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for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

I wish I could call the Clinic before I leave, but they don't answer the phone, they just let it go to voicemail and take forever to return a call, so when we get there we would not have had a returned call. You would think when you check in that they would have the courtesy to say, we are running a bit behind, do you mind waiting or would you like to reschedule, in a nice, pleasant attitude and demeanor.

I agree my husband should be comfortable with his decisions, but when he is not given a choice by Health Care Providers, saying this is how it is going to be, shut up, sit down, take the ride, you have no choice and we are only providing you with the bare minimum of information so you can't sue us, oh and by the way these students are here because as a Health Care Provider I have more rights than you do as a patient, so what I say goes and if you don't like it there is the door. This is the attitude we have gone from most of the Health Care Providers at the Royal Alex Hospital and now it is running over into their bariatric clinic. We were told that this would not happen at the Bariatric Clinic and boom another lie from that hospital and its staff. So I feel justified in my wanting to protect my husband so he knows what his rights are because the Health Care Providers are definitely not informing him properly.

Now supportive or aggressive, is supportive just sitting there with a silly smile, not asking questions, and not mentioning what is legal and illegal, is that supportive? No, I don't think so, with this hospital and its staff, I have found they do not respond unless you become aggressive, cripes it took 2 years and several complaints just to get an appointment with the clinic when we were told it would only be 6 months. It took my husband being assaulted verbally and physically by a nurse and my getting angry at the nurse and being aggressive towards the staff to get the nurse written up and off of my husband's case. So I don't think this hospital takes supportive very well and you have to get aggressive with them in order for them to take you seriously.

Sorry, anger is just seeping out of my pores right now. I gave them several chances and each time, they screw up, how am I supposed to react? There aren't enough medications in the world that can make me just sit there and nod and not say or do anything when an injustice is being committed repeatedly towards my family.

For me it is another matter, what is the point in fighting for me, when I don't count and everyone (family, friends, health care workers) makes me feel like I don't count. With everyone it is pat me on the head and say enough so they hope I shut up and won't rock the boat. You get that enough something terrible will happen.

Sorry, I am not targeting anyone in particular who responds to my post, more ranting and raving to try to get it all out.

Suggestions are considered and comments are always welcome.

Thanks.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 823

Furgittit,

You obviously care very much for your husband's wellbeing............certainly he knows and appreciates this. It is unfortunate that you had such a stressful and unpleasant experience at the bariatric clinic. It's a good thing that you filled out a feedback form. Perhaps calling the clinic before leaving the house for the next appointment might be a good idea so you can check if they are running on time or are behind schedule.........what do you think?

Asking to be involved in the process is not selfish...........as you said you are his spouse and you DO matter. Stand your ground but make sure you are being more supportive than aggressive. Your husband should feel comfortable with his own decisions.

Hope you have a calmer week from here on!

Faryal, Health Educator

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Part 2

I was moody all day yesterday and last night after I asked if he could see where I was coming from he said no. I told him the next time they attempt to exclude me and he let's them, I will leave him. I cannot go through not knowing what is going on again I don't have the strength mentally for that. I also said to him that the hospital has to ask his permission for student to be in the room as there is an act called Freedom of Information and Privacy, he said he didn't know and would say no-more students are to be involved in his file.

I feel like such a baby and that I shouldn't react this way but I cannot control it and my hubby doesn't seem to validate me at all, I know this is for him, but I think it is only fair that I know what is going on because hubby only tells bits and pieces over an extended time and then he asks me questions about things I have no answers for, because I wasn't there. I even blew up at him and said don't ask me I wasn't there so how am I supposed to know.

Still cheesed off last night I went and bought a case of coolers, downed one and downed two. They were good. Sat down and 10 minutes later I was drunk and miserable (2 coolers who knew) I don't normally drink, I usally have one beer a year and that's if I am lucky. So I went to my room and I cried and I cried and no-one seemed to care. Finally hubby came to bed and we talked, he still didn't get it but at least he will fight to have me with him from now on and no more students.

Just wanted to get this off my chest, I know it sounds completely selfish, but that is who I am, I need some control when my life is out of control, even if it is just knowing what is going on.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Here we go again, last week went pretty good, the weekend was awesome.

However, Monday rolls around and hubby has appointments at the Bariatric clinic and when he first started there, I was promised that I would never be excluded from any part of his treatment or appointments unless my hubby requested it. Well usually the appointments are on time and smooth. Monday, was terrible, the clinic was running 1 hour behind for his appointment with the nurse, no-one advised us of this when we got there. Then the surgeon was running 2 hours behind, to which no-one said anything, until I asked and the secretary was nice enough to go ask and she said we would be another 15 minutes or so and then the B@#$% of a nurse came out and in a very B@#$%^ tone said if it's not good enough you can always reschedule, I got a little short back at her and said we had wasted enough time getting to this point, there was no point in wasting more time. No problem she shut up and I filled out a feedback form suggesting that the staff (in particular that nurse) should maybe learn to communicate without sounding like a B@#$% and if patients arrive on time for their appointments and the staff already knows that the staff is behind, then to maybe advise the patients so that the patients aren't stressing over the tardiness of the staff (makes sense to me).

