Greetigs fellow panickees,
I guess considering that this is an intro i'll just tell you what has happened to me and what I have gotten out of it.
I had my first attack 5 weeks ago [i]out of the blue[/i] and of course in a state of wtf went running to the ER only to be given a shot or 2 of ativan and sent home with a diagnosis of loco.
At first I was of course petrified by the entire thing and being the stubborn person that I am refused to belive I wasn't having a heart attack.
The odd thing for me was that I was already on Paxil for seasonal affective disorder when it happened. I had been for about 3 weeks. I got off it immediately because I felt that at that point anything could be causing this including the drug.
Since then they put me on beta blockers that i'm now weaning off of and also 1 mg of ativan 3-4 times a day that I am currently attempting to wean off of. I have learned how to tell when an attack is coming and I can fight them down pretty well, so I know i'm headed for recovery. I haven't had any attacks for about 2 weeks (although i do have constant palpitations). I had another small one yesterday. I find it interesting that my menstrual cycle is getting ready to start at the same time and the last ones were during my cycle as well. Anyway now i'm just having a heck of a time kicking the ativan. I get all hyper and wierd when there's not enough in me, so I had to reduce it slower in order to cope with withdrawl. I'm sure i'll make it though.
I just think that the reason I am having these things is because I suspect I have low hormone levels. My periods are very irregulalr and i'm only 30 yrs. old. I am very overweight lately and I have all kinds of other symptoms that I have had for about 3 months like subtle increase in body temp, "snapping" bones in my knees and fatigue. I am going to an OBGYN next week, like Belle is (another newcomer here)to have my hormones checked. I have already been in contact with a good nutritionist who will help me with my diet and supplements to regulate my hormones if in fact this turns out to be a problem.
Otherwise, well...I guess i'm loco! LOL! No, i'm just not going to let this knock me down for any reason. My life is too important to me.
Thanks for listening. I wi
Hi Brenda,
I read your post here. Phew! I feel so bad for you honey. I know what you are going thru, but I can't imagine having to feel so alone going thru it. I guess i'd say that it sounds to me like your husband is not being exactly "understanding" of this. Ok, so he doesn't know what's happening to you or what to do about it, but he still needs to hold you and comfort you and stand by your side as you attempt to figure this out. Why isn't that happening?
:quest:
You sound to me like you are very intuitive. You know yourself pretty well and you are already suspicious of the "treatment" you are getting from the doctor. I think this may for good reason.
I have said in another post that I believe hormone levels could have a large play in all of this. I don't think it's everyone's problem of course. I just think that in many cases there is a strong correlation between women with panic disorders and women who have either just had a baby recently, are on their menstrual cycles when they have attacks or are going thru menopause. Check it out. There are a lot of biological factors that could be causing these things.
Brenda, the next time you feel one coming try to slowly deep breathe and "control" it some. See if you can fight one off. Then you know if you can fight even one down, you can fight them all. See what happens. I find lying flat on the floor helps me, walking outside in the fresh air and breathing slowly while rubbing my heart slowly as if to say "it's ok ...let's just calm down". Tell your mind that you refuse to go full throttle with this...see if you can jewel it down in a sense. Get what I mean?
Be careful of Xanax. It is the most addictive Benzodiazepine on the market. I mean the withdrawl effects of the drug are actually the same if not worse in most cases than the anxiety symptoms that had you getting on it in the first place. This may be why your Dr. wants you to try other things. I know you feel like you need it because...AHHHHHHHH! That's why. But try to see if you can work with something else and use it sparingly when you need it the most. The power is in you Brenda to stop this...you already know that.
Take care of you,
Andrea
This message was edited by am on 3-27-03 @ 2:17 PM
Hey There,
Thanks for the quick response. I feel the need to add that I have not had any coffee or caffeine of any kind for over 5 weeks. This was something I was already avoiding before the incident took place. I definately agree with you. This would not help anyone with hormone problems or panic.
I am thankful for your support,
Andrea
Hi Sarajo,
I was really interested in your story. I think it's great that you have the ability to express so well how you feel to the group and subsequently to yourself. I think that for some people, just processing in their own minds what is wrong with them is a huge ordeal. So you are steps ahead I think in that you know what's hurting you. Now you just need to decide how to deal with it.
Instinctively, I get the feeling that you are feeling a more general feeling of "evolution" lately. As if you sense that there is more to life than what you're living. More to relationships with friends, lovers and family. I think it's more than just you having had a painful past but that you yearn for a different and better kind of future.
I feel like a nice vacation without your husband or kids would be good here. Even if it was just for 2 or 3 days. Perhaps you could go to one of those cool "retreats". You can research on line for different kinds of retreats and where they will be taking place. There are some that are designed for healing and restoring of the spirit.
Either way, I think it would behoove you to spend a few days by yourself or with a fun friend who is communicative and whom you feel comfortable around. It could be as simple as driving to a nearby town and staying at a hotel and going "antique hunting", or as elaborate as a long car trip to the Grand Canyon. I think that you might find in this personal and adventurous time that life does have a bigger scope and that indeed you are only limited by your own imagination.
[i]I hope this isn't too hokey for you...[/i]
Best Of Luck,
Andrea ;p
Hi Belle,
I'm sorry I was so "upbeat" during a time when you are feeling so down. I understand that sometimes even the most positive thinking won't help these tihngs. Believe me.
