often with my best friend - keeps me accountable and she also provides some balance that sometimes I lack, like for example when I have not been able to go to the gym as often as I wanted, she points out how great I've been doing and reminds me of my accomplishments and that helps me to balance my perspective. She did this so often that nowdays when I find me putting myself down over X or Y I automatically say to myself that this is not true, that I should not feel guilty because I've done Z and A, and all is good and that I am making great progress!!! Sometimes is good to just sit back, take a moment to notice every little progress you've made, and pat yourself on the back :)

The change was not easy at the beginning, it was hard work. But suddenly, I just realised that I changed, for the good :)

Hope everybody else here is also making little progress here and there, because at the end of the day is definitely the ACTIONS that have more impact... good actions create good feelings...!

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