Then my Hubby was asked to go to the room for the surgeon, and I went to get up and go in with him (the B@#$% nurse said I wasn't allowed to go in, I was flabbergasted). When the B@#$% got back I asked her why I wasn't allowed in, she said that it was up to the clinicians. This didn't make sense to me and I was distraught, my hubby always fought to have me in with him whenever he was told that before, because he liked having a witness to any abuse that occurred at "that hospital" he didn't fight this time. So now I am thinking why, I am getting paranoid, I am crying in the waiting room, feeling as though I am not a part of this anymore, I go to the washroom and clean up and cry some more. Finally hubby comes out, I was fuming, I went to our truck and waited for him. I asked him if he knew why I wasn't allowed in the room and he said the surgeon said he wanted to make sure he was doing this for himself and not for anyone else and that the spouses don't matter. Sorry, but I do matter, if it weren't for me my hubby would still be getting fatter and no-one would be helping him. I asked him after the doctor found out it was for the right reasons why he didn't ask if I could come in to learn, he said he didn't know. Yet my husband was perfectly comfortable with perfect strangers (students) in the room with him without anyone obtaining his permission. You bet I am upset.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 823

Furgittit,

That is quite the string of events you have been dealing with!

Firstly, thank God that your son was not badly hurt in the fight. While your husband's brother-in-law clearly has some anger issues, it seems this situation just got out of hand unnecessarily.

It's no doubt you are dealing with a lot of stress. Having a slip and smoking is common for many quitters when under major distress. But we all know that unfortunately smoking will not make anything better. Hopefully you have managed to reclaim your quit. It may be a good idea for you to check out our sister site www.stopsmokingcenter.net if you feel you need support in this arena.

Good luck with everything and keep us posted on how things work out.

Faryal, Health Educator

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Hi everybody, things have been going well for the last little while no ups no downs, till yesterday, that is......

Forewarning the contents of this post may be disturbing to some readers.

I got a call at work from my husband advising me that his brother-in-law punched our oldest son (19) (who wasn't living at home but at his gramma's) in the eye. I tried to call my son, phone was busy, busy, busy, why don't old people believe in two lines? I was getting upset that I couldn't reach my son. So I asked if I could take 30 minutes to run an errand, no problem. Got there approximately 5 minutes later to talk to my son. Well I saw my son's face and I flipped out. I asked him what happened and he told me the story about how his cousin was egging him on to hit him (his cousin is 2 years older than him) so my son tackled him to calm him down, well cousin wasn't calming down so my son wasn't letting going. brother-in-law (let's just say jerk, I never did like him anyway) tried to pry my son off of his cousin and couldn't so he punched my son in the head. Well jerk is 50 years old and my son is 19 and it wasn't serious enough to punch anyone, both boys agreed to this part. So cousin phones his dad and tells him that I want charges pressed and that if he doesn't watch it I am going to go out there and kick his butt (which wouldn't be too difficult as he is only a little weasel) and maybe bring a gun (ahh, hopefully I don't get charged with uttering threats, but then again I am on seroquel they might take that into consideration) to put him out of our misery because he screwed us over one too many times. Jerk starts in on old news and keeps threatening me with the cops and a lawsuit (goodluck I told him contract was iron clad, he screwed himself when he thought he could screw us, go talk to another lawyer because my bosses agree that the contract was iron clad.) So I was handed the phone and I said I don't talk to lying jerks and hung up on him.

I took my son to the doctor to ensure he was ok and he was. We went back to my place and my hubby and I talked and now our son is living at home again.

So my son is going to the RCMP today to file a police report and the RCMP will take it from there. I guess this isn't the first time jerk has been violent towards family and he has a lengthy criminal history of drugs and violence.

I later called my nephew and apologized to him for my blow up at him.

Oh yeah, I fell off the wagon and had 2 cigarettes yesterday 1 year and 1 day smoke free and I slipped, damn men, kids and will power. the cigarettes made me sick so no more.

Deep Breath, breath, breath, breath. That's a little better, and whewwwwwwwww.

So all my little chicks are back home, now I have to figure out how to feed and clothe them all until the oldest gets a job.

Thanks for listening.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 823

Hi Furgittit,

Were your blues triggered by you running into your ex-step-brother over the weekend? It sounds like there may be some resentment or tension in your relationship with him that has not been resolved yet?

On the other hand it's great that you are trying to reconnect with old friends again. Have you tried simply "googling" their name? Perhaps you might locate them this way............these days everything is on the internet. Or you could try 411 and see if you get lucky that way.

Hope you feel better as the day goes on...............try and spend a few minutes doing something you enjoy today. Venting here is always a welcome option!

Faryal, Health Educator

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Well, I am quite down today, don't know why but I am blue and frustrated. It is fairly cool today so that is nice, my lips hurt (big red, itchy, puffy, sore, rashy) and I can't see my doctor until Saturday. On top of it all, I can't seem to get past trying to locate some of my old friends, it is so difficult when people have 2 last names or get married and change their names. Even looking on different school websites has drawn me a blank. This is sort of my obsession now and I feel that I have to find these people (not so that it interferes with my life). I have tried the usual places that are free, but other places that cost money are beyond my means and they say they have found these people but I have to pay $???? first before I can get the result. Stupid for not keeping in touch with these people when I was younger.

Ahhhhhh. If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to advise me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 271

Thanks Diva,

Weekend went ok, except my second boyfriend decided to up and die on me (Paper Mario) when I had powered up my HP and FP to a pretty good number, I couldn't save it because I was in the Pit of 100 Horrors. Scary but fun.

Saw my ex step-brother at my mother-in-laws house, he was picking up my oldest son who lives at grandma's to go paint balling. I hadn't seen him since that fateful night 5 years ago (the night we all went to dinner (my dad paid for it at the request of psycho b@#$%) for one last time). I told him to call me if he wants but he was sort of non-commital, you know men. Hopefully, we can get back on track, as we were close at one time, heck he would bring his daughter over to our place every second weekend for his access with her.

Weekend went ok except was really blue Saturday night. Hubby helped cure that. YEP!!!!!.

Have a great day.

for 15 år siden 0 +0 / -0 910

Hiya Furgitit,

Glad to hear you are feeling ok. I hope you found your friends online!

As for your second boyfriend, he sounds like a catch

I hope you had a great weekend!

How are you today?

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