My panic attacks have been coming on about 6 times today. I'm getting ready for my period. There not as bad though as they were four weeks ago when I first started getting them.I've learned since then how to tell when its coming because mine in particular starts in the form of a very swoozy like dizziness that creeps fast. Before when I felt this, it would be followed shortly by a racing heartbeat and shakiness and fear. I stopped that part though because that is the flight response part. Ya the first two times I had them I went running to the hospital. I thought for sure I was having a heart attack. All I knew was "[i]something is wrong[/i]."
I would like to ask you about you having these since you were a child. Were they always full blown symptoms of Panic Attack or were they generalized anxiety? What are your symptoms? How do they start?
I would be interested in knowing. I'm doing my own research on this [i]thing[/i]
Thanks
Hi Sarajo!
This is so cool talking to you ladies! I'm really feeling good knowing that we're all going thru this and we're all helping each other.
LOL! I am so embarrassed about the Grand Canyon tip. How selfish of me to just assume you're from the USA. Let's see...UK...how about a nice lovely trip to the castle to meet the Queen for tea?? ;p
Anyway, "Hokey" is a kind of slang term that means wierd or mysterious or something. Like one might say to a gypsy and her tarot cards..."that sounds kind of hokey to me."
I am a kind of sensitive. I read people well I guess you could say. That's how I had the feelings about you wanting to get away and all. Of course, i'm sure we have all been thru something like it, but sometimes it's an actual [i]need[/i] within a person and not just a fantasy. I think that it's possible to bring balance to your life in a way that does involve your kids as well. As for your husband...that depends on you. Your kids are your responsibility though and they should be your inspiration as well. Sometimes it's ok to say you're not happy with your life. Sometimes if you don't acknowledge that in time, everyone suffers.
I'm having a good day today. I have had several attacks and I think it's because i'm starting my womans cycle. Thats when they came last time. I am fighting them down though and they only last about 10 minutes and then go away. The extent of them now is a really big swoozy head rush and dizziness. They used to be followed by racing heartbeat and shakes and stuff, but I have learned how to nip that in the bud. I think that a lot of mine and a lot of other womens is brought on by a low level of hormones which is why for many it happens around their periods. I have been researching the subject extensively.
By the way, if you don't mind me asking...are you by any chance an Aries under the sign of the zodiac? It's one of my interests and it's quite hokey...
Keep In Touch,
Andrea ;)
Ok Donna,
But did you get your hormones checked.. I mean at an OBGYN where they can check estrogen, FSH & LH levels for abnormalities?
Just curious...
Andrea
Hi Sarajo,
Darn! I was so wrong about your sign! :p
A Cancer huh...romantic to a fault...that's what I heard.
I also am interested in the personalities of the Zodiac. The whole "let me tell you your future" thing isn't really interesting to me.
It's cool I pegged you right on some stuff. I'm sure you wouldn't dream of not being with the kids. I'm just saying that some people think they can't start their lives over and keep their kids safe from emotional damage. I have seen it done before tho and in the end everyone gains from living the truth.
The UK is so cool. I wish I could go there and see it. I would love to see some of the Celts too. I was in an Irish folk group for a while and we use to have so much fun pretending we were really Irish! ;p
( I play guitar and sing)
Anyway, i'm glad to be talking with ya. I hope you are feeling better lately.
Take Care,
Andrea
Oh Ya! I forgot....i'm a goat! (Capricorn) Big climber...conqueror...big on the structure of things.
Peace To You,
Andrea
This message was edited by am on 3-29-03 @ 3:05 PM
Hi,
I have some questions for you and if you don't want to answer them that's fine. I'm doing personal research on this illness. I have panic attacks as well although only recently have they developed. I'm 30 years old and although I can't say for certain, I think that mine are hormone related.
I feel bad for you. I am curious as to where your parents are. Is your mother still alive?
Could you describe your panic attacks to me? Are they actual "attacks"? Or are they more general? Do you know if they happened on cycle periods? Have you or are you going through menopause?
Agorophobia is strange. Did it start out subtle and get more intense or did you just all of a sudden find yourself scared to leave one morning? I'm interested in your fear of being in a hospital. Do you ever feel like it's almost as if you remember being locked in a hospital in a past life? I know that's a strange question...kind of hokey too..but i'm just curious. Why would you have such a specific phobia?
Regarding Paxil, i'll bet some of the experiences you had geting off of it were "electrical shock" sensations. Right? All I know is that's what happened to me as I weaned off it a couple times. Why did you decide to get off it? Just felt you didn't need it anymore?
Feel free to talk to me about any of this. I would love to hear from you.
I hope you're able to get to the Dr. office ok. Try to pretend that you're in a vaccuum and nothing can harm you while you're in it.
I assure you that they will not "lock you up". This is something they need a lot of legal reasons to do nowadays. As long as you don't mention being suicidal or something, you won't be "admitted" anywhere. Okay?
Here's one more thing I want to suggest to you. I want you to see if you can find some photos of you when you were younger. Try taking some time alone in your room and "remember" who you were then and how you felt. Consider the cycle you are in now and ask yourself how you got from the point of then to now. See if anything clicks. Ok?
We have the power,
Andrea
