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Posts created by figofig

for 11 år siden 0 +0 / -0 20

Hi I´m new!

Welcome lou85!

It seems you have already made some positive steps by:

1) recognizing your symptoms

2) starting a CBT program

3) reaching out to a community of folks who know what it's like to be depressed

You are not alone.

for 11 år siden 0 +0 / -0 20

Perspective Change - Symptom Management

Hi eleveno,

I think that most of us like to think that we will get through our depression and be happy forever. But it is more mature and realistic to recognize this belief as a fallacy, and instead focus on accepting the wide range of emotional experiences that life provides and as you said, managing our symptoms.

I tend to think that everyone (not just people with depression) is prone to cognitive distortions from time to time, and to grow as human beings we all need to continually challenge our beliefs and reflect on our assumptions. It can be hard and it requires a commitment of time, but I think by integrating CBT into our lives, we are setting ourselves up to be better people.

It is unfortunate that you have experienced a set back, I know how demoralizing that can be. However it is reassuring that you have a plan to turn to, and a set of tools to prevent things from getting worse. It seems like you have put a lot of thought and effort into creating a proactive and personalized strategy for coping with setbacks.

I have really benefitted from reading your posts on this forum. Through your own self discovery you have been able to help a lot of other people. That is pretty amazing and I think you deserve to be recognized and congratulated for your contribution!

for 11 år siden 0 +0 / -0 20

Your Top 3- Things you´d like to do

I often get caught up in worrying about the large scale consequences of my actions that I do not allow myself to do things I like.

I do not own a car which would allow me to go hiking or get out of the city because I worry about the emissions contributing to global climate change and all of its adverse effects. I feel really great when I spend some time in nature, but I rarely permit myself to go on trips.

I do not like to spend money on beauty because I do not think it is fair to indulge in frivolity when other people struggle against so many injustices to meet their basic needs. However, I often feel self-conscious when I know I am the only person not wearing make-up or when people assume I am in high school when I graduated a decade ago.

I know that trying to live by these rigid principles I set for myself is debilitating and stagnating. When I do indulge in these activities, I feel like a hypocrite. I've been trying to challenge these negative thoughts and not be so hard on myself, however some days I still feel tremendous guilt.

for 11 år siden 0 +0 / -0 20

Accomplishments

I am getting back into a routine that includes CBT and meditation.

I have made new friends through volunteering.

I moved in with a friend and I feel less isolated. Even the social interaction of eating a meal with someone else makes me happier and lighter.

for 11 år siden 0 +0 / -0 20

Movies and Depression

I found (not a movie, but rather the book) Siddhartha by Herman Hesse to have a significant effect on my outlook. At one point the main character contemplates suicide but is ultimately saved when he realizes his life force is connected to everything in the universe and that his sorrow is just an emotion that can pass. Meditation and mindfulness play a key role in his life that I find inspirational. The overall tone of the novel is hopeful and peaceful. I sometimes carry the book in my bag and pull it out on the bus or when I am waiting for someone and I read my favourite passages.

The author also went through a period of depression which I think gives sensitivity and insight to his writing. I liked Siddhartha so much that I then proceeded to read Hesse's The Glass Bead Game, which deals with similar subjects of transcendence.

for 11 år siden 0 +0 / -0 20

Coping Strategies for a Stress Plan

Physical:

Meditation (9/10)

Exercise (8/10)

Mental:

Crossword puzzle (4/10)

Reading (3/10)

Social:

Dinner with friends (8/10)

Skyping an out of town friend (8/10)

Diversions:

Gardening (9/10)

Cooking (8/10)

Spiritual:

Meditation (9/10)

Journalling (7/10)

for 11 år siden 0 +0 / -0 20

a sudden change

Hi choi

First I want to say congratulations on finishing college. It sounds like you worked hard and had many challenges to face; so that is certainly an accomplishment. By no means are you a useless person.

I've been through periods where I haven't felt like myself and doing the simplest thing seems impossible. It is demoralizing and my low sense of self-worth makes it worse. But it's great that you identify yourself as a person full of dreams and that this current period is not the real you. You can feel better if you are willing to take the necessary steps, and you've already started by coming here and sharing your story! Welcome!

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 20

hey there

Welcome Suzz. It sounds as though life has dealt you a lot of hardship, which is not your fault. Depression can be so debilitating and negative thinking can make the world seem so bleak. One thing I found helpful, which is an integral part of the DC program, was to force myself to go out and do activities that I enjoy and give me, even momentarily, a feeling of joy. It takes work, but eventually those too few bright spots become more frequent and last longer and the black holes shink and fade.

Good luck on your journey. I admire your commitment to your family!

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 20

When friends cancel

I have some friends who I have known for a long time. We don't see each other very often, maybe once every 6-8 weeks. But when we do make plans, I really look forward to hanging out. I tend to keep to myself a lot, and I am not as social as they are, so I really value our time together.

In recent months there have been several instances when they have had to cancel on me. Sometimes their schedules change at the last minute, and other times they totally forget that we made plans. I am forgiving because I know they are genuinely sorry, but I can get pretty bummed out over this.

I am almost always the one to initiate the get-togethers. It makes me uncomfortable to think that I need them more than they need me, or that perhaps the reason they agree to hang out with me is because they feel an obligation towards an old friend, more so than actually wanting to spend time with me. I try challenging these negative thoughts and identifying the emotions I feel and that can help dispel the disappointment to some degree. But the fact that it keeps happening is continued "evidence in favor of the negative thought". It makes me worry that I am missing some social cue, that maybe they do not want to be friends with me but cannot tell me that in words.

It is discouraging and disheartening when I am trying to break free of depressive isolation by scheduling social activities, only to have friends cancel.

I would really like some feedback or discussion if anyone out there has anything to contribute in regards to being overly sensitive to let-downs from others or ideas for coping with disappointment.

for 10 år siden 0 +0 / -0 20

When friends cancel

Hi Ashley,

Thanks for the boost!

I do try to volunteer and join new groups to meet new folks, but it takes me a while to really become friends with someone. I think that is why I rely so much on a few good friends.

I think I often place too high expectations on myself and others, and end up feeling disappointed. I sometimes cope with this by avoiding people, plans, commitments and challenges so that I won't end up feeling disappointed. That is unhealthy, and much of the reason why I am here.

As far as making a plan for coping with disappointment:

1) I notice that the low feelings and negative thoughts don't last too long (I think they used to last a lot longer when I was in the depth of my depressive episode). I don't hold grudges against my friends either. So I can write these observations to myself in my journal and then when I am feeling disappointed, or rejected, or worthless I can read them and have proof from my own experiences that it will pass. I have noticed reading positive things I have written can help when I am feeling depressed.

2) I can then acknowledge these emotions as human emotions that happen and use the principles I have learned through mindfulness practice to be present in the moment with these negative emotions and not to analyze them as meaning something broader like "nobody likes me they're all just being polite".

3) It would be great if I could then go do some physical activity that will make me feel better. But sometimes it is very cold and that is not a wise option.

4) Another thing I could try when someone has cancelled on me, is to contact another friend even just to chat and catch up. I have a lot of friends who live far away and it is not always easy to keep in contact. Being let down might actually be motivation to do a better job of maintaining these long distance friendships.

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