Thank you all for your replies :) Where else could I go for a place to vent and end up with advice, support and a good dose of 'lighten up' - as opposed to 'lighting up' - for cryin' out loud?
Jan - Thanks for your kind words & great advice - how nice to realize you can reach the point where cigarettes 'have absolutely no meaning' in your life regardless of your stressors. I look forward to the day when that statement is true for me too
. Ashley - Thanks for your support and reminder about rewards! It feels good to give myself permission to have a' me' day' once in a while too. Made it through a crappy few days sans Nicodemon too!
Pen - You got that right! I really didn't want to lose my resolve and blow my quit; was just crying over my own sorry a** and lamenting how I used to cope with a bad day by 'enjoying' a vanilla tipped cigar! Man, I really wanted that cigar at the time too - but I 'enjoyed' a scoop of vanilla ice cream instead.
Willis - Thanks Quit bud 
Stickin' - Great wisdom in your words. Now that I'm feeling better, I can't imagine what I was thinking. But I'm glad I ticked off another seasonal 'trigger! Thanks for the thumbs up on 1 yr (soon) too!
Breather - LOL! - head first into the 'pity pot' I plunged! Gagged on the stench though, so had to come up for air! So relieved I didn't cave - can't imagine starting all over with that demon on my back!
Jim - I'm so glad you got your comp fixed and brought that sense of humor back to SSC :) Reading all those archived posts was getting creepy! Gonna hafta find out what the heck you're all LMAO about and find this 'Brian' movie now.
Denise - Thanks for your kindness & noticing I don't smell so bad too! We all smell good around here nowadays - it's smoking that stinks! And congrats on making it over 2 months too! You're doing great now :)