It seems to me that working towards becoming healthy would always be the best course of action. Why would any one want to give up and choose to stay unhealthy. Today a counselor sent me a TED speech on happiness. I really enjoyed it and it is a part of a Gratitude workshop that I am attending. https://www.ted.com/talks/david_steindl_rast_want_to_be_happy_be_grateful?language=en
Welcome to the group. I have been here since last fall. It seems like you need to know that you deserve to be loved. Yes I have made some bad choices when it comes to choosing a partner. I am starting to think these bad choices have been because of low self worth and thinking deep down that I am not worthy. I do hope your new job will be a step forward and you to get some help. I am lucky enough to have a good health plan at work. Living in Canada means we have a public health system, so people can count on some help when in crisis. When you can get yourself well, you will be able to improve your relationships.
I'm back! Had a major set back 2 weeks ago. My chronic pain in shoulders and arms became over whelming at work. To many years working 40 hours in front of a computer. Even though I had a week vacation in May, my shoulders did not get better. I had the scary feeling of 'wish I was dead". A little shocking as I had not been in that frame of mind in 25 years. Back at work I struggles almost every day just to keep from going home. I was bidding my time till my next appointment. Survived till appointment day, when I cried in the doctor's office while asking for help. I asked her if she would she put me off work to get away from the stress of a very busy office while I tried to get my head together. Yes, I am in physiotherapy. I have been down that road many times before over the past 4 years. Naturally my family doctor gave me more meds. Her usual course of action. She did order ex-ray of the shoulder and I have since learned of its arthritis. Doctor also gave me cortisone shot in shoulder.(I am thankful for spell-check) True, I am working on gratitude exercises and lots of meditation to help me get straight with the pain. I have had many cortisone shots over the past 5 years in hips and elbows without much success. I have had to learn to go with the normal Doctor solutions even though I have had little success with them in the past. As a normally very active person, I look at all the things I would like to do with regret. Send Love and Blessings.
Galianna
I called LifeWorks to ask to have an appointment with a councillor. Someone should be calling me early next week to set things up. As I am not good at asking for help, making that phone call was a big step for me. This time I am not going to suffer in silence about the pain or the depression. I intend to follow every avenue that is available to me.
Put your best effort into spending some quality time with your child. Little children need lots of love and attention. I have read that 80% of children think the break up of their parents is somehow their fault. Reassure your child as soon as they can understand that it is not their fault. My daughter felt that when her father was late to arrive or did not show up at all, then it was her fault. That she was not deserving of his time or love. That was very sad and I would try to come up with possible excuses for his late arrival, (flat tire perhaps). Something, anything, to try and convince her that he loved her. When her father's mother told her (without thinking what damage her words would do)that her father would visit her more if she was a boy, then that one stupid comment undid all the previous work I had done. My daughter come home crying because of this thoughtless comment. When you visit you son, just keep all you attention on your child. Please Please don't use it as an opportunity to check up on your wife or to speak ill of your wife's family. That kind of stuff is very damaging for a child. As a positive note, if your son talks about the great visit with Dad, then you wife will become more interested in arranging visits.
