wdc,
So glad to hear a positive spin - "thanks for chatting"!
What makes you think you are forever alone. on here we talk about negative core(deep down within or on the surface). I have not been able to maintain a relationship (actually even tried once, but realized it was too much for me then and now) but it doesn't mean never! Never and forever are a long time and we do get better!
As you said, you have to be willing (a positive spin). Which translates to me, that you know you have to keep going and you still believe there is hope or you wouldn't be looking for help! (another positive spin)! So hang in there and we will see what we can find out for you - of course, they are only suggestion and you have to discern for yourself what is in your best interest and where you'd want to go!
There are two CBT therapist, one in Maryland - Donna E. Burns, 6525 N. Charles Street, Suite 234, Baltimore Phone # 4109388494 another in Havre de Grace, MD, Phone # 4104099164 There are also two in DC - one is Dr. Carolyn D Gravely-Moss, 2314 Minnesoto Ave. SE, Phone # 202-581-0778 and Larry Cohen, 4808 43rd Place NE, Phone # 202-244-0903. These are counselors who practice CBT and some practice other types of counseling as well. There are crisis center hotlines that may be able to make a referral in your area - 1-888-793-4357 is what is listed for DC and 1-800-273-8255 is the National Hotline. Maryland crisis line is 1-800-422-0009 and their referral line 1-301-864-7161.
A place I found is psychoanalygic center of philadelphia, again, I don't know if either is any good, it's just a google and through searches they kept coming up! However, they may be too far! I am sure there are others, but I can only go so far and it takes oh, so much time to do research these days! I hope this helps you some! Write those crisis and referral numbers down by the phone!
I know work is hard to maintain. I started out post-diagnosis and having to retire on disability - two years later, working two days a week, I am up to five. But it took a couple of years to get here and I'm not working at a job using my education, but I am on my way (little by little).
Another positive - you are chatting! So glad you are able to do that now....hope it continues! I'll see what I can find in your area. There are some support groups in the USA. I am not familiar with your area. I've been to Baltimore once and DC a couple of times.
Personal question, decline to answer if you want, do you work for the federal government?